So you got a job, where you play with all these toys.
Yup!
And they're gonna pay you for that?
Yup!
SUCKERS!
Young Josh
Tom Hanks · 13 quotes
Billy
Jared Rushton · 5 quotes
Susan
Elizabeth Perkins · 5 quotes
Paul
John Heard · 3 quotes
Most scenes together: Young Josh & Billy (5), Young Josh & Susan (3), Paul & Susan (2)
Big quotes
Page 1 of 2There. Sea Point Park!
Thanks.
See you around.
Later, Josh has run out of a business meeting
Taxi! Sea Point Park, please.
Yes, I am his friend.
I am...his girlfriend.
[Billy looks amazed seeing a full-grown woman who has breasts is his best friend's girl]
His girlfriend?? Whoa!
Computer game
You are standing in the cavern of the evil ice wizard. All around you are the carcasses of slain ice dwarves.
Mrs. Baskin Josh, take out the garbage!
In a minute, Mom! [talking to himself] Melt the wizard. [typing] Melt wizard.
Computer game
What do you want to melt him with?
What do you think I want to use? Throw the thermal pod.
Mrs. Baskin JOSH!! The garbage is starting to stink up the house! Take it out, NOW!!
Mr. Baskin Josh, you heard your mother!
Computer game
[In the computer game, the enemy attacks Josh's avatar by encasing him in a big block of ice]
Your hesitancy has cost you dearly. The wizard, sensing your apprehension, fires a fatal bolt from his ice scepter. With luck, you will thaw in several million years.
Great.
I want a listing of all amusement arcades and carnivals in the tri-state area.
Clerk
Consumer Affairs, down the hall.
Bureaucrat
Fill this out in triplicate, five dollar processing charge.
See, no problem.
Bureaucrat
Standard six-week wait with backlog.
Bureaucrat
Could take longer, but hey, you could get lucky.
[Outside. Josh is sitting on steps staring into space]
I am going to be 30 years old for the rest of my life.
Come on Josh, it is only for six weeks. Besides, you may be even older that that! ha ha!
I'm much better at video hockey.
That's not a sport.
It requires hand and eye coordination.
It's not a sport if you don't sweat.
What about golf? It's a sport and you don't sweat.
It's not a sport if you let a machine do all the work.
What about car racing?
Shut up, Baskin.
Will you please leave? I got a deadline to meet. Gosh.
Who the **** do you think you are?
HEY!
You're Josh Baskin, remember? You broke your arm on my roof! You hid in MY basement when Robert Dyson was about to rip your head off!
You don't get it, do you? This is important!
I'm your best friend. What's more important than that, huh? [Turns to leave] And I'm three months older than you are, ASSHOLE!
Mrs. Baskin [on the phone]
You have my son?
Yes.
Mrs. Baskin Look, if you touch one hair on his head, I swear I will spend the rest of my life making sure you suffer.
Wow, thanks.
Have you tried Mattel?
Yes.
Well, how about Coleco?
Yes, as well as Fisher Price and Worlds of Wonder. None of these places reported ever having a Josh Baskin on their payroll.
Well, he's got to come from somewhere. The guy just does not come into the executive offices out of the blue.
Face it Paul, the man comes from data processing.
It's a mystery.
Milk Carton
[Susan pours milk into her coffee. She has not seen the reverse side, which has a picture of the young Josh]
MISSING: JOSHUA BASKIN
What is so special about Baskin?
He's a grown up.
Scotty Brennen See that girl over there in the red? Say "hi" to her and she's yours. She'll have her legs around you so tight you'll be begging for mercy.
Well, I'll stay away from her, then.
I want to spend the night with you.
Do you mean sleep over?
Well, yeah.
Well, okay, but I get to be on top.
I'm not so sure we should do this.
Do what?
Well, I like you, and I want to spend the night with you.
Do you mean sleep over?
Well, yeah.
Well, okay, but I get to be on top.
Policeman
[Josh has supposedly disappeared. The Baskin residence is covered by squad cars and neighbors have gathered to see the hoopla]
This is one of the oddest missing child cases. His mother is all hysterical; cannot get a word out of her. No sign of forced entry, no ransom note and the only fingerprints we found all belonged to the Baskin family.
Kid #1
Bet he got sick of his parents and ran away. Wish I could do that.
Kid #2
I will help you pack.
My locker combination.
Receptionist
Mr. Baskin?
Remember, Josh, eye contact!
Receptionist
Your son will have to wait out here.
Certainly. OK son, you heard the lady. Don't give anyone a hard time.
Sure thing, "Dad".
[Josh and Billy laugh at their private joke to the odd look of the receptionist]
Office worker
[MacMillian employee is looking over Josh's job application while pen-clicking]
It says you have four years of experience in computers, good. But you are missing a couple of numbers on the social security.
Uh, um, twelve.
Office worker
OK, 1-2. Office worker puts in numbers Where did you go to school?
Hmmm, it was called George Washington.
Office worker
Oh, G.W! My brother-in-law got his doctorate there. Did you pledge?
Yes, every morning.