Most-quoted character in 24 Hour Party People (2002): in 36 of its 48 quotes
Most scenes with: Rob Gretton (5)
Welcome to the Wheel of Fortune. There it is, the wheel that throughout the centuries has been used as a symbol for the vicissitudes of life. Boethius himself in his great work 'The Consolation of Philosophy' compares history to a great wheel, hoisting us up, then dropping us down again. "Inconsistency is my very essence" -says the wheel- "Raise yourself up on my spokes if you wish, but don't complain when you plunge back down" Now spin the wheel.
Tony Wilson You're going to see a lot more of that sort of thing in the picture. I don't want to say too much, don't want to spoil it. I'll just say one word: 'Icarus'. If you get it, great. If you don't, that's fine too. But you should probably read more.
Tony Wilson I'm being postmodern, before it was fashionable.
Tony Wilson And tonight something equally epoch-making is taking place. See? They're applauding the DJ. Not the music, not the musician, not the creator, but the medium. This is it. The birth of rave culture. The beatification of the beat. The dance age. This is the moment when even the white man starts dancing. Welcome to Manchester.
Tony Wilson I'm a minor character in my own story.
Tony Wilson This scene didn't actually make it to the final cut. I'm sure it'll be on the DVD.
Tony Wilson It was like being on a fantastic fairground ride, centrifugal forces throwing us wider and wider. But it's all right, because there's this brilliant machine at the center that's going to bring us back down to earth. That was Manchester. That is the Hacienda. Now imagine the machine breaks. For a while, it's even better, because you're really flying. but then, you fall, because nobody beats gravity.
Tony Wilson Most of all, I love Manchester. The crumbling warehouses, the railway arches, the cheap abundant drugs. That's what did it in the end. Not the money, not the music, not even the guns. That is my heroic flaw: my excess of civic pride.
Tony Wilson Factory Records are not actually a company. We are an experiment in human nature. You're labouring under the misapprehension that we actually have a deal with, er, with our, our bands. That we have any kind of a contract, er, at all, and I'm afraid we, er, we don't because that's, er, that's the sum total of the paperwork to do with Factory Records, deal with, er, their various bands.
Tony Wilson I have protected myself from ever having to sell out by having nothing to sell out.
Tony Wilson You can't threaten me, Martin. You're a big man, but you're out of shape. Although you could sit on me.
Tony Wilson Energy, energy? Energy is, is, it's nothing more than a lot of new age hokum masquerading as spirituality.
Tony Wilson Every band needs it's own special chemistry. And Bez was a very good chemist.
Tony Wilson I am not a piece of hash. I'm in charge of Factory Records. I think.
Tony Wilson Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's the latest craze sweeping the Pennines. I've got to be honest with you... right now I'd rather be SWEEPING the Pennines.
Tony Wilson You want to be careful with that, Shaun. You could take somebody's eye out.
Tony Wilson Jazz is the last refuge of the untalented. Jazz musicians enjoy themselves more than anyone listening to them does.
Tony Wilson It's not what it looks like, love!
Tony Wilson I love you! [To the prostitute] Don't stop.
Tony Wilson I just got a blowjob. That's full penetration.
Tony Wilson You’re gonna be seeing a lot more of that sort of thing in the film. All of that actually did happen. Obviously, it’s symbolic. It works on both levels. I don’t want to tell you too much, don’t want to spoil the film. But I’ll just say, "Icarus." OK? If you know what I mean, great. If you don’t, doesn’t matter. But you should probably read more.
Tony Wilson I love you! [To the prostitute] Can you finish me off?
Tony Wilson Energy, energy? You don't know what energy is. That is nothing more than a lot of new age hokum masquerading as spirituality.
Tony Wilson They didn't hand out tickets to the Sermon on the Mount. People just turned up, they knew it was a good gig.
Tony Wilson Can I buy you half a lager?
You can buy me a pint.
Tony Wilson Martin, what are you doing?
Recording silence
Tony Wilson You're recording silence?
No, i'm recording Tony **** Wilson!
Tony Wilson What's wrong with London Records?
The name, for a start.
You've dropped a bollock, haven't you?
Tony Wilson Yes, I've dropped a bollock. I've dropped a big massive hairy bollock.
Roger Ames Tony, you're **** mad.
Tony Wilson Well, that is a point of view.
Tony Wilson It's says so in the Bible, though, doesn't it? 'God made man in His own image'.
Yeah - but not a specific man.
Tony Wilson You know, I think Shaun Ryder is on a par with W.B. Yeats as a poet.
Yvette Really?
Tony Wilson Absolutely.
Yvette Well, that is amazing, because everybody else thinks he's a **** idiot.
You know your trouble, Tony? You don't know what you are. You see, I **** know what you are, but you don't know what you are.
Tony Wilson My curiosity's got the better of me, Rob, tell me, what am I?
You're a ****.
Tony Wilson Well, that was something I *did* know, you see, I actually did know that.
Tony Wilson This morning I was doing a story about an elephant being washed by a midget.
Charles He's a dwarf.
Tony Wilson It doesn't matter!
Charles Well, it matters to him.
Ryan Letts There's not calling you the new George Epstein you know.
Tony Wilson Brian Epstein.
Ryan Letts George Epstein, Beatles' manager.
Tony Wilson That's Brian Epstein, dickhead.
Ryan Letts George Epstein.
Tony Wilson It's **** Brian Epstein.
Ryan Letts Brian Martin.
Tony Wilson It's not Brian, it's George Martin.
Ryan Letts Brian Martin, the producer ...
Tony Wilson You're just **** wrong!
Tony Wilson You know broccoli?
Alan Erasmus Broccoli the vegetable?
Tony Wilson It's a little known fact that it was invented by Cubby Broccoli, the producer of the James Bond films.
Ryan Letts Got to stop him singing, Tony.
Tony Wilson It's avant-garde, you wouldn't understand it.
Ryan Letts It's very poor. Very poor.
Tony Wilson It's provocative.
Ryan Letts Provocatively poor. Appallingly poor. They're not calling you the new George Epstein, you know.
Tony Wilson ... It's Brian Epstein.
Ryan Letts George Epstein, The Beatles' manager.
Tony Wilson That's Brian Epstein, you dickhead. It's **** Brian Epstein.
Ryan Letts George Epstein. It's Brian Martin.
Tony Wilson It's George Martin, you knob.
Ryan Letts Brian Martin the producer, George Epstein the, er... manager.
Alan Erasmus Tony, tell him to **** off.
Lindsay Come on, let's sit down...
Tony Wilson You're just **** wrong!
