Dan Marino Hey Ace, got anymore of that gum?
That's none of your damn business and I'll thank you to stay out of my personal affairs.
Dan Marino You're a weird guy, Ace. Weird guy.
Played by Dan Marino 
Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994) · 36 quotes
Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994) · 36 quotes
Tied for 3rd most-quoted character in Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994): in 3 of its 36 quotes
Most scenes with: Ace Ventura (3)
Scenes with Dan Marino
3 scenes Dan Marino Dan Marino [Lt. Einhorn is pointing a gun at Ace's head] [begging]
Don't kill me! Please! I'll never tell anyone, I swear... [indicates Marino] He's the one you want! Kill him!
Dan Marino No, kill him! He's the detective!
No, kill him! He held the ball wrong, remember?! Come on, look at the guy! [startled at Einhorn shooting into the air]
Marino [to Ace]
Crybaby.
Marino Wimp.
Musclehead.
SHUT UP! I think I'll kill the dolphin first, I wouldn't want you to miss that!
SHOOT HIM! SHOOT HIM!!!!!!
Emilio
Hold your fire! [Melissa drags Emilio into the area with a gun pointed at him] Don't shoot.
Put your guns down or this cop gets it. I mean it! [**** gun and puts it under Emilio's chin]
Emilio
She's not joking!
HE KIDNAPPED SNOWFLAKE! HE KILLED ROGER PODACTER, AND HE WAS JUST ABOUT TO KILL DAN MARINO AND ME!
Oh-ho-HO! Fiction can be fun! But I find the reference section much more enlightening. For instance: if you were to look up professional football's all-time bonehead plays...you might read about a Miami Dolphin kicker named Ray Finkle, who missed a 26-yard field goal in the closing seconds of Super Bowl XVII. [takes deep breath and begins speaking faster] What you WOULDN'T read about is how Ray Finkle lost his mind, was committed to a mental hospital, only to escape and join the police force under the assumed identity of a missing hiker, manipulating his way to the top in a diabolical scheme to get even with Dan Marino whom he blamed for the entire thing! [gasps for air]
Aguado
What the hell are you talking about?
He's lying...SHOOT HIM!
[laughs]
Let's just see who's lying, shall we? Would a real woman have to wear one of these? [pulls on Einhorn's hair, assuming it's a wig] Boy, that's really on there! But tell me this...would a real woman be missing these? [rips open Einhorn's blouse] That kind of surgery can be done over the weekend! But I doubt very much if he could find the time during his... busy schedule...to get rid of big ol' Mr. Knish! [rips Einhorn's skirt off] Heh heh...oh, boy.
Dan Marino Psst, Ace...come here.
Would you excuse me for just one second? [Ace walks over to Marino, who whispers to him] Ladies and gentlemen...my esteemed colleague, Mr. Marino, has just brought some new evidence to my attention. Now, history has certainly shown that even the most intuitive criminal investigator can be wrong from time to time. But if I am mistaken...if the Lieutenant is indeed a woman, as she claims to be...then, my friend, she is suffering from the worst case of hemorrhoids I HAVE EVER SEEN! [Ace grabs Einhorn and spins her around, making everyone gasp in shock] THAT'S WHY ROGER PODACTER IS DEAD! HE FOUND CAPTAIN WINKY!
[Everyone reacts in disgust.]
Goodnight, everybody! You've been a wonderful audience! I'll be here all week. Be sure to tip your waitress.
Finkle
[Finkle picks up a piece of glass]
DIE, ANIMAL BOOOOYYY!!!!!
Finkle
[Ace somersaults Finkle]
No, whoa! Aagh!
[Into the water. After surfacing, Ace grabs her/his hand to find that the championship ring she/he is wearing has a missing gemstone, confirming that she/he is indeed the culprit]
Loser!