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When Harry Met Sally

When Harry Met Sally quotes

63 total quotes

Harry Burns
Jess
Marie
Multiple Characters
Sally Albright


Harry: So how come you broke up with Sheldon?
Sally: How do you know we broke up?
Harry: Because if you didn't break up, you wouldn't be with me, you'd be off with Sheldon the Wonder Schlong.
Sally: First of all, I am not with you. And second of all, it is none of your business why we broke up.
Harry: You're right, you're right. I don't want to know.
Sally: Well, if you must know, it was because he was very jealous and I had these Days of the Week underpants.
Harry: [He makes a loud buzzer sound] I'm sorry. I need a judge's ruling on this. Days of the Week underpants?
Sally: Yes. They had the days of the week on them, and I thought they were sort of funny - and then one day, Sheldon says to me, 'You never wear Sunday.' He's all suspicious. Where was Sunday? Where had I left Sunday? And I told him, and he didn't believe me.
Harry: What?
Sally: They don't make Sunday.
Harry: Why not?
Sally: Because of God.


Harry: The first time we met, we hated each other.
Sally: No, you didn't hate me, I hated you. And the second time we met, you didn't even remember me.
Harry: I did too, I remembered you. The third time we met, we became friends.
Sally: We were friends for a long time.
Harry: And then we weren't.
Sally: And then we fell in love.

Harry: There are two kinds of women: high maintenance and low maintenance.
Sally: And Ingrid Bergman is low maintenance?
Harry: An L.M. Definitely.
Sally: Which one am I?
Harry: You're the worst kind. You're high maintenance but you think you're low maintenance.
Sally: I don't see that.
Harry: You don't see that? "Waiter, I'll begin with the house salad, but I don't want the regular dressing. I'll have the balsamic vinegar and oil, but on the side, and then the salmon with the mustard sauce, but I want the mustard sauce on the side." 'On the side' is a very big thing for you.
Sally: Well, I just want it the way I want it.
Harry: I know, high maintenance.

Harry: What? Can't a man say a woman is attractive without it being a come-on? All right, all right. Let's just say, just for the sake of argument, that it was a come-on. What do you want me to do about it? I take it back, OK? I take it back.
Sally: You can't take it back.
Harry: Why not?
Sally: Because it's already out there.
Harry: Oh jeez. What are we supposed to do? Call the cops? It's already out there!
Sally: Just let it lie, OK?
Harry: Great! Let it lie. That's my policy. That's what I always say. Let it lie. Want to spend the night in a motel? You see what I did? I didn't let it lie.
Sally: Harry -
Harry: I said I would and I didn't...I went the other way...What?
Sally: We are just going to be friends, OK?
Harry: Great, friends. It's the best thing.

Harry: Why can't we get past this? I mean, are we gonna carry this thing around forever?
Sally: Forever? It just happened.
Harry: It happened three weeks ago. You know how a year to a person is like seven years to a dog?
Sally: Yes.
Sally: Is one of us supposed to be a dog in this scenario?
Harry: Yes.
Sally: Who is the dog?
Harry: You are.
Sally: I am? I am the dog? I am the dog?
Harry: Um-hmm.
Sally: I am the dog. I-I don't see that Harry. If anybody is the dog, you are the dog. You want to act like what happened didn't mean anything.
Harry: I'm not saying it didn't mean anything. I am saying why does it have to mean everything?
Sally: Because it does, and you should know that better than anybody because the minute that it happens, you walk right out the door.
Harry: I didn't walk out.
Sally: No, sprinted is more like it.
Harry: We both agreed it was a mistake.
Sally: The worst mistake I've ever made.
Harry: What do you want from me?
Sally: I don't want anything from you!
Harry: Fine. Fine, but let's just get one thing straight. I did not go over there that night to make love to you, that is not why I went there. But you looked up at me with these big weepy eyes, don't go home night Harry, hold me a little longer Harry. What was I supposed to do?
Sally: What are you saying, you took pity on me?
Harry: No, I was...
Sally: **** you! [she slaps Harry]

Harry: Why don't you tell me the story of your life.
Sally: The story of my life?
Harry: We've got eighteen hours to kill before we hit New York.
Sally: The story of my life isn't even going to get us out of Chicago. I mean nothing's happened to me yet. That's why I'm going to New York.
Harry: So something can happen to you?
Sally: Yes.
Harry: Like what?
Sally: Like I'm going to journalism school to become a reporter.
Harry: So you can write about things that happen to other people.
Sally: That's one way to look at it.
Harry: Suppose nothing happens to you. Suppose you lived out your whole life and nothing happens. You never meet anybody, you never become anything, and finally you die in one of those New York deaths which nobody notices for two weeks until the smell drifts into the hallway.

Harry: Would you like to have dinner?... Just friends.
Sally: I thought you didn't believe men and women could be friends.
Harry: When did I say that?
Sally: On the ride to New York.
Harry: No, no, no, no, I never said that... Yes, that's right, they can't be friends. Unless both of them are involved with other people, then they can... This is an amendment to the earlier rule. If the two people are in relationships, the pressure of possible involvement is lifted... That doesn't work either, because what happens then is, the person you're involved with can't understand why you need to be friends with the person you're just friends with. Like it means something is missing from the relationship and why do you have to go outside to get it? And when you say "No, no, no, no, it's not true, nothing is missing from the relationship," the person you're involved with then accuses you of being secretly attracted to the person you're just friends with, which you probably are. I mean, come on, who the hell are we kidding, let's face it. Which brings us back to the earlier rule before the amendment, which is men and women can't be friends.

