[Colonel James is in jail after being arrested for cocaine possession and attempted statutory rape] Jack Horner : Alright, you didn't know how old she was, and you just brought her back to your place, that's all. You didn't do anything. Colonel James : No. Jack Horner : You didn't do anything, right? Colonel James : No! You know me, Jack. Jack Horner : Alright. Colonel James : It's just...they found something else at the house. Jack Horner : What? Colonel James : Well, it's just...it's my **** weakness, Jack. They're so cute. They're so small. They're so adorable. Jack Horner : [disgusted] Ah, Jesus... Colonel James : I don't touch them, Jack! I don't touch them in any way! Now you think I'm an asshole. Now, I love you, Jack, you know that. Now, there's just one thing I wanna know. Are you gonna be my friend? Are you my friend, Jack? Jack Horner : Alright. [puts the phone down and gets up to leave]

http://www.moviequotedb.com/movies/boogie-nights/quote_128186.html