Max California quotes from 8mm (1999)

Max California

Oh, he's a lover, man... definitely loves what he does for a living.

Max California

I can hook you up, though. You name the vice I name the price.

Max California

I don't buy it. I don't endorse it. I just point the way.

Max California

He's a producer-slash-director-slash weirdo. He's like the Jim Jarmusch of S & M.

Max California

So you got a wife and a daughter and a nice little yellow house and a dog named 'Shep'. What the hell are you doing here?

Max California

There are some things that you see, and you can't unsee them. Know what I mean?

Max California

Hey! It's like a gas station, you pay before you pump!

Max California

There's things that you're gonna see that, that you can't unsee. They get in your head and they stay there.

Max California:

There's three rules in life: One, there's always a victim; two, don't be it.

Tom Welles:

And three?

Max California:

I forgot what three is.

Max California:

 : [on the porn industry] All I'm saying is... it can get to you.

Tom Welles:

No worries. Thanks for the warning, though.

Max California:

You're welcome. Pops... If you dance with the devil, the devil don't change. The devil changes you.

Tom Welles:

Some of your lyrics?

Max California:

That's cute.

Max California:

Do you get turned on at places like tonight?

Tom Welles:

No, I do not.

Max California:

But you don't exactly get turned off either, do ya? (pause) Devil's changing you already.

Max California:

What is this?

Tom Welles:

Money. People use it to buy goods and services.

Max California:

Can I interest you in a battery-operated vagina?

Tom Welles:

No thank you.

Max California:

Are you sure? I'd hate for you to be in one of those everyday situations that calls for a battery-operated vagina and not have one.

Tom Welles:

What're you reading? [Max California shows book - "Anal Secretary"] Catchy title. What are you really reading? Hard to believe that book's got any parts worth highlighting. [Max California reveals real book - "In Cold Blood"] Capote!

Max California:

Yeah, well. You know how it is.

Tom Welles:

Yeah. Wouldn't want to embarrass yourself in front of your fellow perverts.

Max California:

That's right. I might get drummed out of the Pornographer's Union. Where would I be then?

Max California:

I don't know exactly what you're looking for, but just for the record - I'm straight.

Tom Welles:

Congratulations.

Are you a police officer or in any way affiliated with law enforcement?

Max California:

**** you Larry.

Are you a police officer or in any way affiliated with law enforcement?

Tom Welles:

**** you Larry.

Max California:

Mmm, you're getting the moves.

Max California

All I'm saying is before you know it you're in it. Deep in it.

Tom Welles

Don't worry about me. But thank you.

Max California

Oh, You're welcome. Pops... If you dance with the devil, the devil don't change. The devil changes you.

Tom Welles

Some of your lyrics?

Max California

That's cute.