Doug Holt
[sarcastically]
Every time an Abbott girl get her period, they throw some kind of party!
Most-quoted character in Inventing the Abbotts (1997): in 11 of its 32 quotes
Most scenes with: Pamela Abbott (5), Lloyd Abbott (2)
Scenes with Doug Holt
11 scenes
I'm sorry about your mother.
Doug Holt
[incredulously]
Your sorry?
You didn't know your mother at all if you think someone like me would ever stood a chance with someone like her.
Stop treating me like an Abbott!
Doug Holt
How the hell am I supposed to treat you?
Like you used to; like just plain Pam. And you don't have to say that you're sorry! And don't look at me as though someone just ran over you dog! It's make me want to scream sometimes.
Doug Holt
Either your mad at me because you're mad at me or you're mad at me because you like me, because that's how girls act. I mean... I don't know much but I know that. So, uh, which is it?
Both.
Doug Holt
Backyard nudity is hypocritical. It's insincere. People should do and say exactly what they feel and think and not try to hide things.
Jacey Holt
[Jacey talks about Doug's artificial sideburns.]
You look like a clown. He looks like a clown, mom, and he doesn't even know it. I thought you weren't going to the party.
Doug Holt
I changed my mind.
Doug, you do realize that you maybe the only person in this party with artificial sideburns.
Look, I'm not rich. My father is. And I didn't pick my father. And if I had a choice between having tons of money and having another father, I'd be absolutely delighted to be poor. But unfortunately, life is just not a cafeteria.
Doug Holt
Life is not a cafeteria?
You know what I mean.
That bet was your father's idea. And I never meant your mother any harm. I would have done anything for her, anything. I loved her. So, what do you want?
Doug Holt
I want to find Pam. I want you to tell me where she is.
How can you ever forgive me?
Doug Holt
You always love me no matter what I did, right?
Yeah.
Doug Holt
Maybe that's how I love you. No matter what. It's the best kind of love, you know?
You don't know my father, you don't know how he is about Jacey. He blames him for everything that happened with Eleanor.
Doug Holt
Look, Eleanor flirts with a lot of guys. It's not Jacey's fault you dad kicked her out.
He didn't kick her out, he sent her off to some goddamned nuthouse. He just up and shipped her off to some clinic; she was consigned.
Doug Holt
Wait, I thought you said that she's in Chicago.
Well, she is now, they let her out like a month ago.
Doug Holt
Hey Jacey... Remember the time I got my dick caught in my zipper? Remember in school, in the first grade?