The Wizard of Oz 1939 quotes, page 2

Dorothy

But it wasn't a dream. It was a place, and you [Hunk] and you [Hickory] and you [Zeke]... and you [Professor Marvel] were there. [Everyone laughs] But you couldn't have been, could you?

Auntie Em

We dream lots of silly things when we...

Dorothy

No, Aunt Em. This is a real, truly live place. And I remember that some of it wasn't very nice. But most of it was beautiful. But just the same, all I kept saying to everybody was, 'I want to go home.' And they sent me home. [Everyone chuckles again] Doesn't anybody believe me?

Uncle Henry

Of course we believe you, Dorothy.

Dorothy

Oh, but anyway, Toto, we're home! Home! And this is my room - and you're all here! And I'm not gonna leave here ever, ever again because I love you all! - And oh, Auntie Em, there's no place like home. There's no place like home.

Dorothy

Goodbye, Tin Man. Oh, don't cry! You'll rust so dreadfully. Here's your oil can.

Tin Man

Oh, thank you. Now I know I've got a heart, 'cause it's breaking... And it's saying Thank you, Dorothy.

Dorothy

Goodbye, Lion. I know it isn't right, but I'm going to miss the way you used to holler for help before you found your courage.

Cowardly Lion

Oh, thank you. I never would've found it if it hadn't been for you...

Dorothy

I think I'm going to miss you most of all.

Dorothy

I don't like this forest. It's dark and creepy!

Scarecrow

Of course I don't know, but I think it'll get darker before it gets lighter.

Dorothy

Do you suppose we'll meet any wild animals?

Tin Man

We might.

Scarecrow

Animals... that eat... straw?

Tin Man

Well, some, but mostly lions and tigers and bears.

Dorothy

Lions?

Scarecrow

And tigers?

Tin Man

And bears.

Dorothy

Lions and tigers and bears, oh my.

Dorothy

If you please, sir. We want to see the Wizard right away. All four of us.

Orders are: nobody may see the Great Oz! Not nobody, not nohow!

Dorothy

Oh, but please. It's very important!

Cowardly Lion

And I got a permanent just for the occasion!

NOT NOBODY, NOT NOHOW!!!

Scarecrow

But she's Dorothy!

The Witch's Dorothy? Well, um, that makes a difference. Just wait here; I'll announce you at once. [Enters the Wizard's palace]

Scarecrow

Did you hear that? He'll announce us at once! I've as good as got my brain!

Tin Man

I can faintly hear my heart beating!

Dorothy

I'll be home in time for supper!

Cowardly Lion

In another hour, I'll be King of the Forest. Long live the King!

Dorothy

If you were king, you wouldn't be afraid of anything?

Cowardly Lion

Not nobody! Not no how!

Dorothy

Not even a rhinoceros?

Cowardly Lion

Imp-oceros!

Tin Man

How about a hippopotamus?

Cowardly Lion

Why, I'd thrash him from top to bottom-us!

Dorothy

Supposing you met an elephant?

Cowardly Lion

I'd knot him up in cellophant!

Scarecrow

What if it were a Brontosaurus?

Cowardly Lion

I'd show him who's King of the Forest!

How?

Cowardly Lion

How? Courage! What makes a king out of a slave? Courage! What makes the flag on a mast to wave? Courage! What makes an elephant charge his tusk, in the misty mist or the dusky dusk? What makes a muskrat guard his musk? Courage! What makes the sphinx the Seventh Wonder? Courage! What makes the dawn come up like THUNDER? Courage! What makes the Hottentot so hot? What puts the "ape" in apricot? What have they got that I ain't got?

Courage.

Cowardly Lion

You can say that again! [short pause; realizing] Hmm?

Dorothy

It really was no miracle, what happened was just this. The wind began to switch, the house to pitch. And suddenly the hinges started to unhitch. Just then the Witch, to satisfy an itch, went flying on her broomstick thumbin' for a hitch.

The Munchkins

And oh, what happened then was rich. The house began to pitch, the kitchen took a slitch. It landed on the Wicked Witch in the middle of a ditch. Which was not a healthy sit-uation for the Wicked Witch.

Dorothy

Now which way do we go?

Scarecrow

Pardon me. That way is a very nice way...[pointing]

Dorothy

Who said that?

