American Pie 2 quotes

49 total quotes

Jim Levenstein
Multiple Characters
Steve Stifler

View Quote Finch: [talking to a picture of Stifler's Mom ] How did you do that magic you did?

View Quote Kevin: So, how are the twig and giggle-berries this morning?
Jim: Oh, very colorful, my dick looks like a paint-by-numbers.
Stifler: Jim, you're the only guy I know whose dick needs an instruction manual.

View Quote Jim: [Noticing the women's natural attraction to Oz] Amazing.
Stifler: Yes. The force is strong in that one.

View Quote [Finch and Stifler's Mom are having sex in her car]
Stifler's Mom: Oh, Finchy, I missed you.
Finch: Oh, Janine, Janine.
Stifler's Mom: Call me "Stifler's Mom".
Finch: Oh-AH! [We hear him having a violent orgasm, setting off the car alarm] Ah! Stifler's Mo-o-o-o-o-m!!

View Quote Michelle: Jim?! holy potatoes!

View Quote [the two "lesbians" are making the guys play with each other, in exchange for the girls playing with each other. Jim and Stifler give each other a split-second long peck on the lips.]
Jim: That counted!
Stifler: That totally counted!
Danielle: That's the way you kiss your mother.
Stifler: [angry whisper to Finch] Don't you say anything!
[later]
[the girls request handjobs: Jim and Finch doing Stifler]
Stifler: It's okay, it's okay. I know what I have to do.
[starts undoing his shorts]
Stifler: I have to keep this party going. I'm taking one for the team.
[Finch and Jim run away]
Jim: Mother of God!
[Stifler runs after them, zipping up his shorts]
Stifler: Come on you pussies, we had 'em!
Finch: I am not touching that!
Jim: Put that thing away Stifler!
Stifler: Why can't you guys be team players, huh? I was the one doing all the sacrificing!

View Quote Jim's Dad: Hey: keep it real, homies.

View Quote Trucker: Squeeze his ass son, you'll like it!

View Quote When a girl tells you how many guys she's slept with, multiply it by three and that's the real number. Didn't you ****ers learn anything in college?

View Quote Michelle: This one time--um, here.

View Quote Stifler: Holy shit dude, I found a dildo! [Stifler runs round the house] Dildo! Dildo! Dildo! Big blue rubber dicks for everyone! The people demand rubber dicks!
Jim: What are you doing?
Stifler: Looking for more lesbian artifacts!
[hands Jim the dildo]
Jim: Where did you get this?
Stifler: Finch's ass.
[later]
[trying to return the dildo Stifler found]
Jim: Which room, man? Which room?
Stifler: I can't remember shit, man, I was too excited! I'm in a lesbian stronghold!

View Quote Finch, fist yourself!

View Quote Sherman: I am the Sherminator, a sophisticated Sex-Robot sent through time to change the future for one lucky lady.
Nadia: I am lucky lady?
Sherman: That's right Nadia, you've been targeted for Shermination. Come with me if you want to live.

View Quote Jim, can't you keep your shirt on? You're scaring the chicks away.

View Quote Ladies, I am down with the funky shit.