Caddyshack quotes
107 total quotesMultiple Characters
Spaulding Smails
Ty Webb
View Quote
Note: bolded portion ranked #92 in the American Film Institute's list of the top 100 movie quotations in American cinema.
View Quote
[to Ty, about Judge Smails] If he bothers you, I'll take care of him. What you've got to do is cut the hamstring on the back of his leg right at the bottom. He'll never play golf again, because his weight displacement goes back, all his weight is on his right foot, and he'll push everything off to the right. He'll never come through on anything. He'll quit the game.
View Quote
Hello? Anybody home? Hello, Mr. Gopher! It's me, Mr. Squirrel. Just a harmless squirrel. Not a plastic explosive or anything. Nothing to be worried about. I'm just here to make your last hours on earth as peaceful as possible. Don't mind this. This is doctor's orders. You don't mind if I just pop in there for a few laughs? That's right. Or in the words of Jean-Paul Sartre: "Au revoir, gopher." This is going to be sweet.
View Quote
In one physical model of the universe, the shortest distance between two points is a straight line, in the opposite direction.
View Quote
[singing] I was born to love you.
I was born to lick your face.
I was born to rub you,
But you were born to rub me first.
I was born to lick your face.
I was born to rub you,
But you were born to rub me first.
View Quote
I feel like a hundred dollars.
View Quote
Double turds!
View Quote
Dr. Beeper: We're about to tee off now so call the hospital and move my appointment with Mrs. Bellows back 90 minutes...Just snake a tube down her nose and I'll be there...in four or five hours.
View Quote
Lacey Underall: [to Ty] Will you forget the massage and just kiss me, you fool?
View Quote
Mrs. Smails: Will you come and loofah my stretch marks?
View Quote
Lou Loomis: You, Angie, pick up that blood.
View Quote
Danny: Hey, Mr. Webb. Can I ask you something?
Ty: Sure thing. Shoot, Timmy.
Danny: Danny. When you were my age, did you ever have trouble deciding what you wanted to do with your life?
Ty: No, I've never had that problem. Why?
Danny: Forget it. I didn't think you'd understand.
Ty: Do you take drugs?
Danny: Every day.
Ty: Good. So what's the problem?
Ty: Sure thing. Shoot, Timmy.
Danny: Danny. When you were my age, did you ever have trouble deciding what you wanted to do with your life?
Ty: No, I've never had that problem. Why?
Danny: Forget it. I didn't think you'd understand.
Ty: Do you take drugs?
Danny: Every day.
Ty: Good. So what's the problem?
View Quote
Danny: Did you take the Cooter Preference Test when you were a senior in high school?
Ty: Yes, I took it. They said I should be a fire-watcher. What are you supposed to be?
Danny: An underachiever.
Ty: Yes, I took it. They said I should be a fire-watcher. What are you supposed to be?
Danny: An underachiever.
View Quote
Danny: I haven't even told my father I'm not gonna get that scholarship. I'm gonna end up working in a lumberyard the rest of my life.
Ty: What's wrong with lumber? I own two lumberyards.
Danny: I notice you don't spend too much time there.
Ty: I'm not quite sure where they are.
Ty: What's wrong with lumber? I own two lumberyards.
Danny: I notice you don't spend too much time there.
Ty: I'm not quite sure where they are.
View Quote
Ty: I like you Betty
Danny: It's Danny, sir
Ty: Danny. Danny. I'm going to give you a little advice. There's a force in the universe that makes things happen. All you have to do is get in touch with it. Stop thinking. Let things happen...and be...the ball.
Danny: It's Danny, sir
Ty: Danny. Danny. I'm going to give you a little advice. There's a force in the universe that makes things happen. All you have to do is get in touch with it. Stop thinking. Let things happen...and be...the ball.