Mitch Martin quotes

True love is hard to find, sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a goddamn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend...

At this point, you might be asking yourself, 'why am I holding this 30lb. Cinder block in my hands? You might also ask yourself, 'why does this cinder block have a long piece of string tied to it? And finally, why is the other end of this string tied securely to your penis?

All I want to do is get some ****ing sleep.

This is my house. I live here, Beanie. I'm 30 years old. None of us are enrolled in the college.

Denver? The sunshine state? Gorgeous!

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