Transformers (2007)

Transformers (2007) quotes

197 total quotes (ID: 592)

Bobby Bolivia
Capt. William Lennox
Frenzy
Glen Whitmann
Jazz
Judy Witwicky
Maggie Madsen
Megatron
Mikaela Banes
Multiple Characters
Optimus Prime
Ron Witwicky
Sam Witwicky
Secretary of Defense John Keller
Sgt. Robert Epps


[The Autobots meet Sam and Mikaela in an alley]
Optimus Prime: Are you Samuel James Witwicky, descendant of Archibald Witwicky?
Mikaela Banes: [stunned] They know your name!
Sam Witwicky: Yeah.
Optimus Prime: My name is Optimus Prime. We are Autonomous Robotic Organisms from the planet Cybetron.
Ratchet: But you can call us "Autobots" for short.
Sam Witwicky: Autobots.
Jazz: What's crackin', little bitches? [does a somersault]
Optimus Prime: My first lieutenant. Designation: Jazz.
Jazz: This looks like a cool place to kick it! [jumps onto a car behind him as if it were a chair]
Sam Witwicky: What is that? How did he learn to talk like that?
Optimus Prime: We've learned Earth's languages through the World Wide Web. [points to Ironhide] My weapons specialist, Ironhide.
Ironhide: [brandishing his weapons] You feeling lucky, punk?
Optimus Prime: Easy, Ironhide.
Ironhide: Just kidding, I just wanted to show him my cannons.
Optimus Prime: Our medical officer, Ratchet.
Ratchet: [sniffing] The boy's pheromone levels suggest he wants to mate with the female.
[Mikaela scratches her head in embarassment - Sam whistles]
Optimus Prime: You already know your guardian, Bumblebee.
Bumblebee: [does a little dance] Check to the rep/Yep, second to none.
Sam Witwicky: Bumblebee, right? You're my guardian, huh? [Bumblebee nods]
Ratchet: His vocal processors were damaged in battle. I'm still working on them.
Mikaela Banes: Why are you here?
Optimus Prime: We are here looking for the All Spark, and we must find it before Megatron.
Sam Witwicky: Mega-what?
Optimus Prime: [produces a hologram of Cybertron for Sam and Mikaela to see] Our planet was once a powerful empire, peaceful and just, until we were betrayed by Megatron, leader of the Decepticons. All who defied them were destroyed. Our war finally consumed the planet, and the Allspark was lost to the stars. Megatron followed it to Earth, where Captain Witwicky found him.
Sam Witwicky: My grandfather...?
Optimus Prime: It was an accident that intertwined our fates. [flashbacks to Archibald's discovery of Megatron in the ice] Megatron crash-landed before he could retreive the Cube. He accidentally activated his navigation system. The coordinates to the Cube's location on Earth were inprinted on his glasses.
Sam Witwicky: How did you know about his glasses?
Optimus Prime: eBay.
Sam Witwicky: eBay...
Ratchet: If the Decepticons find the Allspark, they'll use its power to transform Earth's machines, and build a new army.
Optimus Prime: And the human race will be extinguished. Sam Witwicky, you hold the key to Earth's survival.
Mikaela Banes: [to Sam] Please tell me you have those glasses.


[Barricade transforms right in front of Sam]
Sam Witwicky: Oh God, NO!!! [Barricade chases him] Oh shit, oh shit, oh God, OH SHIT!!! It's a bad dream!
Barricade: [quickly and ferociously] Are you username: LadiesMan217?!
Sam Witwicky: I don't know what you're talking about!
Barricade: ARE YOU USERNAME: LADIESMAN217?!!
Sam Witwicky: Yeah.
Barricade: Where is the eBay Item 21153?!
Sam Witwicky: What?
Barricade: WHERE ARE THE GLASSES?!!

Agent Simmons: All right, you've all had direct contact with the NBEs...
Tech Sgt. Epps: [confused] NBEs?
Agent Simmons: Non-Biological Extraterrestrials. Try to keep up with the acronyms.
Tom Banachek: What you're about to see is totally classified... [Megatron is revealed]
John Keller: [awestruck] Dear God, what is that?
Tom Banachek: We think that when he made his approach over the North Pole, our gravitational field screwed up his telemetry and crashed into the ice, probably a few thousand years age. We shipped him here to this facility in 1934.
Agent Simmons: We call him NBE-1.
Sam Witwicky: I don't mean to correct you on all that you think you know, but that's Megatron. He's the leader of the Decepticons.
Tom Banachek: He's been in cryo-stasis since 1935. Your great-great-grandfather made one of the greatest discoveries in the history of mankind.
Agent Simmons: Fact is, you're looking at the source of the modern age. The microchip, lasers, cars, space flight: all reverse-engineered by studying him. [sneers at Sam] NBE-1, that's what we call it!
John Keller: And you didn't think the United States Military might need to know that you're keeping a hostile alien robot frozen in the basement?
Agent Simmons: Until these events, we had no credible threats to national security.
John Keller: Well, you got one now!

