Matt Freehauf Talk about dwelling on the past. Here you are back in Mercury, like a loser, trying to score with a happily married man.
Played by Patton Oswalt 
Young Adult (2011) · 12 quotes
Young Adult (2011) · 12 quotes
Tied for 2nd most-quoted character in Young Adult (2011): in 3 of its 12 quotes
A line from Matt FreehaufGuys like me are born loving women like you.
More lines from Matt Freehauf
1 quote Matt Freehauf Scenes with Matt Freehauf
1 scene
Weren't you that hate crime guy?
Matt Excuse me?
You totally were. You're the hate crime guy! Oh my God, why didn't you just say that? Now I know who you are. Matt, the hate crime guy.
Matt Yes, Mavis. When when we were seniors a bunch of jocks who thought I was gay jumped me in the woods.
That's right!
Matt And hit me on the legs and dick with a crowbar.
With a crowbar. I totally remember that.
Matt It was national news. I mean, until people found out I wasn't really gay. Then it wasn't a hate crime anymore. It was a fat guy getting his ass beat.
Didn't you get to miss a bunch of school?
Matt Yes, I got to miss about six months. It was awesome.
****. How's your dick?
Matt Not good. Not good.
Does it work?
Matt Yeah, it works. You know, it just kind of does. [makes sideways hand gesture]
