Silent Bob Bitch, what you don't know about me I can just about squeeze in the Grand **** Canyon. Did you know I always wanted to be a dancer in Vegas? Hunh? [He does a dance move with his hands.] Bet you didn't even know that shit did you?
Played by Kevin Smith 
Chasing Amy (1997) · 61 quotes
Chasing Amy (1997) · 61 quotes
6th most-quoted character in Chasing Amy (1997): in 5 of its 61 quotes
Most scenes with: Jay (4)
Scenes with Silent Bob
5 scenes Silent Bob Silent Bob [to Holden, who has just revealed his trouble with Alyssa]
You're Chasing Amy.
What? What did you say?
Silent Bob You're Chasing Amy.
What do you look so shocked for, man, fat bastard does this all the time. He thinks just cause he doesn't say anything, it'll have this huge impact when he does open his ****in' mouth...
Silent Bob [to Jay]
Jesus Christ, why don't you shut up? You're always yap-yap-yappin' all the time, you're givin' me a ****in' headache. [to Holden] I went through something like what you're talkin' 'bout, 'couple years ago, this chick named Amy.
When?
Silent Bob [annoyed]
A couple of years ago?
Silent Bob [to Holden]
So there's me an' Amy, and we're all inseparable, right? Just big time in love. And then about four months down the road, the idiot gear kicks in, and I ask about the ex-boyfriend, which, as we all know, is a really dumb move, but you know how it is - you don't really want to know, but you just have to know, right? Stupid guy bullshit. Anyway she starts telling me all about him - how they fell in love, and how they went out for a couple of years, how they lived together, her mother likes me better, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah - and I'm okay. But then she drops the bomb on me, and the bomb is this: it seems that a couple of times, while they were going out, he'd brought some people to bed with them - m?nage a trois, I believe it's called. Now this just blows my mind, right? I mean, I am not used to that sort of thing. I was raised Catholic, for God's sakes.
Saint Shithead.
Silent Bob [Silent Bob elbows him. Jay raises his fist as if to strike] [to Jay]
Do something. [to Holden] So I'm totally weirded out by this right? And I just start blasting her - like I don't know how to deal with what I'm feeling, so I figure the best way is by calling her "s**t", and tell her she was used - I mean, I'm out for blood. I really want to hurt this girl. And I'm like "What the **** is your problem?" and she's just all calmly trying to tell me, like, it was that time, it was that place, and she doesn't think she should apologize because she doesn't feel that she's done anything wrong. And I'm like, "Oh, really?" That's when I look her straight in the eye and tell her it's over. I walk.
****in' A.
Silent Bob No, idiot. It was a mistake. I wasn't disgusted with her, I was afraid. At that moment, I felt small - like...like I'd lacked experience, like I'd never be on her level, like I'd never be enough for her or something like that, you know what I'm sayin'? But what I did not get - she didn't care. She wasn't looking for that guy anymore. She was...she was looking for me, for - for the Bob. But, uh, by the time I figured this all out, it was too late, you know. She'd moved on, and all I had to show for it was some foolish pride, which then gave way to regret. She was the girl, I know that now. But I pushed her away. So I've spent every day since then chasing Amy...so to speak.
Man, why do you always have to tell that ****in' gay story?
Silent Bob Man, shut up.
You shut up, you fat ****!
What's that shit he's got us saying?
Silent Bob Oh, umm..."Snootchie Bootchies."
Snootchie Bootchies. Who the **** talks like that? That is **** baby talk.
