“Hey, fresh face. You here for the qualifiers?” – Mitch Buchannon, Baywatch ... Movie Quotes Database

Mitch Buchannon: Hey, fresh face. You here for the qualifiers?
Matt Brody: Uh, no, no, I'm not trying out. I'm actually already on the team.
Mitch Buchannon: You're already on this team?
Matt Brody: I'm Matt Brody. Ready for duty.
Mitch Buchannon: "Ready for duty"? Oh, okay. Um, you got any papers or anything like that?
Matt Brody: I do. There you go.
Mitch Buchannon: Oh, it's a permission slip. Literally. "Dear Mitch, I am pleased to write you on behalf of Mr. Matt Brody." Right. Well, no free passes.
Matt Brody: Yeah. Whoa.
Mitch Buchannon: At all. Yeah, 'cause I don't give a shit.
Matt Brody: I legit needed those for my taxes.
Mitch Buchannon: What you need is to understand that if you're going to be on this team, you got to earn it.
Matt Brody: Really?
Mitch Buchannon: Yeah. So, why don't we start this whole thing over, just like gentlemen? Where you from, One Direction?
Matt Brody: Um... Iowa? Iowa? You heard of it?
Mitch Buchannon: Yeah, I know what it is. Hey, Steph.
Stephanie Holden: Hey.
Mitch Buchannon: New Kids on the Block here is from Iowa.
Stephanie Holden: Oh, man.
Mitch Buchannon: And, uh, he says he's already on the team. Yeah. Doesn't have to try out.
Stephanie Holden: Really?
Mitch Buchannon: Yeah, absolutely. Let me ask you this...A lot of oceans in Iowa?
Stephanie Holden: No, just ponds and lakes and cocky pretty boys, apparently.
Mitch Buchannon: Uh-huh. Cocky pretty boys.
Stephanie Holden: Hey, Mitch, what happened to that last pretty boy recruit we had?
Mitch Buchannon: He died.
Stephanie Holden: R.I.P.
Matt Brody: Are you guys being serious right now? I honestly can't tell. You show up here, matching bathing suits. What is this, "lifeguard hazing"? I'm Matt Brody. I hold the world record in the 200 meter. Two gold medals.
Mitch Buchannon: Hey! Matt Brody.
Stephanie Holden: Matt Brody.
Mitch Buchannon: Yes, yes. Absolutely. And we still don't give a ****.
Stephanie Holden: Don't give a ****.
Mitch Buchannon: No, fresh out.
Stephanie Holden: Fresh out of ****s.
Mitch Buchannon: Yeah. Okay, that ocean out there has riptides that'll tear your little mangina in two.
Matt Brody: My mangina? So you are being serious.
Mitch Buchannon: Dead serious, right now, NSYNC, all right? This ain't no little **** pond out of Iowa. So with all due respect, you want to be here on this team, on our team, you're gonna have to earn it.
Matt Brody: Look, I get it. You're big, sasquatch. But I'm fast. Really **** fast. Which is why somebody important thinks I belong here. So when you two figure out who the **** I am, you can find me on the beach. [slaps Mitch's face lightly] See you.
[Matt leaves]
Stephanie Holden: Did that really just happen?
Mitch Buchannon: It did. He slapped me.
Stephanie Holden: Wow.
Mitch Buchannon: Yeah. His hands were soft and supple though, like a woman. No offense.
Stephanie Holden: None taken.

Mitch Buchannon : Hey, fresh face. You here for the qualifiers? Matt Brody : Uh, no, no, I'm not trying out. I'm actually already on the team. Mitch Buchannon : You're already on this team? Matt Brody : I'm Matt Brody. Ready for duty. Mitch Buchannon : "Ready for duty"? Oh, okay. Um, you got any papers or anything like that? Matt Brody : I do. There you go. Mitch Buchannon : Oh, it's a permission slip. Literally. "Dear Mitch, I am pleased to write you on behalf of Mr. Matt Brody." Right. Well, no free passes. Matt Brody : Yeah. Whoa. Mitch Buchannon : At all. Yeah, 'cause I don't give a shit. Matt Brody : I legit needed those for my taxes. Mitch Buchannon : What you need is to understand that if you're going to be on this team, you got to earn it. Matt Brody : Really? Mitch Buchannon : Yeah. So, why don't we start this whole thing over, just like gentlemen? Where you from, One Direction? Matt Brody : Um... Iowa? Iowa? You heard of it? Mitch Buchannon : Yeah, I know what it is. Hey, Steph. Stephanie Holden : Hey. Mitch Buchannon : New Kids on the Block here is from Iowa. Stephanie Holden : Oh, man. Mitch Buchannon : And, uh, he says he's already on the team. Yeah. Doesn't have to try out. Stephanie Holden : Really? Mitch Buchannon : Yeah, absolutely. Let me ask you this...A lot of oceans in Iowa? Stephanie Holden : No, just ponds and lakes and cocky pretty boys, apparently. Mitch Buchannon : Uh-huh. Cocky pretty boys. Stephanie Holden : Hey, Mitch, what happened to that last pretty boy recruit we had? Mitch Buchannon : He died. Stephanie Holden : R.I.P. Matt Brody : Are you guys being serious right now? I honestly can't tell. You show up here, matching bathing suits. What is this, "lifeguard hazing"? I'm Matt Brody. I hold the world record in the 200 meter. Two gold medals. Mitch Buchannon : Hey! Matt Brody. Stephanie Holden : Matt Brody. Mitch Buchannon : Yes, yes. Absolutely. And we still don't give a ****. Stephanie Holden : Don't give a ****. Mitch Buchannon : No, fresh out. Stephanie Holden : Fresh out of ****s. Mitch Buchannon : Yeah. Okay, that ocean out there has riptides that'll tear your little mangina in two. Matt Brody : My mangina? So you are being serious. Mitch Buchannon : Dead serious, right now, NSYNC, all right? This ain't no little **** pond out of Iowa. So with all due respect, you want to be here on this team, on our team, you're gonna have to earn it. Matt Brody : Look, I get it. You're big, sasquatch. But I'm fast. Really **** fast. Which is why somebody important thinks I belong here. So when you two figure out who the **** I am, you can find me on the beach. [slaps Mitch's face lightly] See you. [Matt leaves] Stephanie Holden : Did that really just happen? Mitch Buchannon : It did. He slapped me. Stephanie Holden : Wow. Mitch Buchannon : Yeah. His hands were soft and supple though, like a woman. No offense. Stephanie Holden : None taken.