Dorothy

Don't be silly, Toto. Scarecrows don't talk!

Scarecrow

It's pleasant down that way too!...[pointing in another direction]

Dorothy

That's funny. Wasn't he pointing the other way?

Scarecrow

Of course, people do go both ways [pointing in both directions] That's the trouble. I can't make up my mind. I haven't got a brain. Only straw.

Dorothy

How can you talk if you haven't got a brain?

The Scarecrow

I don't know. But some people without brains do an awful lot of talking, don't they?

Dorothy

Yes, I guess you're right.

Dorothy

Oh, now I'll never get home.

Cowardly Lion

Stay with us, then, Dorothy. We all love ya. We don't want ya to go.

Dorothy

That's very kind of you. But this could never be like Kansas. Auntie Em must have stopped wondering what happened to me by now. Oh, Scarecrow, what am I gonna do?

Scarecrow

Look! There's someone who can help you.

Dorothy

Oh, will you help me? Can you help me?

Glinda

You don't need to be helped any longer. You've always had the power to go back to Kansas.

Dorothy

I have?

Scarecrow

Then why didn't you tell her before?

Glinda

She wouldn't have believed me. She had to learn it for herself.

Scarecrow

What have you learned, Dorothy?

Dorothy

Well, I—I think that it, that it wasn't enough just to want to see Uncle Henry and Auntie Em — and it's that — if I ever go looking for my heart's desire again, I won't look any further than my own backyard. Because if it isn't there, I never really lost it to begin with! Is that right?

Glinda

That's all it is!

Scarecrow

But that's so easy! I should've thought of it for you -

Tin Man

I should have felt it in my heart -

Glinda

No, she had to find it out for herself. Now those magic slippers will take you home in two seconds!

Dorothy

Oh! Toto too?

Glinda

Toto too.

Dorothy

Now?

Glinda

Whenever you wish.
...

Glinda

Then close your eyes and tap your heels together three times. And think to yourself, 'There's no place like home'.

Dorothy

What kind of a horse is that? I've never seen a horse like that before!

No — and never will again, I fancy. There's only one of him, and he's it. He's the "Horse of a Different Color" you've heard tell about.

Dorothy

Why can't we go with you and see all the Crowned Heads of Europe?

Professor Marvel

Do you know any? Oh, you mean the thing. [gesturing to his sign] I never do anything without consulting my crystal first. Let's go inside, and I'll show you..This is the same, genuine magic authentic crystal used by the priests of Isis and Osiris in the days of the Pharaohs of Egypt, in which Cleopatra first saw the approach of Julius Caesar and Marc Antony. And so on and so on. Now, you, uh, you'd better close your eyes for a moment, my child, so I can be in better tune with the infinite. [looks through her basket] We can't do these things without reaching out into the infinite. That's all right now, you can open them. We'll look into the crystal. What's this I see? A house with a picket fence and a barn with a weather vane of a...of a... running horse.

Dorothy

That's our farm.

Professor Marvel

I see a woman. She's wearing a polka-dot dress. Her face is careworn.

Dorothy

That's Auntie Em.

Professor Marvel

Her name is Emily.

Dorothy

That's right. What's she doing?

Professor Marvel

Well I, uh, I can't quite see. Why, she's crying. Someone has hurt her. Someone has just about broken her heart.

Dorothy

Me?

Professor Marvel

Well, it's uh, someone she loves very much. Someone she's been very kind to. Someone she's taken care of in sickness.

Dorothy

I had the measles once and she stayed right by me every minute. What's she doing now?

Professor Marvel

Well, she's, uh...What's this? Well, she's, she's putting her hand on her heart. Oh, she's, she's dropping down on the bed.

Dorothy

Oh, no, no, no.

Professor Marvel

Uh, that's it, the crystal's gone dark.

Dorothy

You don't suppose she could really be sick, do you? Oh, I've got to go home right away.

Dorothy

Why, it's a man. A man made out of tin!

Dorothy

Did you say something?

Dorothy

He said "oil can."

Scarecrow

Oil can what?
...

Dorothy

Did that hurt?

Tin Man

No, it feels wonderful. I've held that axe up for ages.

Dorothy

How did you ever get like this?

