Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure (1989) · 52 quotes
Tied for 5th most-quoted character in Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure (1989): in 3 of its 52 quotes
Most scenes with: Ted (2)
Captain Logan I spoke to your principal today, Ted. He said you're failing history.
Me and Bill-
Captain Logan He also said that if you fail history, you flunk out of school. You know what that would mean, don't you, Ted?
That I would have to go to Oates Military Academy. Sir.
Captain Logan I spoke to Colonel Oates this morning. He's anxious to meet you, Ted...
Why?
My dad's sending me to military school.
Where?
Alaska...
I want to know why you claim to be Sigmund Freud.
Why do you claim I'm not Sigmund Freud?
Why do you keep asking me these questions?
Tell me about your mother.
Oh, God. [gets up from his desk]
Would you like a couch to lie on?
No, I don't want a couch to lie on!
Captain Logan All right, what's your name?
Lincoln Abraham Lincoln. That's L-I-N-C-O-L-N.
Captain Logan I know how to spell "Lincoln"! What's your birthday, Mr. Lincoln?
Lincoln February 12, 1809.
Captain Logan All right, lock him up with the rest of those wackos. [the officer ushers Lincoln to his cell]
Lincoln I am a lawyer, you know!
Captain Logan You pack your bags, Ted.
What?
Captain Logan You're going to military school, Ted.
But, Dad...
Captain Logan No, I don't wanna hear it, Ted!
But...
Captain Logan Ted! You go home and you pack your bags NOW! [ushers Ted out of the station]
