Knocked Up quotes
78 total quotesJason
Jay
Jonah
Martin
Pete
View Quote
If any of us get laid tonight, it's because of Eric Bana in "Munich."
View Quote
It cures everything. My buddy Jonah broke his elbow one time. He just got high. It still clicks, but it's cool.
View Quote
It's the baseball draft honey, I got Matsui!
View Quote
Man, my balls are shaved, my pubes are trimmed, I'm ready to ****ing rock this shit!
View Quote
Marriage is like a tense, unfunny version of Everybody Loves Raymond, only it doesn't last 22 minutes. It lasts forever.
View Quote
Nice. You are such an asshole. You know what? Go--go **** your ****ing bong!
View Quote
No pink eye for me. I'm just really high!
View Quote
Oh God, they go apeshit over bubbles. I mean, that’s an incredible thing about a child. What’s so great about bubbles? I wish I liked anything as much as my kids like bubbles. It’s totally sad; their smiling faces point out your inability to enjoy anything.
View Quote
See ya... Scorcese on coke
View Quote
She like'a da way ya dick taste.
View Quote
Steely Dan can gargle my balls.
View Quote
Thanks for the free money, bitch.
View Quote
That my friend, is how you get pink eye.
View Quote
There are FIVE different kinds of chairs in this hotel room.
View Quote
Was your vagina drunk?! Did you think it's the thinnest condom on Earth I have on, I'm a ****ing inventor?! I made a dick-skin condom?! "He hollowed out a penis and put it on." What the ****?!