Harry: You know the first time I met I really didn't like you that much.
Sally: I didn't like you.
Harry: Yeah you did, you were just so uptight then. You're much softer now.
Sally: You know I hate that kind of remark. It sounds like a complement but really it's an insult.
Harry: OK, you're still as hard as nails.
Sally: I just didn't want to sleep with you and you had to write it off as a character flaw instead of dealing with the possibility that it might have something to do with you.
Harry: What's the statute of limitation on apologies?
Sally: Ten years.
Harry: Ooo, I can just get it in under the wire.
Sally: Would you like to have dinner with me some time?
Harry: Are we becoming friends now?
Sally: Well... [Pause] yeah.
Harry: Great! A woman friend... You know you may be the first attractive woman I have not wanted to sleep with in my entire life.
Sally: That's wonderful Harry.

Harry: You know you just get to a certain point where you get tired of the whole thing.
Sally: What "whole thing"?
Harry: The whole life-of-a-single-guy thing. You meet someone, you have the safe lunch, you decide you like each other enough to move on to dinner. You go dancing, you do the white-man's over-bite, go back to her place, you have sex and the minute you're finished you know what goes through your mind? How long do I have to lie here and hold her before I can get up and go home. Is thirty seconds enough?
Sally: That's what you're thinking? Is that true?
Harry: Sure! All men think that. How long do you want to be held afterwards? All night, right? See there's your problem, somewhere between thirty seconds and all night is your problem.
Sally: I don't have a problem!
Harry: Yeah you do.

Harry: You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sally: Why not?
Harry: What I'm saying is — and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form — is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry: No you don't.
Sally: Yes I do.
Harry: No you don't.
Sally: Yes I do.
Harry: You only think you do.
Sally: You say I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry: No, what I'm saying is they all want to have sex with you.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: How do you know?
Harry: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally: So you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry: No, you pretty much want to nail 'em too.
Sally: What if they don't want to have sex with you?
Harry: Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
Sally: Well, I guess we're not going to be friends then.
Harry: Guess not.
Sally: That's too bad. You were the only person that I knew in New York.

Harry: You were a good friend of umm...
Sally: Amanda's. I can't believe you can't remember her name.
Harry: What do you mean? I remember, Amanda right? Amanda Rice.
Sally: Reese.
Harry: Reese, right! That's what I said! What ever happened to her?
Sally: I have no idea.
Harry: You have no idea? You were really good friends with her. We didn't make it because you were such good friends.
Sally: You went with her!
Harry: And was it worth it? The sacrifice for a friend that you don't even keep in touch with?
Sally: Harry, you might not believe this but I never considered not sleeping with you a sacrifice.
Harry: Fair enough. Fair enough.

Harry: You were going to be a gymnast.
Sally: A journalist.
Harry: Right, that's what I said. And?
Sally: I am a journalist, I work at The News.
Harry: Great! And you're with Joe. Well that's great, great. You're together, what, three weeks?
Sally: A month, how did you know that?
Harry: You take someone to the airport it's clearly the beginning of a relationship. That's why I have never taken anyone to the airport at the beginning of a relationship.
Sally: Why?
Harry: Because eventually if things move on and you don't take someone to the airport, and I never wanted anyone to say to me, "How come you never take me to the airport anymore?"
Sally: It's amazing, you look like a normal person but actually you are the Angel of Death.

Jess: Emily is terrific.
Harry: Yeah. But of course when I asked where she was when Kennedy was shot she said, "Ted Kennedy was shot?"
Jess: No.

Jess: I don't understand this relationship.
Harry: What do you mean?
Jess: You enjoy being with her?
Harry: Yeah.
Jess: You find her attractive?
Harry: Yeah.
Jess: And you're not sleeping with her.
Harry: No.
Jess: You're afraid to let yourself be happy.
Harry: Why can't you give me credit for this? This is a big thing for me. I never had a relationship with a woman that didn't involve sex. I feel like I'm growing.
...
Harry: It's very freeing. I can say anything to her.
Jess: Are you saying you can say things to her you can't say to me?
Harry: Nah, it's just different. It's a whole new perspective. I get the woman's point of view on things. She tells me about the men she goes out with and I can talk to her about the women that I see.
Jess: You tell her about other women.
Harry: Yeah. Like the other night. I made love to this woman, and it was so incredible, I took her to a place that wasn't human, she actually meowed.
Jess: You made a woman meow?
Harry: Yeah. That's the point, I can say these things to her. And the great thing is, I don't have to lie because I'm not always thinking about how to get her into bed. I can just be myself.
Jess: You made a woman meow?

Jess: If she's so great why aren't you taking her out?
Harry: How many times do I have to tell you, we're just friends.
Jess: So you're saying she's not that attractive.
Harry: No, I told you she is attractive.
Jess: Yeah but you also said she has a good personality.
Harry: She has a good personality.
[Jess stops walking, turns to Harry, raises his arms in the air]
Harry: What?
Jess: When someone's not that attractive, they're always described as having a good personality.
Harry: Look, if you had asked me what does she look like and I said, she has a good personality, that means she's not attractive. But just because I happen to mention that she has a good personality, she could be either. She could be attractive with a good personality, or not attractive with a good personality.
Jess: So which one is she?
Harry: Attractive.
Jess: But not beautiful, right?