Steven Wright movie quotes

View Quote Bob: Hey, dogs, you got any edibles? Any nibbley-dibbleys?
Flealick: Eh, we got a carpet here with some nice spaghetti stains.
Nigel: But we can't keep licking the carpet, can we, Alan?
Alan: No, Nigel.

View Quote Bob: All I know is what I see. Tug comes in with the bag, just doin' his job, collectin' stuff, and you barge in here accusacating and making demandments.

View Quote Babe: Open up, please. Open this door.
Zootie: You got a problem, sweetie?
Babe: Um... uh...
Bob: Who is it, honey?
Zootie: It's, uh... kind of a baldy, pinky, whitey thingy.

View Quote You don't think he'll actually get picked, do you?

View Quote Mel: You don't think he'll actually get picked, do you?

View Quote Mel: Let's try this one.
[Gene fails over the yellow power eyes beam explodes. Jailbreak and Hi-5 shrieked.]
Jailbreak and Hi-5: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!
Gene: Jailbreak, hello? Hello, Jailbreak?
Jailbreak: Oh. Uh, sorry.
Mary: YouTube?

View Quote Speed: I think I pulled a muscle.
Jean-Bob: I'm gonna die! I know it! I'm on a mission with a lame turtle!

View Quote Puffin: Me name is Puffin. Lt. Puffin.
Odette: It's a pleasure, Lt. Puffin. I'm Odette. Princess Odette. [Puffin kisses her hand] And these are my best friends in the whole world: Mr. Lorenzo Trudgealong...
Speed: Friends call me Speed.
Odette: ...and Jean-Bob.
Jean-Bob: I have no friends. Only servants. And they call me "your highness".
Speed: [whispers to Puffin] Thinks he's a prince.

View Quote Odette: You're being sneaky again, Jean-Bob!
Jean-Bob: What sneaky? You deserve a nice bouquet!
Odette: And you deserve a kiss.
Jean-Bob: Well, all right! [puckers up]
Odette: You know I'm under a spell!
Jean-Bob: But my kiss would break ze spell!
Speed: Give it up, Jean-Bob.
Odette: I can only kiss the man I love, and then he...
Jean-Bob: Must make a vow of "everlasting love". I know - !
Odette: And prove it to the world!
Jean-Bob: WHAT do you think I was doing with ze flowers and ze alligators going "CHOMP CHOMP"?
Odette: Speed, make him understand.
Speed: I'm only a turtle.