Old School quotes

View Quote Waiter: You are beautiful. But no offense, he, he is the king. You are having coffee and pie with a living legend.

View Quote Wedding Singer: [singing] ****in' every now and then I fall apart and I need you now tonight. I ****in' need you more than ever.

View Quote Mark: [to little girl] This is yesterday's paper. When are you going to use your goddamn brains for once in your life? Hello. What are you ****ed?

View Quote Mark: [after being caught with another woman] What are you gonna do? Tell on me? You know you can't buddy. It's guy code. That's something chicks do. You're not a chick are you? Ok. Good talk. I'll see you out there.

View Quote Booker: We've been waiting all semester for you to ask us.

View Quote Dean Pritchard: I'm sorry is that funny? Are you a standup comic, is that what you do now? This is me leaving. This is me leaving.

View Quote Jerry: What will you have to do with the university?
Beanie: Legally speaking there will be a loose affiliation. But, we will give nothing back to the academic community. As well as provide no public service of any kind. This much I promise you.

View Quote Mitch: Who's this guy?
Beanie: Oh, that's Blue. He's an old navy vet who hangs around my store a lot. Don't worry about him, he's legit.
Mitch: He looks like he's one hundred years old and he wants to pledge?
Beanie: You kidding me? Old man river can't shut up about it.

View Quote Mitch: Sorry, your seatbelt seems to be broken. What do you recommend I do?
Cab Driver: I recommend you stop being such a ****. You're in the backseat.

View Quote Woman: [holding a grocery bag] What are you doing?
Frank: You tell anyone about this and I'll ****ing kill you. I'm kidding, I'm kidding, we'll have him home by midnight. [reaches into the grocery bag and takes out cheese balls]

View Quote Spanish: Damn, I gonna end up workin' at Red Lobster.
Frat Brother: You already work at Red Lobster.
Spanish: Yea, part time... dick.

View Quote Therapist: Frank, this is a safe place. A place where we can feel free sharing our feelings. Think of my office as a nest in a tree of trust and understanding. We can say anything here.
Frank: Anything? Well, uh I guess I, deep down, am feeling a little confused. I mean, suddenly, you get married, and you're supposed to be this entirely different guy. I don't feel different. I mean, take yesterday for example. We were out at the Olive Garden for dinner, which was lovely. And uh, I happen to look over at a certain point during the meal and see a waitress taking an order, and I found myself wondering what color her underpants might be. Her panties. Uh, odds are they are probably basic white, cotton, underpants. But I started thinking maybe they're silk panties, maybe it's a thong. Maybe it's something really cool that I don't even know about. You know, and uh, and I started feeling... what? what I thought we were in the trust tree, in the nest, are we not?

View Quote Frank: I told my wife I wouldn't drink tonight. Besides, I got a big day tomorrow. You guys have a great time.
College Student: A big day? Doing what?
Frank: Well, um, actually a pretty nice little Saturday, we're going to go to Home Depot. Yeah, get some wallpaper, maybe get some flooring, stuff like that. Maybe Bed, Bath, & Beyond,[then very excited] I don't know, I don't know if we'll have enough time!

View Quote Mitch: I've had a hell of a day and even worse week. And all I want to do is get some ****ing sleep.
Beanie: I...I don't know why you gotta do it...in front of the kid, with the f'in. All you gotta do is say earmuffs to him, [to kid] "earmuffs", and you can say "****, shit, bitch"...whatever you want.
Frank: ****. Balls.
Beanie: OK. I'm just proving a point. You don't have to celebrate it, Frank.

View Quote Frank: Blue, how come there's no ice in my lemonade?
[throws the lemonade into the pool]
Blue: Sorry, sir.
Frank: Drop down and give me ten. Now!
Blue: [bends down into a push-up position] Yes, sir.