All aboard, everybody.
Mr. Salt
Ladies first and that means Veruca.
Willy Wonka
Gene Wilder · 58 quotes
Veruca Salt
Julie Dawn Cole · 15 quotes
Charlie Bucket
Peter Ostrum · 11 quotes
Grandpa Joe
Jack Albertson · 10 quotes
Oompa Loompas
8 quotes
Mrs. Teevee
Nora Denney · 4 quotes
Sam Beauregarde
Leonard Stone · 4 quotes
Violet Beauregarde
Denise Nickerson · 4 quotes
Mr. Turkentine
David Battley · 3 quotes
Stanley Kael, Second News Anchorman
3 quotes
First News Anchorman
1 quote
Most scenes together: Willy Wonka & Veruca Salt (9), Willy Wonka & Grandpa Joe (7), Grandpa Joe & Charlie Bucket (7)
Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory quotes
Page 3 of 7Don't you know what this is?
By gum, it's gum!
Wrong! It's the most amazing, fabulous, sensational gum in the whole world.
What so fab about that?
This little piece of gum is a three course dinner.
Mr. Salt
Bull.
No, roast beef. But I haven't got it quite right yet.
The strawberries taste like strawberries. The snozzberries taste like snozzberries!
Snozzberries? Who ever heard of a snozzberry?
[Wonka grabs Veruca's jaw]
We are the music makers... and we are the dreamers of dreams.
Well, fortunately, small boys are extremely springy and elastic. So I think we'll put him in my special taffy-pulling machine. That should do the trick.
[to an Oompa-Loompa]
To the taffy-pulling room. You'll find the boy in his mother's purse. But be extremely careful.
To the t-t-t... taffy-pulling room? What's he saying?!
[Oompa-Loompa whispers to Wonka]
No, no. I won't hold you responsible. [to Mrs. Teevee, who has started babbling incoherently and then fainted] And now, my dearest lady. It's time to say goodbye. No, no, don't speak. For some moments in life there are no words. Run along now.
[The Oompa-Loompas drag her out]
Because, Charlie, she's a nitwit!
Mr. Salt
Where's she gone?
Where all the other bad eggs go: down the garbage chute.
Mr. Salt
[laughs heartily]
Oh, the garbage chute. Where does it lead to?
To the furnace.
Mr. Salt
[laughs heartily]
The furnace! She'll be sizzled like a sausage.
Well, not necessarily. She could be stuck just inside the tube.
Mr. Salt
[laughs heartily]
Inside the...
Mr. Salt
[he starts suddenly in shock and runs]
Hold on! Veruca! Sweetheart! Daddy's coming!
Well, Mr. Salt finally got what he wanted.
What's that?
Veruca went first.
Grandpa, look over there across the river! They're little men!
Jumping crocodiles, Charlie! Now we know who makes the chocolate.
Mr. Salt
[everyone stares in amazement at the Oompa-Loompas]
I never saw anybody with an orange face before. Funny-looking people, aren't they, Wonka?
What are they doing there?
Must be creaming and sugaring time.
Well, they can't be real people.
Well, of course they're real people.
Mr. Salt
Stuff and nonsense!
No. Oompa Loompas.
Group
[turn around]
Oompa Loompas?!
From Loompaland.
Loompaland? There's no such place.
Excuse me, dear lady...
Mr. Wonka, I am a teacher of geography.
Oh, well, then you know all about it and what a terrible country it is. Nothing but desolate wastes and fierce beasts. And the poor little Oompa Loompas were so small and helpless, they would get gobbled up right and left. A Wangdoodle would eat ten of them for breakfast and think nothing of it. And so, I said, "Come and live with me in peace and safety, away from all the Wangdoodles, and Hornswogglers, and Snozzwangers, and rotten, Vermicious Knids."
Mr. Salt
Snozzwangers? Vermicious Knids? What kind of rubbish is that?
I'm sorry, but all questions must be submitted in writing. [continues] And so, in the greatest of secrecy, I transported the entire population of Oompa Loompas to my factory here.
Hey, Daddy, I want an Oompa Loompa. I want you to get me an Oompa Loompa right away.
Mr. Salt
All right, Veruca. All right. I'll get you one before the day is out.
I want an Oompa Loompa now!
Can it, you nit!
Must show you this. Lickable wallpaper for nursery walls. Lick an orange. It tastes like an orange. Lick a pineapple. It tastes like a pineapple. Go ahead. Try it.
Mike [the tourists lick the wallpaper]
Mmm! I got a plum.
Grandpa, this banana's fantastic! It tastes so real!
Try some more. The strawberries taste like strawberries. The snozzberries taste like snozzberries.
Snozzberries?! Who ever heard of a snozzberry?
We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams.
Here, Wonka is quoting Arthur O'Shaughnessy's "Ode," Music and Moonlight (1874), lines 1–2.
