Van Helsing quotes

53 total quotes

View Quote Van Helsing: There's something down here. And it's carnivorous. Whatever it is it appears to be... human. I'd say he's a size 17, about 360 pounds, 8 and a half to 9 feet tall. He has a bad gimp in his right leg, and, ah— 3 copper teeth.
Anna Valerious: How do you know he has copper teeth?
Van Helsing: Because he's standing right behind you— move!

View Quote Van Helsing: Bless me, father, for I have...
Cardinal Jinette: ...sinned, yes, I know. You are very good at that. You shattered the Rose Window.
Van Helsing: Well, not to split hairs, but it was Mr Hyde who did the smashing.
Cardinal Jinette: 11th century. Over eight hundred years old. I wish you a week in hell for that.

View Quote Village Woman: [Carl has just saved her from one of Dracula's children] How can I ever repay you.
Carl: [whispers something in her ear]
Village Woman: But you can't do that. You are a monk.
Carl: Well technically I'm just a friar.

View Quote Frankenstein's Monster: [hanging from a rope] Help! Help me!
Carl: But you're supposed to die!
Frankenstein's Monster: I want to live!
Carl:... All right.

View Quote Ladies and gentleman, I give to you, VAN HELSING!

View Quote He's the first one to kill a vampire in over a hundred years. I'd say that's earned him a drink.

View Quote Dr. Frankenstein: Good God. I would kill myself before helping in such a task.
Dracula : Feel free. I don't actually need you anymore, Victor. I just need him... he is the key.

View Quote Van Helsing: The Cardinal has ordered you to keep me alive. [He hands a Carl a bag of weapons.] For as long as possible.
Carl: But I'm not a field man! [Whining] Van Helsing, I don't want to go to Transylvania!
Carl: Do you remember anything?
Van Helsing: I remember fighting the Romans at Masada.
Carl: That was in 73 AD!
Van Helsing: You asked.

View Quote Velkan: I would rather die than help you!
Dracula: Oh, don't be boring, everyone who says that dies.

View Quote I hope you have a heart, Aleera, because someday I'm going to drive a stake through it.

View Quote Actually, I'm still just a friar. I can curse all I want, dammit!

View Quote I'm at war with the world and every living soul in it!... But soon the final battle will begin.

View Quote Do we have a plan? I mean, it doesn't have to be Wellington's at Waterloo, but some kind of plan would be nice.

View Quote Oh, and did I mention, Gabriel. It was you who murdered me?

View Quote How many commandments can we break in one day?