Knocked Up quotes

78 total quotes

Allison Scott
Ben Stone
Debbie
Doorman
Fantasy Baseball Guy

Jason
Jay
Jonah
Martin
Pete

View Quote [to Pete when they look at a sex offender registry website] So I'm the bad guy because I care about protecting our kids from child molesters and mercury? And you're cool because you don't give a shit?

View Quote Ben: Our baby is going to be French Canadian.
Alison: And a little bit Spanish...?
Ben: Yeah, I'm not very good with impressions.

View Quote (ordering beer) "You can't get service, what am I gonna do?"

View Quote You wanna know who I want to get pregnant? Felicity Huffman. Ever since I saw Transamerica, I can't get her out of my head.

View Quote Alison: I'm sorry I told you to **** your bong.
Ben: It's okay... I didn't...

View Quote I'm gonna thrown you in my DeLorean and gun it to 88.

View Quote He's playing fetch... with my kids... he's treating my kids like they're dogs.

View Quote It cures everything. My buddy Jonah broke his elbow one time. He just got high. It still clicks, but it's cool.

View Quote Jay: You're embarrassing me in company!
Jonah: You embarrass yourself!

View Quote You don't know who Doc Brown is? He invented the DeLorean.

View Quote Dude, it's not herpes if it's everywhere.

View Quote You look like a cholo dressed up on Easter.

View Quote I will **** my bong. Doggy-style, for once. (gives Alison the middle finger as he walks out of the OB/GYN office)

View Quote [quoting ‘Back to the Future’] Where we're going we don't need roads.

View Quote (with a gas mask with an attached bong to his face) I am your stoner!