Chief Warrant Officer Jorge "Fig" Figueroa: After sixteen months of this…can't wait to have a taste of home. A plate of mama's alligators etouff?.
USAF Tech Sgt. Robert Epps: You've been talking about barbecued 'gators and crickets for the past few weeks. I'm never going to your mother's house Fig, I promise you!
CWO Figueroa: Bobby, alligators are known to have the most succulent meat.
Tech Sgt. Epps: I understand.
[Figueroa goes into rapid Spanish, while Epps mimics him]
Tech Sgt. Epps: English. English, please.
Capt. William Lennox: I mean, how many times do we have to tell you? We don't speak Spanish.
CWO Figueroa: Why d'you have to ruin it for me, man? It's my heritage— [lapses back into Spanish]
Capt. Lennox: Fine…go with the Spanish.
Sergeant First Class Donnelly: Hey, remember weekends? The Sox at Fenway; a cold hot dog and a flat beer.
CWO Figueroa: Perfect day. [to Lennox] What about you, Captain? You got a perfect day?
Capt. Lennox: I just want to hold my baby girl for the first time.
[The other soldiers respond with gently-mocking "awwws" and "he's adorable"]
Capt. Lennox: Shut up!

[Glen has just eaten a whole plateful of donuts]
Glen Whitmann: Ok, Maggie, look. Let me break it down to you how it's going to happen. They're going to come through that door, be good-cop, bad-cop. Don't fall for that, all right? That's why I ate their food. See, they put the plate of donuts out here to test your guilt. If you don't touch it, you're guilty. I ate the whole plate—the whole plate, okay? So me and you, they walk through that door, you don't say nothing. [door opens and agents come in and surround them; as soon an agent drops a folder of papers on the folder, Glen jumps up and points to Maggie] SHE DID IT!!! She did it, she's the one you want! I was just sitting at home, watching cartoons and playing video games with my cousin, then she came in there!
Maggie Madsen: [in anger] Glen, you freak!
Glen Whitmann: Hey, I am not going to jail for you, or anybody else! I have done nothing bad my entire life! Hey man, I’m still a virgin! Okay, so I downloaded a couple of thousand songs off the internet. Who hasn't? Who hasn't?!
Maggie Madsen: Glen, shut up!
Glen Whitmann: No, you shut up! Don't talk to me! Don't talk to me, criminal! [suddenly clutches his stomach] Ooh... sugar rush...

Sam Witwicky: [about Bumblebee] I don't think it wants to hurt us. He would've done that already.
Mikaela Banes: Really? Well, do you speak robot? Because they just had, like, a giant droid death match.
Sam Witwicky: [gets closer to Bumblebee] I think it wants something from me.
Mikaela Banes: What?
Sam Witwicky: Well 'cause the other one was talking about my eBay page.
Mikaela Banes: You are the strangest boy I have ever met.
Sam Witwicky: [looking up at Bumblebee] Can you talk?
Bumblebee: [through his radio] XM Satellite Radio... Digital cable brings you... Columbia Broadcasting System.
Sam Witwicky: You can... you can talk through the radio?
Bumblebee: [clapping his hands] Thank you, you're beautiful. You're wonderful, you're wonderful.
Sam Witwicky: So, what was that last night? What was that?
Bumblebee: [pointing skywards] Message from Starfleet, Captain... Throughout the innate vastness of space... Angels rain down like visitors from heaven! Hallelujah!
Mikaela Banes: Visitors from heaven... What? What are you, like, an alien or something?
[Bumblebee points a finger at her and nods, and transforms into a 1976 Camero]
Bumblebee: [through his radio] Any more questions you want to ask?
Sam Witwicky: He wants us to get in the car.
Mikaela Banes: [laughing nervously] And go where?
Sam Witwicky: Fifty years from now, when you're looking back at your life, don't you want to be able to say you had the guts to get in the car?

