Blazing Saddles

Blazing Saddles quotes

64 total quotes (ID: 84)

Bart
Hedley Lamarr
Jim, The Waco Kid
Lyle
Multiple Characters
Taggart


Mongo: Mongo only pawn in game of life.


(after worker faints from the heat) Dock that chink a day's pay for nappin' on the job.

Hedley: My mind is aglow with whirling, transient nodes of thought careening through a cosmic vapor of invention.
Taggart: Ditto!
Hedley: "Ditto"? "Ditto", you provincial putz?!

What's a dazzling urbanite like you doing in a rustic setting like this?

Hedley Lamarr: Raise your right hand... [Nazi's raise left] ...Right hand [Nazi's switch]. Repeat after me: I...
Brigands: I...
Hedley Lamarr: ...your name...
Brigands: ...your name...
Hedley Lamarr: [to himself] Shmucks. [loud] pledge allegiance...
Brigands: ...do pledge allegiance...
Hedley Lamarr: ...to Hedley Lamarr...
Brigands: ...to Hedy Lamarr...
Hedley Lamarr: That's Hedley!!
Brigands: That's Hedley!!
Hedley Lamarr:...and to the evil...
Brigands:...and to the evil...
Hedley Lamarr: ...for which he stands.
Brigands:...for which he stands.
Hedley Lamarr: Now go do, that voodoo, that you do, so weeeell!!!

Well, it got so that every piss-ant prairie punk who thought he could shoot a gun would ride into town to try out the Waco Kid. I must have killed more men than Cecil B. DeMille. It got pretty gritty. I started to hear the word "draw" in my sleep. Then one day I was just walking down the street, when I heard a voice behind me say, "Reach for it, mister!" I spun around, and there I was face-to-face with a six-year-old kid. Well, I just threw my guns down and walked away. Little bastard shot me in the ass! So I limped to the nearest saloon, crawled inside a whiskey bottle, and I've been there ever since.

[The people are about to shoot Bart at his opening speech - until he takes himself hostage]
Bart (gruff voice, hauling himself by the collar): Hold it! The next man that makes a move, the **** gets it.
Dr. Johnson: Hold it men--he's not bluffing! (all but one man drop their guns)
Dr. Samuel Johnson:Listen to him men, he's just crazy enough to do it!
Bart (gruff, to the one with a gun still): Drop it, or I swear I'll blow this ****'s head ALL OVER THIS TOWN!
Bart (pickaninny voice): Oh, Lawdy-Lawd, he's desp'at! Do what he say, do what he saaaayyyy... do what he saaaayyyy...(the man slowly drops the gun)
Harriet Johnson: Isn't anyone going to help that poor man? [Bart is slowly moving towards the sheriff's office, still holding himself hostage]
Dr. Samuel Johnson: Hush, Harriet! That's a sure way to get him killed!
Bart (pickaninny voice): Oh, Oh he'p me! He'p me! He'p me! Somebbody He'p me! He'p me! He'p me! He'p me! (gruff voice) Shut up! [He covers his mouth and pushes his way inside the office] (normal voice, to himself) Oh, baby, you are so talented. And they are so dumb!

Dang, that was lucky! God darn near lost a $400 handcart!

(holding his gun to his head) Nobody moves or the **** gets it!

Bart: Good mornin' Ma'am! And isn't it a lovely mornin'?
Old Lady: Up yours, ****!

Charlie: You shifty ****, they said you was hung!
Bart: And they was right.

Horses! We can't afford to lose no horses you dummy! Send a couple-a ****s.

An uppity **** went and hit me on the head with a shovel.

Lily: (with Bart in the dark) Is it twue what they say about your people being... gifted? (loud unzipping noise) Oh it's TWUE! It's twue, it's twue!

Mexican Outlaw: Badges? We don't need no stinkin badges!