Paul Smecker, F.B.I. quotes from The Boondock Saints (1999)

Paul Smecker, F.B.I.

Brilliant. So now we got a Huge Guy theory and a Serial Crusher theory. Top notch.

Paul Smecker, F.B.I.

Television. Television is the explanation for this. You see this in bad television. The little assault guys creeping through the vents, coming in through the ceiling. That James Bond shit never happens in real life. Professionals don't do that.

Paul Smecker, F.B.I.

You Irish cops are perking up. That's two sound theories in one day, neither of which deal with abnormally-sized men. Kinda makes me feel like Riverdancing. [begins dancing]

Paul Smecker, F.B.I.

We'll start the ass-kissing with you. [points to Detective Greenly]

Paul Smecker, F.B.I.

Hey Greenly, onion bagel. Cream cheese.

Paul Smecker, F.B.I.

That's all she freakin' wrote.

Paul Smecker, F.B.I.

Caf? latte. Twist of lemon. Sweet 'n' low.

Paul Smecker, F.B.I.

Cuddle? What a ****.

Paul Smecker, F.B.I.

Just pour the drink, you f**ry ****.

Paul Smecker, F.B.I.

"Symbology"? Well, now that Duffy's relinquished his King Bonehead crown, I see we have a new heir to the throne. The word I believe you're looking for is "symbolism".

Paul Smecker, F.B.I.

Well, Freud was right. So you think they came for the "**** man", huh?

Paul Smecker, F.B.I.

There was a fire-fight!

Would they ever harm an innocent person for any reason?

Paul Smecker

No, they would never do that.

Paul Smecker

Well, the Two Irish guys wouldn't, the Italian guy might. He's kind of an idiot.

I'm beginning to see ...

Paul Smecker

What are you doing?

Hojo

I just wanted to cuddle.

Paul Smecker

Cuddle? What a ****.

Det. Dolly

So, what's the symbology there?

Paul Smecker

Symbology? Now that Duffy's relinquished his "King Bonehead" crown, I see we have an heir to the throne. I'm sure the word you were looking for was "symbolism". What is the ssssymbolism there? Let me explain it to you. In Greek and Roman mythology, when you died, you would have to pay the toll to Charon, the boatman who ferried you across to the gates of judgment. This made sure the dead came to atone for what they did during their lives, Detective Dollypoposkallius.

Det. Dolly

Jesus, you're the first one that ever got that!

Paul Smecker

Yeah, well, I'm an expert in ... nameology!

Gay bartender

Oh, you've already had quite a bit, are you sure you...

Paul Smecker

Just pour the drink, you fairy ****.

Gay bartender

...I can smell you.

Det. Greenly

What if it was just one guy with six guns?

Paul Smecker

Why don't you let me do the thinkin', huh, genius?