Mr. Wonka?
I am extraordinarily busy, sir.
I just wanted to ask about the chocolate, the lifetime supply of chocolate, for Charlie. When does he get it?
He doesn't.
Why not?
Because he broke the rules.
What rules? We didn't see any rules, did we, Charlie?
[angrily]
Wrong, sir! Wrong! Under section 37B of the contract signed by him, it states quite clearly that all offers shall become null and void if - and you can read it for yourself in this photostatic copy - "I, the undersigned, shall forfeit all rights, privileges, and licenses herein and herein contained," et cetera, et cetera... "Fax mentis, incendium gloria cultum," et cetera, et cetera... Memo bis punitor delicatum! It's all there! Black and white, clear as crystal! You stole Fizzy-Lifting Drinks! You bumped into the ceiling, which now has to be washed and sterilized, so you get... NOTHING!!! You lose! GOOD DAY, SIR! [returns to work]
[shocked]
You're a crook... [furiously] You're a cheat and a swindler...! That's what you are! How can you do a thing like this?! Build up a little boy's hopes, and then smash all his dreams to pieces?! [lividly] You're an inhuman monster...!
I said "GOOD DAY"!! [goes on about his work]
Come on, Charlie. Let's get out of here. [sets to leave] I'll get even with him if it's the last thing I ever do. If Slugworth wants a Gobstopper, he'll get one.
[he places the Everlasting Gobstopper on Wonka's desk and sets off as Wonka stops writing] [puts his hand on the Gobstopper]
"So shines a good deed in a weary world." [looks up] Charlie? My boy. You've won! You did it! You did it! I knew you would! I just knew you would! Oh, Charlie, forgive me for putting you through this. Please, forgive me. Come in, Mr. Wilkinson! [The man originally known as Slugworth walks in.] Charlie, meet Mr. Wilkinson!
Wilkinson
Pleasure!
Slugworth!
No, no! That's not Slugworth! He works for me!
For you?
I had to test you, Charlie. And you passed the test! You won!
Won what?!
The jackpot, my dear sir! The grand and glorious jackpot!
The chocolate?
The chocolate, yes! The chocolate, but that's just the beginning! We hafta get on! We hafta get on! We have so much time, and so little to do! Strike that. Reverse it. This way, please!
How did you like the chocolate factory, Charlie?
I think it's the most wonderful place in the whole world.
I'm very pleased to hear you say that, because I'm giving it to you. That's all right, isn't it?
You're giving Charlie the...?
I can't go on forever, and I don't really want to try. So who can I trust to run the factory when I leave and take care of the Oompa Loompas for me? Not a grown up. A grown up would want to do everything his own way, not mine. So that's why I decided a long time ago that I had to find a child. A very honest, loving child, to whom I could tell all my most precious candy making secrets.
And that's why you sent out the golden tickets.
That's right. So the factory is yours, Charlie. You can move in immediately.
And me?
Absolutely.
What happens to the rest...?
The whole family. I want you to bring them all.
[he and Charlie embrace]
But, Charlie, don't forget what happened to the man who suddenly got everything he always wanted.
What happened?
He lived happily ever after.
That's it. THAT'S IT. It's ALL over! The Wonka Contest is all over! The fifth and final ticket has been found, and we've got a live report coming in directly, now, from Paraguay, South America!
[As he picks up the Everlasting Gobstopper relinquished by Charlie on his desk]
"So shines a good deed in a weary world." [Paraphrased from William Shakespeare's The Merchant of Venice, Act V, Scene 1. The word "naughty" was changed to "weary" for the movie.]
[as the Wonkamobile sprays foam everywhere]
"Martha! Martha! Du entschwandest, Und mein Glück nahmst du mit dir; Gib mir wieder, was du fandest, Oder teile es mit mir." [From Friedrich von Flotow's opera Martha. Translation: "Martha! Martha! You have vanished, and you take my joy with you; Show me what you have found, or split it with me."]
[in the tunnel]
There's no earthly way of knowingwhich direction we are going.There's no knowing where we're rowing,or which way the river's flowing.Is it raining? Is it snowing?Is a hurricane a-blowing?Not a speck of light is showing,so the danger must be growing.Are the fires of hell a-glowing?Is the grisly reaper mowing?!Yes! The danger must be growing,for the rowers keep on rowing.And they're certainly not showing...any signs that they are slowing!
[opening lock]
Ninety-nine... forty-four... one hundred percent pure. [A reference to Ivory Soap, which was advertized as being '99.44% pure'.]
[Referring to the soda-powered Wonkamobile]
A thing of beauty is a joy forever. [Quoting John Keats.]
[singing]
A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men. [A well-known proverb before Roald Dahl used it; Horace writes, "Misce stultitiam consiliis brevem: Dulce est desipere in loco."]