Jack Swigert I'm gonna give these guys a beautiful ride.
Played by Kevin Bacon 
Apollo 13 (1995) · 94 quotes
Apollo 13 (1995) · 94 quotes
3rd most-quoted character in Apollo 13 (1995): in 17 of its 94 quotes
Most scenes with: Jim Lovell (8), CAPCOM (6), Fred Haise (4)
I was getting a little punchy and I didn't want to cut the LEM loose with you guys still in it.
More lines from Jack Swigert
5 quotes Jack Swigert Jack Swigert So long, Earth. Catch you on the flip side.
Jack Swigert [looking at the fogged-up instrument panels]
It's like tryin' to drive a toaster through a car wash.
Jack Swigert If this doesn't work, we're not gonna have enough power left to get home.
Jack Swigert [on TV]
When you go into the shadow of the moon and and the moon is between you and the sun, you see stars that are more brilliant than anything you've ever seen on the clearest nights here on Earth. And then you pass into the lunar sunrise over the lunar surface. It must be an awe-inspiring sight. I can't wait to see it myself.
Scenes with Jack Swigert
11 scenes
Jack Swigert We came in too steep. We're dead.
Jack Swigert Uh, well, if anyone from the, uh, from the IRS is watching, I... forgot to file my, my, my 1040 return. Um, I meant to do it today, but, uh...
Jack, you'll be glad to hear that we've contacted President Nixon, and he's going to grant you an extension on your income taxes, since you are most decidedly out of the country.
Jack Swigert [tearful and sleep-deprived]
Roger that, Houston. That's wonderful news.
Jack Swigert I've been going over the numbers again. Have they called up with a reentry plan yet? 'Cause we're coming in too shallow, we're coming in too damn fast.
We're working on something, just hold on.
Jack Swigert Listen, they gave us too much delta vee, they had us burn too long. At this rate, we're going to skip out of the atmosphere and we're never going to get home.
What are you talking about? How'd you figure that?
Jack Swigert I can add.
Jack, They've got half the Ph.D.'s on the planet working on it.
Houston says we're right on the money.
Jack Swigert And what if they had made a mistake and there was no way to correct it, why would they tell us? There's no reason to tell us!
What do you mean they're not going to tell us? That's bullshit!
Now listen, there's a thousand things that have to happen in order. We are on number eight. You're talking about number six hundred and ninety-two.
Jack Swigert And in the meantime, I'm trying to tell you we're coming in too fast. I think they know it, and I think that's why we don't have a God-damned reentry plan.
That's duly noted, thank you Jack.
Jack Swigert [Jack Swigert smacks his head on the L.E.M. ceiling]
OW! God damn this piece of shit!
Hey! This piece of shit's gonna get you home. That's cause that's all we got left, Jack!
Jack Swigert What are you saying, Fred?
I think you know what I'm saying.
Jack Swigert Now wait a minute. All I did was stir those tanks.
What was that gauge reading before you hit the switch?
Jack Swigert Don't tell me how to fly the damn C.M. --
You don't even know, do you!?
Jack Swigert -- they brought me in here to do a job, they asked me to stir the damn tanks and I stirred the tanks!
Jack, stop kicking yourself in the ass.
Jack Swigert This is NOT MY FAULT!
No one is saying it is. If I'm in the left-hand seat when the call comes up, I stir the tanks.
Jack Swigert Yeah, well, tell HIM [Haise] that.
I just asked you what the gauge was reading. And YOU DON'T KNOW!
All right gentlemen, we're not gonna do this. We're not gonna go bouncing off the walls for ten minutes, because we're just gonna end up right back here with the same problems! Try to figure out how to stay alive!
Jack Swigert [Swigert has just successfully powered up the Command Module]
Uplink completed. We got her back up, Ken. Boy, I wish you were here to see it.
I'll bet you do.
Well, between Jack's back taxes and the Fred Haise Show, I'd say that was a pretty successful broadcast.
That was an excellent show, Odyssey.
Jack Swigert Thank you very much, Houston.
We've got a couple of housekeeping procedures for you. We'd like you to roll right to 0-6-0 and null your rates.
Jack Swigert Roger that. Rolling right, 0-6-0. [presses the buttons. The craft begins rolling right]
And if you could give your oxygen tanks a stir.
Jack Swigert Roger that. [flips the switches to activate the tank fans. Suddenly, one tank explodes and the alarm begins buzzing] Hey, we've got a problem here.
What did you do?
Jack Swigert Nothing. I stirred the tanks.
Uh, this is Houston. Say again, please?
Houston, we have a problem.
Okay, Houston, the quad-heater circuit breakers are open.
Copy that.
We'll use the forward omni when the Earth's in the window, and we're switching to aft omni when we see the moon.
We copy that, Thirteen. Aquarius, we don't want you to make any more waste dumps. The venting may push you off course.
Oh, Christ.
Jack Swigert What's up?
No more waste dumps. We're just gonna have to store it. Jack, we're gonna need some more urine bags. Okay, Houston, that leaves us with just the computer, which I'm shutting down now. [shuts off L.E.M. computer] And that's it. We just put Sir Isaac Newton in the driver's seat.
Jack Swigert I've been going over the numbers again. Have they called up with a re-entry plan yet? 'Cause we're coming in too shallow.
We're working on something, Jack. Just hold on.
