Who Framed Roger Rabbit quotes

View Quote Eddie Valiant: You crazy rabbit! I'm out there risking my neck for you, and what are you doing? Singing and dancing!
Roger Rabbit: But I'm a toon. Toons are supposed to make people laugh.
Eddie Valiant: Sit down!
Roger Rabbit: You don't understand. Those people needed to laugh.
Eddie Valiant: Then when they're done laughing, they'll call the cops. That guy Angelo would rat on you for a nickel.
Roger Rabbit: Not Angelo. He'd never turn me in.
Eddie Valiant: Why? Because you made him laugh?
Roger Rabbit: That's right! A laugh can be a very powerful thing. Why, sometimes in life, it's the only weapon we have.

View Quote Angelo: So who's your client, Mr. Detective-to-the-Stars? Chilly Willy? Or Screwy Squirrel?
Dolores: What'll it be?
Angelo: I'll have a beer, doll. So what happened, huh? Somebody kidnapped Dinky Doodle?
Dolores: Cut it out, Angelo.
Angelo: No, wait a minute, wait a minute, I've got it. You're working for Little Bo Peep. She's lost her sheep, and you're gonna help her find them, huh?
[Angelo laughs. Eddie kicks Angelo's seat out from under him and grabs him by the neck]
Eddie Valiant: Get this straight, meatball! I don't work for toons!
[Eddie stuffs a hard-boiled egg in Angelo's mouth and storms off]
Angelo: [spits out the egg] So what's his problem?
Dolores: A toon killed his brother.
Angelo: What?
Dolores: Dropped a piano on his head.

View Quote Mrs. Herman: Mommy's going to the beauty parlor, darling, but I'm leaving you with your favorite friend, Roger. He's going to take very, very good care of you, because if he doesn't, he's going back to the science lab!

View Quote Birds: Hi, Eddie. Hi, Eddie. Hi, Eddie. Bye, Eddie!

View Quote C'mon, Roger. Let's go home. I'll bake ya a carrot cake [Roger chuckles...].

View Quote Yosemite Sam: [with his rear end on fire, lands near Eddie] Yeow! Ow! My biscuits are burnin'! Fire in the hatch! Great horny toads, that smarts! [Sits in a puddle and extinguishes the fire]

View Quote No toon can resist the old "shave and a haircut" trick.

View Quote Marvin Acme: "If it's Acme, it's a gasser". Put it there, pal. [shakes hands with Eddie, who feels a shock] The hand buzzer. Still our biggest seller.

View Quote Judge Doom: You wouldn't have any idea where the rabbit might be, Mr. Valiant?
Eddie Valiant: Have you tried Walla Walla? Cucamonga? I hear Kokomo's very nice this time of the year.
Judge Doom: I'm surprised you're not more cooperative, Mr. Valiant. A human has been murdered by a toon. Don't you appreciate the magnitude of that?

View Quote Lt. Santino: Just like a toon to drop a safe on a guy's head.

View Quote Porky Pig: [Last lines] Alright, m-m-move it along. There's, ah, nothing to see. That's all, folks. [Scratches head] Hmm... [Turns to camera] I like the sound of that! [Traditional Warner Bros cartoon closing follows:] Th-Th-Th-that's all, folks!

View Quote Eddie Valiant: Seriously, what do you see in that guy?
Jessica Rabbit: He makes me laugh.

View Quote Tram Conductor: What do I look like, a bank?

View Quote I'm not bad. I'm just drawn that way.

View Quote Eddie Valiant: Anybody know you're here?
Roger Rabbit: Nobody. Not a soul, except, uh--
Eddie Valiant: Who?
Roger Rabbit: Well, you see, I didn't know where your office was. So I asked the newsboy. He didn't know. So I asked the fireman, green grocerer, the butcher, the baker, they didn't know. But the liquor store guy; he knew.
Eddie Valiant: In other words, the whole damn town knows you're here! Get out!