Blazing Saddles

Blazing Saddles quotes

64 total quotes (ID: 84)

Bart
Hedley Lamarr
Jim, The Waco Kid
Lyle
Multiple Characters
Taggart


Bart: Man, why you do that to yourself?
The Waco Kid: Oh, you don't really wanna know...
Bart: I do, I do!
The Waco Kid: Well, if you must pry...
Bart: I must, I must!


(after worker faints from the heat) Dock that chink a day's pay for nappin' on the job.

Hedley Lamarr: Raise your right hand... [Nazi's raise left] ...Right hand [Nazi's switch]. Repeat after me: I...
Brigands: I...
Hedley Lamarr: ...your name...
Brigands: ...your name...
Hedley Lamarr: [to himself] Shmucks. [loud] pledge allegiance...
Brigands: ...do pledge allegiance...
Hedley Lamarr: ...to Hedley Lamarr...
Brigands: ...to Hedy Lamarr...
Hedley Lamarr: That's Hedley!!
Brigands: That's Hedley!!
Hedley Lamarr:...and to the evil...
Brigands:...and to the evil...
Hedley Lamarr: ...for which he stands.
Brigands:...for which he stands.
Hedley Lamarr: Now go do, that voodoo, that you do, so weeeell!!!

Well, it got so that every piss-ant prairie punk who thought he could shoot a gun would ride into town to try out the Waco Kid. I must have killed more men than Cecil B. DeMille. It got pretty gritty. I started to hear the word "draw" in my sleep. Then one day I was just walking down the street, when I heard a voice behind me say, "Reach for it, mister!" I spun around, and there I was face-to-face with a six-year-old kid. Well, I just threw my guns down and walked away. Little bastard shot me in the ass! So I limped to the nearest saloon, crawled inside a whiskey bottle, and I've been there ever since.

Mongo: Mongo only pawn in game of life.

[The people are about to shoot Bart at his opening speech - until he takes himself hostage]
Bart (gruff voice, hauling himself by the collar): Hold it! The next man that makes a move, the **** gets it.
Dr. Johnson: Hold it men--he's not bluffing! (all but one man drop their guns)
Dr. Samuel Johnson:Listen to him men, he's just crazy enough to do it!
Bart (gruff, to the one with a gun still): Drop it, or I swear I'll blow this ****'s head ALL OVER THIS TOWN!
Bart (pickaninny voice): Oh, Lawdy-Lawd, he's desp'at! Do what he say, do what he saaaayyyy... do what he saaaayyyy...(the man slowly drops the gun)
Harriet Johnson: Isn't anyone going to help that poor man? [Bart is slowly moving towards the sheriff's office, still holding himself hostage]
Dr. Samuel Johnson: Hush, Harriet! That's a sure way to get him killed!
Bart (pickaninny voice): Oh, Oh he'p me! He'p me! He'p me! Somebbody He'p me! He'p me! He'p me! He'p me! (gruff voice) Shut up! [He covers his mouth and pushes his way inside the office] (normal voice, to himself) Oh, baby, you are so talented. And they are so dumb!

Hedley: My mind is aglow with whirling, transient nodes of thought careening through a cosmic vapor of invention.
Taggart: Ditto!
Hedley: "Ditto"? "Ditto", you provincial putz?!

Dang, that was lucky! God darn near lost a $400 handcart!

(holding his gun to his head) Nobody moves or the **** gets it!

Reverend: Oh Lord, can we complete this mighty task in one night, or we all just jerking off?
Everyone Else: AMEN.
Lyle: (after Lyle and a bunch of other guys farted for 3 minutes) How about some more beans, Mr. Taggart?
Taggart: I'd say you've had enough.

Mexican Outlaw: Badges? We don't need no stinkin badges!

Bart: Good mornin' Ma'am! And isn't it a lovely mornin'?
Old Lady: Up yours, ****!

Lily: (with Bart in the dark) Is it twue what they say about your people being... gifted? (loud unzipping noise) Oh it's TWUE! It's twue, it's twue!

Horses! We can't afford to lose no horses you dummy! Send a couple-a ****s.

Well, my name's Jim. But most people call me...Jim.