Colm Doherty

If you don't stop talkin' to me, and if you don't stop botherin' me, or sendin' your sister or your priest to bother me...

Pádraic Súilleabháin

I didn't send me sister to bother you, did I? She has her own mind. Although, I did send the priest though, you have me there.

Colm Doherty

What I've decided to do is this. I have a set of shears at home. And each time you bother me from this day on, I'll take those shears and I'll take one of me fingers off with them. And I'll give that finger to ya. A finger from me left hand. Me fiddle hand. And each day you bother me more, another I'll take off and I'll give ya until you see sense enough to stop. Or until I have no fingers left. Does this make things clearer to ya?

Pádraic Súilleabháin

Not really, no.

Colm Doherty

Because I don't want to hurt your feelings, Padraic. I don't, like. But it feels like the drastic is the only option left open to me.

Pádraic Súilleabháin

You've loads of options left open to ya. How's fingers the first port of call?

Colm Doherty

Please, don't talk to me no more, Padraic. Please. I'm begging you.

Pádraic Súilleabháin

But...

Shush, like, Padraic. Just, you know, shush, like.

Yeah, I'd shush, like.

Pádraic Súilleabháin

I will shush. Except me and me sister were thinking, you might just be a bit depressed, Colm. And I tell you this much, fingers just confirms it. Don't you think, Colm?

Colm Doherty

Starting from now.