CAPCOM
Jack, you'll be glad to hear that we've contacted President Nixon, and he's going to grant you an extension on your income taxes, since you are most decidedly out of the country.
7th most-quoted character in Apollo 13 (1995): in 6 of its 94 quotes
Most scenes with: Jack Swigert (6), Jim Lovell (5), Fred Haise (3)
Scenes with CAPCOM
6 scenes
Well, between Jack's back taxes and the Fred Haise Show, I'd say that was a pretty successful broadcast.
CAPCOM
That was an excellent show, Odyssey.
Thank you very much, Houston.
CAPCOM
We've got a couple of housekeeping procedures for you. We'd like you to roll right to 0-6-0 and null your rates.
Roger that. Rolling right, 0-6-0. [presses the buttons. The craft begins rolling right]
CAPCOM
And if you could give your oxygen tanks a stir.
Roger that. [flips the switches to activate the tank fans. Suddenly, one tank explodes and the alarm begins buzzing] Hey, we've got a problem here.
What did you do?
Nothing. I stirred the tanks.
CAPCOM
Uh, this is Houston. Say again, please?
Houston, we have a problem.
Okay, Houston, the quad-heater circuit breakers are open.
CAPCOM
Copy that.
We'll use the forward omni when the Earth's in the window, and we're switching to aft omni when we see the moon.
CAPCOM
We copy that, Thirteen. Aquarius, we don't want you to make any more waste dumps. The venting may push you off course.
Oh, Christ.
What's up?
No more waste dumps. We're just gonna have to store it. Jack, we're gonna need some more urine bags. Okay, Houston, that leaves us with just the computer, which I'm shutting down now. [shuts off L.E.M. computer] And that's it. We just put Sir Isaac Newton in the driver's seat.
I've been going over the numbers again. Have they called up with a re-entry plan yet? 'Cause we're coming in too shallow.
We're working on something, Jack. Just hold on.
I can't remember the ratio temperature; we got no references on board.
Well, let's see if Houston can pull up the MIL-SPECs.
Listen, listen, listen! They gave us too much Delta V, had us burn too long. At this rate, we're gonna skip right off of the atmosphere, and we're never gonna get back!
What are you talking about? How'd you figure that?
I can add.
Jack, they've got half the Ph.Ds on the planet working on this.
Houston says we're right on the money.
And what if they have made a mistake, all right, and there was no way to reverse it? You think they would tell us? There's no reason for them to tell us.
What do you mean they're not gonna tell us? That's bullshit!
All right, there's 1,000 things that have to happen in order, we are on #8. You're taking about #692.
And in the meantime, I'm trying to tell you we're coming in too fast. I think they know it, and I think that's why we don't have a goddamn re-entry plan.
That's duly noted. Thank you, Jack. We agree with that.
Hey! This piece of shit's gonna get you home. That's 'cause that's the only thing we got left, Jack!
Now what are you saying, Fred?
Well, I think you know what I'm saying.
Now wait a minute. All I did was stir those tanks.
What was that gauge reading before you hit the switch?
Hey, don't tell me how to fly the damn C.M.–
You don't even know, do you?!
–They brought me in here to do a job, they asked me to stir the damn tanks and I stirred the tanks!
Jack, stop kicking yourself in the ass, all right?
This is not my fault!
No one is saying it is. If I'm in the left-hand seat when the call comes up, I stir the tanks.
Yeah, well, tell him that. [points to Haise]
I just asked you what the gauge was reading, and you don't know!
All right, look, we're not doing this, gentlemen, we're not gonna do this. We're not gonna go bouncing off the walls for ten minutes, because we're just gonna end up right back here with the same problems! Try to figure out how to stay alive!
CAPCOM
Aquarius, this is Houston.
Are we on VOX?!
No, we're not on VOX.
CAPCOM
Yeah, Jim, could you check you check your CO2 gauge for us? [the CO2 warning light blinks on right at that moment]
Yeah, Houston, we were just looking at that. Our CO2 measurement has jumped 4 notches in the last hour.
That can't be right. I went over those numbers three times.
CAPCOM
Jim, that sounds about right. We were expecting that.
Well, that's very comforting to know, Houston. What do we do about it.
CAPCOM
Jim, we're working on a procedure down here for you. Do you copy?
Oh, Christ.
All right, Houston, we're standing by for those procedures.
Christ, I know why my numbers are wrong. I only figured it for two people.
CAPCOM
Jack, you'll be happy to hear that we contacted President Nixon, and he's gonna grant you an extension on your income taxes, since you are... most decidedly out of the country.
Roger that, Houston. That's wonderful news.
Dr. Chuck
Tell them they have to sleep. Haise is running a fever of 104.
CAPCOM
Uh, Thirteen. Listen, we've had another request from the Flight Surgeon that you fellas get some more sleep. He doesn't like his readings down here.
[rips off his bio-med sensors]
Let's see how he feels about this. I'm sick and tired of the entire Western world knowing how my kidneys are functioning!
Dr. Chuck
[Lovell's readings flatline]
Flight, I just lost Lovell.
CAPCOM
Uh, Thirteen. This is Houston. Jim, we just had a drop out on your bio-med sensors.
I'm not wearing my bio-med sensors, Houston.
CAPCOM
[Kranz smirks and silently laughs to himself. CAPCOM glances at Kranz, who waves him off, unconcerned]
...Okay, Jim. Copy that.
Dr. Chuck
[Lovell looks over at Haise and Swigert, who proceed in turn to remove their bio-med sensors as well]
Flight! Now I'm losing all three of them!
It's just a little medical mutiny, Doc. I'm sure the guys are still with us. Let's cut 'em some slack, okay?
CAPCOM
Aquarius, this is Houston.
Houston, Aquarius.
CAPCOM
Uh, Jim, we've got another course correction for you.
What's up?
Something about another course correction.
Uh, We copy, uh, Houston. Be advised, it's gonna take Freddo and I awhile to power up the computer for the, uh, alignment platform if we have to fire the engine.
CAPCOM
Uh, negative on that, Jim. We can't spare power for the computer.
We gotta do this blind?
Houston, without the computer, what do we use for orientation?
Come on, we gotta be able to give these guys something up there.
Bill Fenner
Without power, we can't give them a reading.
I'm not talking about power, I'm talking about reference.
Bill Strable
No, no. There's no references. We have a bunch of debris up there...
Houston, what's the story with this burn?
CAPCOM
We're trying to hash something out down here, Aquarius. Stand by.
Well, now look, Houston, all we need to hold attitude is one fixed point in space. Is that not correct?
CAPCOM
Yeah, roger that, Jim.
Well, Houston, we've got one. If we can keep the Earth in the window, flying manually, the co-ax crosshairs right on its terminator, all I have to know is how long do we need to burn the engine. [under his breath] The shorter the better.
CAPCOM
Roger that, Jim.
Glynn Lunney
Can they fly it manually? And still shut it down on time without the computer?
I guess that's the best we can do, Glynn. We're out of time.
