Old School

Old School quotes

102 total quotes (ID: 429)

Bernard 'Beanie' Campbell
Frank 'The Tank' Ricard
Garry, the Oral Sex Instructor
Mitch Martin
Multiple Characters


Peppers: She's a beauty, ain't she?
Frank: Yeah, what kind of gun is this?
Peppers: It's a tranquilizer gun. If any of these little ****ers decide to freak out on the kids, I get to take them down. Ain't that right? [yanks on the mule's reigns] Oh, what? That's what I thought. Shut up.
[Frank ****s the gun]
Peppers: Hey, hey. Careful with that. That's the most powerful tranq gun on the market. Got her in Mexico.
Frank: Cool.
Peppers: Yeah, it is cool. They say it can puncture the skin of a rhino from...
[Frank shoots himself in the neck with the dart]
Peppers: YES! That's awesome!
Frank: What?
Peppers: You just took one in the jugular, man.
Frank: What? I did? [feeling his neck]
Peppers: YES!
Frank: Oh my god. Is this bad? Is this bad?
Peppers: You better pull that shit out man. That shit is not cool.
Frank: Wait. Wait? Pull what out?
Peppers: You got a ****ing dart in your neck man.
Frank: [laughing] You're... you're crazy man. I like you, but you're crazy.


Mitch: So what are you? Campus security?
Dean Pritchard: Try again.
Beanie: Jehovah's Witness?
Dean Pritchard: I'm the Dean. Dean Pritchard.
...
Mitch: Wow. Cheese. Is that you?
Dean Pritchard: Hello, Mitch. Bernard. I see you guys haven't changed much.
Beanie: Who's this guy?
Mitch: Beanie, you remember Cheese, Rodney's kid brother?
Dean Pritchard: Actually, my name's not Cheese anymore. It's Gordon Pritchard.
Beanie: Oh yeah. Cheeeeeese. Yeah, didn't we lock you in a dumpster one time?
Dean Pritchard: Yea, I got out.
Beanie: Cool man. Good. Glad you did.

Wedding Singer: [singing] ****in' every now and then I fall apart and I need you now tonight. I ****in' need you more than ever.

[Trying to talk over party noise.] Actually we've got a nice little Saturday planned. We're going to Home Depot to pick out some wallpaper, then maybe we'll hit Bed Bath and Beyond... I don't know! I don't know if we'll have enough time!

Alright, let me be the first to say congratulations to you man; you have one vagina for the rest of your life. Real smart Frankie. Way to think it through.

Mitch: I've had a hell of a day and even worse week. And all I want to do is get some ****ing sleep.
Beanie: I...I don't know why you gotta do it...in front of the kid, with the f'in. All you gotta do is say earmuffs to him, [to kid] "earmuffs", and you can say "****, shit, bitch"...whatever you want.
Frank: ****. Balls.
Beanie: OK. I'm just proving a point. You don't have to celebrate it, Frank.

Yeah, that's it. I got a student alt rock band coming on next. Mitch, I own six speaker cities. I am worth three a half million dollars that the government knows about, and I can barely read. I can't. I got more electronics up there than a damn KISS concert. You think I'm gonna roll out this type of red carpet for a ****ing marching band? Just make sure you can see the stage.

Mitch: Sorry, your seatbelt seems to be broken. What do you recommend I do?
Cab Driver: I recommend you stop being such a ****. You're in the backseat.

Therapist: Frank, this is a safe place. A place where we can feel free sharing our feelings. Think of my office as a nest in a tree of trust and understanding. We can say anything here.
Frank: Anything? Well, uh I guess I, deep down, am feeling a little confused. I mean, suddenly, you get married, and you're supposed to be this entirely different guy. I don't feel different. I mean, take yesterday for example. We were out at the Olive Garden for dinner, which was lovely. And uh, I happen to look over at a certain point during the meal and see a waitress taking an order, and I found myself wondering what color her underpants might be. Her panties. Uh, odds are they are probably basic white, cotton, underpants. But I started thinking maybe they're silk panties, maybe it's a thong. Maybe it's something really cool that I don't even know about. You know, and uh, and I started feeling... what? what I thought we were in the trust tree, in the nest, are we not?

Marissa: That's really, loud.
Frank: Yeah, thanks. Took the restrictor plate off, thought I'd give the Red Dragon a little more juice, but lets keep that on the downlow, she's not exactly street-legal [waving to a neighbor] Hey Mike!

Frank: I had an awesome time!
Beanie: Frank, I know that you had an awesome time. I think the entire town knows you had an awesome time. I'm trying to ask our friend Mitch if he had a good time.

[Voiceover.] Dear Mitch, if you're holding this letter you already know. The house has been boarded up. The doors. The windows. Everything. We're at the Comfort Inn. Room 112. I love you. Frank

[Leaving a message] I'll be in the neighborhood later on, and I was wondering if maybe you wanted to get some frozen yogurt, or perhaps a whole meal of food, if that would be agreeable. Damnit. [Calls back] This is Frank Ricard...

Mark: [after being caught with another woman] What are you gonna do? Tell on me? You know you can't buddy. It's guy code. That's something chicks do. You're not a chick are you? Ok. Good talk. I'll see you out there.

[Funnels a beer.] Fill it up again! Fill it up again! Once it hits your lips, it's so good!