Tin Man

Well, about a year ago, I was chopping that tree, when suddenly it began to rain. And right in the middle of a chop, I rusted solid. Been that way ever since.

Dorothy

Well, you're perfect now.

Tin Man

Perfect? Bang on my chest if you think I'm perfect. Go ahead, bang on it.

Scarecrow

Beautiful! What an echo!

Tin Man

It's empty. The tinsmith forgot to give me a heart.

Dorothy & Scarecrow

No heart?

Tin Man

No heart. All hollow.

Dorothy

Why, Zeke, you're just as scared as I am!

Hunk

What's the matter? Gonna let a little ol' pig make a coward out of ya?

Hickory

Look at you, Zeke, you're just as white--

Auntie Em

Here, here, what's all this jabber-wapping when there's work to be done? I know three shiftless farm hands that'll be out of a job before they know it!

Hickory

Well, Dorothy was walking along the--

Auntie Em

I saw you tinkering with that contraption, Hickory. Now, you and Hunk get back to that wagon!

Hickory

All right, Mrs. Gale. But someday, they're gonna erect a statue to me in this town.

Auntie Em

Well, don't start posing for it now. Here, here, can't work on an empty stomach. Have some crullers.

Hunk

Gosh, Mrs. Gale.

Auntie Em

Just fried.

Hickory

Thanks.

Hunk

Swell.

Zeke

You see, Dorothy toppled in with the big Duroc--

Auntie Em

It's no place for Dorothy about a pig sty! Now, you go feed those hogs before they worry themselves into anemia!

Zeke

Yes,am.

Dorothy

Auntie Em, really, you know what Miss Gulch said she was gonna do to Toto? She said she was gonna--

Auntie Em

Now, Dorothy, dear, stop imagining things. You always yourself into a fret over nothing.

Dorothy

No--

Auntie Em

Now, you just help us out today, and find yourself a place where you won't get into any trouble.

Dorothy

You know, we were just wondering why you couldn't come with us to the Emerald City to ask the wizard for a heart.

Tin Man

But suppose the wizard wouldn't give me one once we got there?

Dorothy

Oh, but he will. He must. We've come such a long way already.

Wicked Witch

You call that long?! Why, you've just begun! Helping the little lady along are you, my fine gentlemen? Well, stay away from her, [pointing to the Scarecrow] or I'll stuff a mattress with you! [toward the Tin Man] And you - I'll use you for a beehive. Here Scarecrow, want to play ball? [she hurls a ball of fire at the Scarecrow, who draws back in terror from the flames burning on the ground near him]

Scarecrow

I'm not afraid of her. I'll see you get safely to the Wizard now whether I get a brain or not. Stuff a mattress with me, eh? [tries to snap his fingers defiantly, but his gloved fingers produce no sound]

Tin Man

I'll see you reach the Wizard, whether I get a heart or not. Beehive! Bah! Let her try and make a beehive out of me! [snaps his fingers, making a harsh "clank" sound]

Dorothy

Oh, you're the best friends anybody ever had! And it's funny, but I feel as if I've known you all the time. But I couldn't have, could I?
...

We're off to see the Wizard, the Wonderful Wizard of Oz.

Glinda

Are you a good witch, or a bad witch?

Dorothy

Who, me? Why, I'm not a witch at all. I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas.

Glinda

Oh, well, is that a witch [gesturing toward Toto]?

Dorothy

Toto? Toto's my dog.

Glinda

Well, I'm a little muddled. The Munchkins called me because a new witch has just dropped a house on the Wicked Witch of the East. And there's the house, and here you are, and that's all that's left of the Wicked Witch of the East. And so, what the Munchkins want to know is, are you a Good Witch or a Bad Witch?

Dorothy

Oh, but I've already told you, I'm not a witch at all! Witches are old and ugly. [The Munchkins giggle from concealment] What was that?

Glinda

The Munchkins. They're laughing because I am a witch. I'm Glinda, the Witch of the North.

Dorothy

You are?! Oh, I beg your pardon! But I've never heard of a beautiful witch before.

Glinda

Only bad witches are ugly. The Munchkins are happy because you have freed them from the Wicked Witch of the East.

Dorothy

Oh, but if you please, what are Munchkins?

Glinda

The little people who live in this land. It's Munchkinland. And you are their national heroine, my dear.