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Ally Nora Dunn
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Grace Will you stop being such a martyr?
Bruce I am not being a martyr. I'm the victim. God is a mean kid over an anthill with a magnifying glass, and I'm the ant. He could fix my life in five minutes if he wanted to, but he'd rather burn off my feelers, and watch me squirm!
God In a way, I'm here to offer you a job.
Bruce Job? What job?
God My job. When you leave this building, you will be endowed with all of my powers.
Bruce Whatever you say, pal.
God I did the same thing to Gandhi. He didn't eat for three weeks.
Bruce Holy sh... cow.
Bruce Almighty
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All Bruce Almighty quotes →