I can't remember the ratio temperature; we got no references on board.
Well, let's see if Houston can pull up the MIL-SPECs.
Jack Swigert Listen, listen, listen! They gave us too much Delta V, had us burn too long. At this rate, we're gonna skip right off of the atmosphere, and we're never gonna get back!
What are you talking about? How'd you figure that?
Jack Swigert I can add.
Jack, they've got half the Ph.Ds on the planet working on this.
Houston says we're right on the money.
Jack Swigert And what if they have made a mistake, all right, and there was no way to reverse it? You think they would tell us? There's no reason for them to tell us.
What do you mean they're not gonna tell us? That's bullshit!
All right, there's 1,000 things that have to happen in order, we are on #8. You're taking about #692.
Jack Swigert And in the meantime, I'm trying to tell you we're coming in too fast. I think they know it, and I think that's why we don't have a goddamn re-entry plan.
That's duly noted. Thank you, Jack. We agree with that.
Jack Swigert [hits his head on the L.E.M. ceiling]
OW! God damn this piece of shit!
Hey! This piece of shit's gonna get you home. That's 'cause that's the only thing we got left, Jack!
Jack Swigert Now what are you saying, Fred?
Well, I think you know what I'm saying.
Jack Swigert Now wait a minute. All I did was stir those tanks.
What was that gauge reading before you hit the switch?
Jack Swigert Hey, don't tell me how to fly the damn C.M.–
You don't even know, do you?!
Jack Swigert –They brought me in here to do a job, they asked me to stir the damn tanks and I stirred the tanks!
Jack, stop kicking yourself in the ass, all right?
Jack Swigert This is not my fault!
No one is saying it is. If I'm in the left-hand seat when the call comes up, I stir the tanks.
Jack Swigert Yeah, well, tell him that. [points to Haise]
I just asked you what the gauge was reading, and you don't know!
All right, look, we're not doing this, gentlemen, we're not gonna do this. We're not gonna go bouncing off the walls for ten minutes, because we're just gonna end up right back here with the same problems! Try to figure out how to stay alive!
Aquarius, this is Houston.
Are we on VOX?!
No, we're not on VOX.
Yeah, Jim, could you check you check your CO2 gauge for us? [the CO2 warning light blinks on right at that moment]
Yeah, Houston, we were just looking at that. Our CO2 measurement has jumped 4 notches in the last hour.
That can't be right. I went over those numbers three times.
Jim, that sounds about right. We were expecting that.
Well, that's very comforting to know, Houston. What do we do about it.
Jim, we're working on a procedure down here for you. Do you copy?
Oh, Christ.
All right, Houston, we're standing by for those procedures.
Christ, I know why my numbers are wrong. I only figured it for two people.
Jack Swigert [Lovell and Haise look over at Swigert]
Maybe I should just hold my breath.
Jack, you'll be happy to hear that we contacted President Nixon, and he's gonna grant you an extension on your income taxes, since you are... most decidedly out of the country.
Jack Swigert Roger that, Houston. That's wonderful news.
Dr. Chuck Tell them they have to sleep. Haise is running a fever of 104.
Uh, Thirteen. Listen, we've had another request from the Flight Surgeon that you fellas get some more sleep. He doesn't like his readings down here.
[rips off his bio-med sensors]
Let's see how he feels about this. I'm sick and tired of the entire Western world knowing how my kidneys are functioning!
Dr. Chuck [Lovell's readings flatline]
Flight, I just lost Lovell.
Uh, Thirteen. This is Houston. Jim, we just had a drop out on your bio-med sensors.
I'm not wearing my bio-med sensors, Houston.
[Kranz smirks and silently laughs to himself. CAPCOM glances at Kranz, who waves him off, unconcerned]
...Okay, Jim. Copy that.
Dr. Chuck [Lovell looks over at Haise and Swigert, who proceed in turn to remove their bio-med sensors as well]
Flight! Now I'm losing all three of them!
It's just a little medical mutiny, Doc. I'm sure the guys are still with us. Let's cut 'em some slack, okay?
Aquarius, this is Houston.
Houston, Aquarius.
Uh, Jim, we've got another course correction for you.
Jack Swigert What's up?
Something about another course correction.
Uh, We copy, uh, Houston. Be advised, it's gonna take Freddo and I awhile to power up the computer for the, uh, alignment platform if we have to fire the engine.
Uh, negative on that, Jim. We can't spare power for the computer.
We gotta do this blind?
Houston, without the computer, what do we use for orientation?
Come on, we gotta be able to give these guys something up there.
Bill Fenner
Without power, we can't give them a reading.
I'm not talking about power, I'm talking about reference.
Bill Strable
No, no. There's no references. We have a bunch of debris up there...
Houston, what's the story with this burn?
We're trying to hash something out down here, Aquarius. Stand by.
Well, now look, Houston, all we need to hold attitude is one fixed point in space. Is that not correct?
Yeah, roger that, Jim.
Well, Houston, we've got one. If we can keep the Earth in the window, flying manually, the co-ax crosshairs right on its terminator, all I have to know is how long do we need to burn the engine. [under his breath] The shorter the better.
Roger that, Jim.
Glynn Lunney Can they fly it manually? And still shut it down on time without the computer?
I guess that's the best we can do, Glynn. We're out of time.
Other characters in Apollo 13
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Capt. Jack Ross
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Sean Devine
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