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Van Wilder

Van Wilder quotes

31 total quotes

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Taj Mahal Badalandabad
Van Wilder


Don't be a fool, wrap your tool.


Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out alive.

Her name is Naomi. That's 'I MOAN' backwards.

Hey, look. That old bag is stronger than she looks.

I didn't realize that I was nothing more to you than some flacid story.

I'd like you to meet Sherri and Terri. Two girls utterly infatuated with men who have larger than normal... medulla oblongata's.

If he's here, who's running Hell?

Richard, you rascal, you never told me you were a DIK! [under breath] Not that you had to.

Sharing a half-calf latte and a penalty box with Gwen Pearson who believes that censorship reflects society's lack of confidence in itself.

This is the Great White Barry.

Those circus midgets can NOT hold their booze!

Tit! Oh mummy. Most Indians would say cow because they are sacred, but, I hear milk and I think big giant jugs. I can not go back home a virgin. I came here to this country to study the great American art of muff diving. To smack clam, munch rug, dine at just one American pink taco stand! You know, I wanted to, how is it, park the porpoise. You know? I want to take it through the car wash, baby. And get it waxed. I want to wax it. Wax it! You know, and air dry. Air dry that shit, yeah! And I would like to be your assistant very much, Mr. Van Wilder.

Well, it is the NAKED mile run; everyone else will be in their birthday suits. Except for that guy...

Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but doesn't get you anywhere.

Write that down.