Mr. Broccoli's a no-show.
Kim How was your day, baby?
Kim You lost your J-O-B?
I got F-I-R-E-D. Me and 300 other people.
Kim They cannot do that.
H Miss Harridan
[Miss Harridan reads a flyer for a fundraiser called "Rock for Daddy Day Care"]
"Rock for Daddy Day Care. Help us finance our new permanent home." [put the flyer on her desk; to Jenny] Do you know what this means?
J Jenny
It's a chance to improve ourselves through a little healthy competition?
H Miss Harridan
[frustrated]
No, you bubble-headed idiot. It's a death sentence. If they get their hands on a big enough space, they'll ruin me. They're selling fun. I can't compete with fun. [turns away in anger] I should've crushed them in the beginning when they were weak. It'll be harder now, but I have no choice. I've got to stop them.
J Jenny
How're you gonna do that?
H Miss Harridan
[Miss Harridan turns back to Jenny and smiles cruelly]
By any means necessary.
B Becca
We need more learning about things!
More learning about things?
B Becca
Yes. We're at a very critical age. You have to feed our minds!
Charlie [to Phil]: Today, we need some organization and planned activities.
No. We need Ritalin and leashes, that's what we need.
Jamie's Mom [to Jamie]: Who are you going to call if there's any problem? (gives her a phone)
JS Jamie's Mom
Oh, such a good girl!
Kim So, Pooch, how was your first day at school?
Kim Just Okay?
I don't know anybody there.
Kim Oh, well, give it some time. You'll make some friends. [to Charlie] How was your day, baby?
Kim You lost your J-O-B?
I got F-I-R-E-D. Me and 300 other people.
Kim They cannot do that. What about Jim Fields? Can't he do something?
Jim Fields is the one that pulled the trigger. Now, he's not gonna be inclined to do anything 'cause when I found out it was him, I told him he could take a flying F...
Kim Hinton Charlie!
[Charlie and Kim turn to Ben, who wipes his nose on the back of his right hand; they turn back to each other]
H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-P. Don't worry about this. I'm a guy in demand, and I'll have a new job in a week. A week.
[Charlie and Kim stop by the trailer park]
This is the right address.
Kim You gotta be kidding me!
Hey, we can at least check it out, you know!
Kim Ben is NOT going here!
Looks can be deceiving, let me just go take a look!
Kim "Looks can be deceiving"?! We're in a trailer park!
TP Trailer Park Lady
[Charlie walks out of the car and is greeted by an overweight woman with a cigarette in her mouth and carrying a baby at the same time]
Yeah...???
I might've made a mistake; I'm looking for the preschool.
TP Trailer Park Lady
[putting her cigarette away]
Oh-ho, yes, it is! [flips around a "BEWARE OF DOG" sign to reveal that "TOUCH OF EDEN PRESCHOOL" is written on the back] Welcome to the- [goes into a smoking induced coughing fit] Sorry...Welcome to the Touch of Eden Preschool, can I help you?
[realizing that Kim was totally right]
Oh, no thank you... [the next place on their list is a farmhouse owned by an old couple. They walk up to an old woman fanning herself] Is this the right place???
Kim I think so...
OW Old Woman
[gets up to greet Charlie and Kim]
Hello...
OW Old Woman
[leads Charlie and Kim off the porch]
We keep the children right around here!
[Cut to the old woman and her husband opening a cellar door to show where they keep the children. Charlie and Kim look into the cellar, and are shocked by what they see...None of it is shown on camera, but it's obvious they don't want to put Ben in there] Old Woman's Husband: Go ahead! After you, ma'am!
[Charlie and Kim instantly start running away from the old couple]
Where'd you get the address to this place?!
Kim No, you picked this place!
We should report this to somebody! [the third and final stop on their tour is a seemingly normal house] Alright, now that's what I'm talking about! See, I knew there had to be at least ONE decent place in town!
Kim Yeah, it looks alright...
PO Police Officer
[A squadron of police cars whizz past Charlie and Kim, parking in front of the house, presumably to arrest the owner of the daycare center] [through the megaphone]
THIS IS THE POLICE. WE HAVE YOU SURROUNDED.
[freaking out]
OH, SHIT! GO!!
[Charlie and Kim drive off]