Optimus Prime: Sam, you risked your life to protect the Cube?
Sam Witwicky: No sacrifice, no victory.
Optimus Prime: If I cannot defeat Megatron, you must push the Cube into my chest. I will sacrifice myself to destroy it. Get behind me. [Sam does so] It's you and me, Megatron!
Megatron: No, it's just me, Prime!
Optimus Prime: At the end of this day, one shall stand... one shall fall!
Megatron: You still fight for the weak! That is why you lose!

Agent Reggie Simmons: Ronald Wikity?
Ron Witwicky: It's "Witwicky". Who are you?
Agent Simmons: [shows badge] We're the government. Sector 7.
Ron Witwicky: Never heard of it.
Agent Simmons: Never will. Your son is the great-grandson of Archibald Wikity, is he not?
Ron Witwicky: It's "Witwicky"!
Agent Simmons: [steps through the door] May we enter the premises, sir?
Judy Witwicky: Ron, there's guys all over the front yard!
Ron Witwicky: What the heck is going on here?!
Agent Simmons: Your son filed a stolen car report last night. We think he may be involved in a National Security matter.
Ron Witwicky: National Security?
Agent Simmons: That's right, National Security.

Ratchet: [scanning Sam's body] The boy's pheromone levels suggest he wants to mate with the female.

USMC Colonel Sharp: MH-53 pilot, power down now! [Armed soldiers quickly surround the helicopter (Blackout)] Have your crew step out, or we will kill you! [Blackout transforms and attacks] My God...!

[Epps and Glen stare at the gashes in the Allspark chamber]
Tech Sgt. Epps: Whoa. Has Freddy Krueger been in here?
Glen Whitmann: Naw, man! Freddy Krueger's got four blades, that's only three! That's Wolverine! [growls and laughs] Right, that's Wolverine? [Epps looks very unimpressed]
Agent Simmons: That's very funny. [Glenn falls slient, offended] Does anyone have any mechanical devices? BlackBerry, key alarm, cell phone?
Glen Whitmann: I got a phone. [hands it to Simmons]
Agent Simmons: Nokias are real nasty. You gotta respect the Japanese; they know the way of the Samurai.
Maggie Madsen: Nokia's from Finland.
John Keller: Yes, but he's, uh... [quietly] you know, strange. He's a little strange.
[Simmons flips a switch, shooting electricity into the box; the cellphone transforms into a well-armed miniature robot that starts shooting at the box with a gatling gun]
Agent Simmons: We're able to harness the Cube's radiation and funnel it into that box. Mean little sucker, huh?
Maggie Madsen: That thing is freaky!
Agent Simmons: Kinda like the itty-bitty Energizer Bunny from Hell, huh?!

Agent Simmons: Hey kid, I think we got off to a bad start, huh? You must be hungry. You want a latte, ho-ho, double vente machiatto...
Sam Witwicky: Where's my car?
Tom Banachek: Son, I need you to listen to me very carefully. People can die here. We need to know everything you know and we need to know it now.
Sam Witwicky: Okay, but first I want my car, my parents - maybe you could write that down. Oh, and [looks at Mikaela] her juvy record, that's gotta be gone - like forever.
Tom Banachek: Come with me, we'll talk about your car.
Mikaela Banes: [to Sam] Thank you.
Agent Simmons: [forcing a smile] The man's an extortionist.

[Frenzy has infiltrated Sector 7's bunker where the Allspark is located - all are speaking in Cybertronian]
Frenzy: Allspark located.
Starscream: This is Starscream. All Decepticons, mobilize.
Barricade: Barricade en-route.
Devastator: Devastator reporting.
Bonecrusher: Bonecrusher rolling.
Blackout: Blackout incoming. All hail Megatron!

[Mojo, Sam's dog, has just peed on Ironhide's foot]
Sam Witwicky: Mojo! Mojo! Off the robot!
Ironhide: You have a rodent infestation. Shall I terminate it?
Sam Witwicky: No! No! This is a Chihuahua. We all love Chihuahuas.
Ironhide: He's leaked lubricant all over my foot!
Sam Witwicky: He—you mean he peed on you? [to Mojo] Bad Mojo! Bad Mojo!
Ironhide: Bad Mojo!
Sam Witwicky: I'm sorry, it's a male dominance thing, that's all...
Ironhide: Hugghh... My foot's gonna rust.

Fat Guy With Camera: [when Ratchet's protoform hits the ground] This is the coolest thing I've ever seen—explosions everywhere; this is easily a hundred times cooler than Armageddon, I swear to God!!