Albert
Whatever I am, he made me! I was adorable once, young and full of hope. And now look at me! I'm this short, fat, insecure, middle-aged THING!
Armand
I made you short?
Albert
Armand
In this scene
More from The Birdcage
Agador Armand, why don't you let me be in the show? Are you afraid of my Guatemalan-ness?
Armand Your what?
Agador My Guatemalan-ness, my natural heat. You're afraid I'm too primitive to be on the stage with your little estrogen rockettes, right?
Armand You're right. I'm afraid of your heat.
Armand Al, you old son of a bitch! How ya doin'? How do you feel about that call today? I mean the Dolphins! Fourth-and-three play on their 30 yard line with only 34 seconds to go!
Albert How do you think I feel? Betrayed, bewildered... wrong response?
Albert No good?
Armand Actually, it's perfect. I just never realized John Wayne walked like that.
The Birdcage
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