Old School quotes

102 total quotes

Bernard 'Beanie' Campbell
Frank 'The Tank' Ricard
Garry, the Oral Sex Instructor
Mitch Martin
Multiple Characters

View Quote Mark: [after being caught with another woman] What are you gonna do? Tell on me? You know you can't buddy. It's guy code. That's something chicks do. You're not a chick are you? Ok. Good talk. I'll see you out there.

View Quote True love is hard to find, sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a goddamn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend...

View Quote Mitch: Who's this guy?
Beanie: Oh, that's Blue. He's an old navy vet who hangs around my store a lot. Don't worry about him, he's legit.
Mitch: He looks like he's one hundred years old and he wants to pledge?
Beanie: You kidding me? Old man river can't shut up about it.

View Quote Jerry: What will you have to do with the university?
Beanie: Legally speaking there will be a loose affiliation. But, we will give nothing back to the academic community. As well as provide no public service of any kind. This much I promise you.

View Quote Marissa: Listen, I'm sorry I didn't call you on your birthday.
Frank: My birthday? What do you mean?
Marissa: Yeah, last Thursday. Oh, you forgot your birthday, didn't you, Frank?
Frank: Damn it. I'm such an idiot.

View Quote [Sitting naked in the car.] Hey honey! Do you think KFC's still open?

View Quote Wedding Singer: [singing] ****in' every now and then I fall apart and I need you now tonight. I ****in' need you more than ever.

View Quote Weensie: [after learning he's going to be expelled] Listen, this is a serious situation. I mean, I'm kicked out of school. I don't know what I'm gonna do, man. My mom's gonna kill me.
Mitch: C'mon, she's not gonna kill you.
Weensie: Yes she is. See, I'm the first one to go to college in my family and when I left she said, "Weensie, if you screw this up, I'll kill you." She showed me the knife.

View Quote Denver? The sunshine state? Gorgeous!

View Quote Guys this is a very special occasion. The Godfather himself has decided to grace us with his presence. This is his damn house. He sleeps twenty feet away.

View Quote No, it's cool, it's cool, it's cool...bring-bring your green hat, let's go! [at the same party, to one of Snoop's entourage wearing a green hat]

View Quote Frank: Blue, how come there's no ice in my lemonade?
[throws the lemonade into the pool]
Blue: Sorry, sir.
Frank: Drop down and give me ten. Now!
Blue: [bends down into a push-up position] Yes, sir.

View Quote Beanie: Spanish what the hell are you doing?
Spanish: I'm just going to get some water. This suit is crazy hot, yo.
Beanie: Put your head back on. That can be very traumatic for the kids.
Spanish: You're right, I'm sorry, sir.
Beanie: Don't sorry me, babe. And shake the tail when you walk. You're better than that.

View Quote You know I was thinking we could go back home...have some dinner and pop in the Sisqo CD...no? Weren't thinking that? Ok.

View Quote Frank: I had an awesome time!
Beanie: Frank, I know that you had an awesome time. I think the entire town knows you had an awesome time. I'm trying to ask our friend Mitch if he had a good time.