“Here's what you do: you tell her you're a virgin. You test her with...” – Cal, The 40 Year-Old Virgin ... Movie Quotes Database

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A scene from The 40 Year-Old Virgin 2005

Cal

Here's what you do: you tell her you're a virgin. You test her with this shit. Okay? Here, here, tell me. This is how's it gonna go down. Tell me.

Andy

I'm a virgin.

Cal

"Sweet! I like that because you don't have chlamydia, and I know that, and that shit is everywhere."

Andy

What if she laughs at me though?

Cal

Then you punch her in the ****in' head if she laughs!

Andy

I'm not gonna punch her in the head, she's really sweet.

Cal

No, you punch her in the ****in' head emotionally.

In this scene

Andy Brandon Killham More Andy quotes →

Cal Seth Rogen More Cal quotes →

More from The 40 Year-Old Virgin

Jay Dude, are you gay? Andy No, I'm not gay. I've been with tons of women. Cal I touched a guy's balls at Hebrew school once. Jay Dude, it's not a big deal. You like to **** guys. I'm cool. I got friends who **** guys, in jail. Nicky That tasted good! Andy That tasted like shellfish. Jay Wait, how do you know she was a transvestite? Andy Because her hands were as big as Andre The Giant's. And her Adam's apple was as big as her balls. Jay So you have no proof.