Caddyshack quotes

View Quote Czervik: [after a bird spears Ty's golf ball in midair] Don't worry. It's good luck.
Ty: In Haiti!

View Quote Lacey: This is your fate line. You're going to make a lot of money when you're older.
Danny: Yeah? When? How?
Lacey: Could be in the market or on a game show. And this is your saliva line.
Danny: What does it tell?
Lacey: [licks Danny's hand] How hot I can get you.

View Quote Carl: People say I'm an idiot because all I do is cut lawns for a living.
Ty: People don't say that about you...as far as you know.

View Quote Judge Smails: I demand satisfaction!
Czervik: Oh, you want satisfaction? I'll tell you what's real satisfying...cash! I'll shoot you 18 holes for $10,000.
Judge Smails: [laughs] Why, I could beat you with one arm.
Czervik: How about teams for $20,000? You can have "Dr. Frankenputz."
Dr. Beeper: I beg your pardon!
Czervik: And I'll take Ty.
Ty: Hey, fellows. Don't include me. I don't have time.
Czervik: Come on, Ty, you're an ace. Everybody knows it.
Ty: I don't play golf, for money, against people.
Czervik: What are you, religious or something?
Ty: You might say that.

View Quote Lou Loomis: You, Angie, pick up that blood.

View Quote Lou Loomis: Gentlemen, we all know this is illegal and against Club practice and I'd like to ask at this time if you all agree to waive all sanction against said referee or anything that might get me fired.

View Quote Danny, this isn't Russia. Is this Russia? This isn't Russia, is it?

View Quote Czervik: Judge, give someone else a chance! You lucky devil! Come here, honey! And loosen up! You're a lot of woman, you know? You wanna make 14 dollars the hard way?
Mrs. Smails: You! You! You're no gentleman!
Czervik: I'm no doorknob, either.

View Quote Don't count that one; winter rules.

View Quote [singing] I was born to love you.
I was born to lick your face.
I was born to rub you,
But you were born to rub me first.

View Quote Maggie O'Hooligan: Well, t'anks for nothing!

View Quote Card Player: Do you have any eights?
Judge Smails: [Walking by the card table] Don't you people have homes?

View Quote Dr. Beeper: Hold on, Judge! That's my office. I better get going.
Judge Smails: No. You're in for half of $80,000.
Dr. Beeper: Probably just a routine emergency.

View Quote This is my friend Mr. Wang . . . no offense!

View Quote Mrs. Smails: Well, you two look like a couple of boogies.