Old School

Old School quotes

102 total quotes (ID: 429)

Bernard 'Beanie' Campbell
Frank 'The Tank' Ricard
Garry, the Oral Sex Instructor
Mitch Martin
Multiple Characters


He left me with a little something called herpes. Which I then gave to the dog. But that's neither here nor there.


When I get back I'm going to show you something I like to call crouching tiger, hidden penis. [takes a drink of the water] You know I really liked that movie, 'cause of all the flying and the magic.

Oh, that's funny to you? You won't be laughing when someone prematurely pops in your face. It stings. And that is now why I have a lazy eye.

You can use a little teeth but we don't want to be a biter. Now ladies these carrots are not gonna ejaculate themselves. Get into it!

Ok ladies, the secret to a good BJ is focus. I don't care if we're talking about your husband of ten years or some hot sailor you met at TGI Fridays, who didn't call me back..

Gordon Pritchard: Half these guys don't even go here and that one guy is like ninety.

True love is hard to find, sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a goddamn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend...

At this point, you might be asking yourself, 'why am I holding this 30lb. Cinder block in my hands? You might also ask yourself, 'why does this cinder block have a long piece of string tied to it? And finally, why is the other end of this string tied securely to your penis?

All I want to do is get some ****ing sleep.

This is my house. I live here, Beanie. I'm 30 years old. None of us are enrolled in the college.

Denver? The sunshine state? Gorgeous!

[Leaving a message] I'll be in the neighborhood later on, and I was wondering if maybe you wanted to get some frozen yogurt, or perhaps a whole meal of food, if that would be agreeable. Damnit. [Calls back] This is Frank Ricard...

You know I was thinking we could go back home...have some dinner and pop in the Sisqo CD...no? Weren't thinking that? Ok.


So what do you guys like better? Nurse or cheerleader? Oh, hi Nicole. Have fun at the wedding?

That's how you do it. That's how you debate.