Knocked Up

Knocked Up quotes

78 total quotes (ID: 324)

Allison Scott
Ben Stone
Fantasy Baseball Guy

Alison: I'm sorry I told you to **** your bong.
Ben: It's okay... I didn't...

He's playing fetch... with my kids... he's treating my kids like they're dogs.

[on subject of husbands] You criticize them so much, they get down on themselves, and then they're forced to change!

(with a gas mask with an attached bong to his face) I am your stoner!

Dude, it's not herpes if it's everywhere.

How did it feel changing your name from Cat Stevens to Yusef Islam?

[quoting ‘Back to the Future’] Where we're going we don't need roads.

I'm gonna thrown you in my DeLorean and gun it to 88.

You went to Santa Monica Community College.

She like'a da way ya dick taste.

I'm not having SHIT right now besides a ****ing panic attack!

Martin: I think he's using the dice move a bit too much.
Jay: I think that's pretty much all he's got.

I will **** my bong. Doggy-style, for once. (gives Alison the middle finger as he walks out of the OB/GYN office)

You can't buy shit! You can barely buy spaghetti!

There are FIVE different kinds of chairs in this hotel room.