Most scenes together: Maximillian & Julius Jones (2), Maximillian & Det. Rita Veder (2), Det. Justice & Silas Green (2)
Vampire in Brooklyn quotes
Page 1 of 2: Let me give you an anatomy lesson. This [points] is my stomach. This [points] is my heart. Stomach. Heart. Stomach. Heart.
: Evil is good, and ass is good, and if you find you a piece of evil ass, WOO!
: Hey, yo, man I don't know how you know me, but, uh, everything is everything. I ain't seen nothin', okay? So you can go ahead and just jump right back through the window, man. I won't tell anybody I saw you, 'cause I ain't really seen you! You know I'm blind! I got, like cataracts, I mean, um, contacts. I got astigmatism, man. I can't see; I'm blind. Where you at? Where you at? See, look. Where you at? Huh? Where you at?
: A long, long time ago, Nosferatu, the undead, the race of the Vampire were driven from Egypt. Most fled to the Carpathian Mountains of Transylvania, but others of better taste, including myself, travelled south through Africa and over the Atlantic, to a beautiful island hidden deep in the Bermuda Triangle. There we lived for happy centuries, feasting on the blood of unwary travellers. Until discovered by the hunters once again. Then the blood that spilled was our own. I, alone, escaped. But a Vampire-alone is a Vampire doomed. My chance was to find the one known offspring of our tribe that had been born in a foreign land. A woman, somewhere in this place, called Brooklyn...
So you say you saw... what?
It was a wolf godammit! A big, black, stinking-ass wolf. The mother****er jumped off the boat and ran over there. And when it got there the son of a bitch turned into a man. He did the flippflopp shit on me... Just like whore I used to know in Detroit back in 62. I'd go over her house on saturday night... she loved me, man. Bitch made me chicken and some pretzels! I'd come through the door, she's a man! Flippfloppin' and shit. You ever seen a mother****er flippflopp on you and shit like that? In your face trying to flippflopp and shit!
So the wolf you saw looked something like that?
The wolf? Hell no! That's a chihuahua compared to the mother****er come at me! Ya ever seen a wolf, man?
Yes?
To the 25th power!
Hey, man, my pops always said the quickest way to a woman's heart - the church.
It's actually through the ribcage, but that's a bit messy.
Hey, Max, let me ask you something. Why didn't you just bite this bitch when you had a chance?
It doesn't work that way. She has to give herself to me voluntarily.
Hey, this is Brooklyn, baby. Don't nobody give up shit unless you got some cold cash or a hot slug for their ass.
In this case, I know a lot more about her than she knows about herself. One dance with me, one dance, and she'll be mine
Oh, see now, yeah, yeah. Now you're talking, player. Now you're talking. Take her dancing. I bet you dance that ol' wild Hammer shit.
So I'm gonna put on some music and I want you to show me what you're gonna do when you get in there, you wild vampire self. Show me that old Hammer shit you gonna do.
Do you like Italian? I make an excellent fusilli.
Actually, that's my favorite, but I really think I ought to take a rain check.
Oh, there's someone else.
Not anymore.
Well, if there's no one else, then I would love to have you... for dinner.
Look here. I'm a cop.
Ah. The police?
Mmm-hmm, the law. Which means, if you try anything funny, I'll shoot you.
Can I send my car to pick you up in a half-hour?
I'll see you then.
Rita, my sweet, you must feed, or you're going to die.
I won't let you. I'll find someone for you.
Hey, hey, Hey! The Knicks won! Julius, goddamn it, you owe me $50. [he then notices the new decor created by Max's casting spells] Good God, he's a bad mother****er. Julius! Where's my $50, Julius... [notices Rita, weak and hungry, resting] You ain't Julius. You that cop's girl. What wrong, baby? You look sick. Had too much pork today, huh? Bad pig's feet, ate the bay leaf? Want some cod-liver oil, baby? Tell me what you need.
Blood? Blood? I'll go to the Red Cross, get all you need.
Shut up!
Ow! Hey, brother, what the idea?
The idea is dinner.
Dinner? I don't see no dinner. What are we having?
You!
ME? Don't do it, baby!
Do it, Rita. You don't have to resist. Do it!
Don't do it, baby. I got old, tired Grandpa blood! I got high blood pressure, baby! High as the MOTHER****IN' MOON! You suck my blood. I've gotta take three pills a DAY!
You people are ought to stay back! Killer here loves to bite!
So do I!
Call me, baby, call Silas.
God loves you. God loves me.
Interesting. I've been stabbed, and I've been hanged, and I've been burned. Even broken on the rack once, but I've never been shot before. It kind of itches a little.
Keep your faith, Detective. If I know one thing, its this, you'll need it!