Bob Balaban movie quotes

View Quote Laughlin: [to Walsh] We didn't choose this place! We didn't choose these people! They were invited!
Lacombe: They belong here more than we!

View Quote Specialist: Give her six quavers, then pause.
Technician: She sent us four quavers, a group of five quavers, a group of four semi-quavers...
Walsh: What are we saying to each other?
Laughlin: It seems they're trying to teach us a basic tonal vocabulary.
Specialist: It's the first day of school, fellas. Take everything from the lady. Follow her pattern note for note.

View Quote Laughlin: Excuse me.Before I got paid to, uh, speak French, I, uh, I used to read maps. This first number is a longitude...Two sets of three numbers. Degrees, minutes, and seconds. The first number has three digits and the last two are below sixty. Obviously, it's not in the right ascension and declination on the sky. These have to be earth coordinates.
Specialist: Surely, somebody has a map...There's a globe in the county supervisor's office.

View Quote Whether we are based on carbon or silicon makes no fundamental difference. We should each be treated with appropriate respect.

View Quote HAL was told to lie - by people who find it easy to lie. HAL doesn't know how.

View Quote SAL-9000: Will I dream?
Dr. Chandra: Of course you will. All intelligent beings dream. Nobody knows why. Perhaps you will dream of HAL... just as I often do.

View Quote [after seeing Nutmeg] How's she keep her fur so clean? There's no shampoo on Trash Island.

View Quote Well, I understood that. [to the four dogs] Sit down.

View Quote I starred in twenty-two consecutive Doggy Chop commercials. Look at me now, I couldn't land an audition.

View Quote There is no originality left in the world, Mr. Heep — that is a sad fact I have come to live with.

View Quote Last words before being killed by the scrunt

View Quote A dog inside the building. Go! Shoo! … Why you're not a dog at all. … Oh, my god, this is like a moment from a horror movie. … This is precisely the moment where the mutation or beast will attempt to kill an unlikable side character. But, in stories where there has been no prior cursing, violence, nudity or death, such as in a family film, the unlikable character will escape his encounter, and be referenced later in the story, having learned valuable lessons. He may even be given a humorous moment to allow the audience to feel good about him. This is where I turn to run. You will leap for me, I will shut the door, and you will land a fraction of a second too late.

View Quote Bernie Nayman: It burns my ass to write you a check every week. That's an issue.
Jerry: I can explain what happened.
Bernie Nayman: You say to people "I can explain what happened" when it's a once in a while, blue moon thing.
Bobby Victory: It's every time with you, Jerry.
Bernie Nayman: It's every **** time.

View Quote Jerry: Oh, Ok, I was under the impression, with Margolese getting out of jail and all, that the last job, was my last job.
Bernie Nayman: You **** up that job.
Bobby Victory: You **** up that job, Jerry.
Bernie Nayman: Yeah, this job, will be your last job.

View Quote Bernie Nayman: Jerry, You're a **** moron. Here are your options: Number 1, I roll you up to the neck in a carpet, stuff you into the back of a sedan, and light you on fire with gasoline. You with me? Choice one.
Jerry: Yeah.
Bernie Nayman: Number 2, You like sex and travel? What, you like to have sex, you like to travel? You get you ass on a flight to Mexico. All the ten dollar hookers you can shake your stick at. You pick up a pistol that belongs to Margolese. What's it going to be?