Well they can't be real people.

Well of course they're real people.

Stuff and nonsense.

No, Oompa Loompas.

Oompa Loompas?

From Loompaland.

Loompaland? There's no such place.

Excuse me, dear lady...

Mr. Wonka, I am a teacher of geography.

Oh, well then you know all about it and what a terrible country it is. Nothing but desolate wastes and fierce beasts. And the poor little Oompa Loompas were so small and helpless, they would get gobbled up right and left. A Wangdoodle would eat ten of them for breakfast and think nothing of it. And so, I said, "Come and live with me in peace and safety, away from all the Wangdoodles and Hornswogglers and Snozzwangers and rotten Vermicious Knids."

Snozzwangers? Vermicious Knids? What kind of rubbish is that?

I'm sorry, but all questions must be submitted in writing. And so, in the greatest of secrecy I transported the entire population of Oompa Loompas to my factory here.

Hey, Daddy, I want an Oompa Loompa. I want you to get me an Oompa Loompa right away.

All right, Veruca, all right. I'll get you one before the day is out.

I want an Oompa Loompa now!

Can it, you nit!