Julius Benedict Thank you for the cookies. I look forward to tossing them.
Most-quoted character in Twins (1988): in 14 of its 14 quotes
Most scenes with: Vincent Benedict (11)
I don't know what the problem is, but I'm sure it can be solved without resorting to violence.
More lines from Julius Benedict
1 quote Julius Benedict Scenes with Julius Benedict
12 scenes Julius Benedict My name is Julius and I am your twin brother.
Oh, obviously! The moment I sat down I thought I was looking into a mirror.
Money talks and bullshit walks!
Julius Benedict How can bullshit walk?
Julius Benedict Why are you being so immature about all this?
Look, Julius. Do you know how many times I've heard stories like this? It's every orphan's fantasy: "My real mom and dad were rich, and beautiful. But... there was a mix-up at the hospital. And I got switched with another baby. But one day, there's gonna be a knock at the door. And there they'll be, with open arms, crying, 'My darling. My treasure. We didn't know. How can we make it up to you?'" Let me tell you something for your own good, Julius. It's a CROCK!
Julius Benedict I'm really worried about you, Vincent. How much money do you owe? Now don't lie to me. We're twins. I can feel your pain.
Why do you keep saying that? We're not twins, were not brothers, we're nothing.
Julius Benedict Twenty thousand?
Due this morning. [gets in the car] Come on!
Julius Benedict Now don't worry about anything, Vincent. As long as I'm with you, I won't let anyone harm you. Okay?
[impressed with Julius's fighting abilities]
You could be a boxer or something. I could be your manager.
Julius Benedict No, I could never fight for money.
Well that's fine. You fight, I'll keep the money.
Julius Benedict Actually, I hate violence.
But you're so good at it!
Julius Benedict For the first time in my life, I'm... pissed off!
[trying to hold Julius back]
Julius, don't do this to me! I got a car to deliver! The last thing I need is a detour to the slammer!
Women love men who are mysterious and devious. It keeps them on their toes. It excites them. You know what I mean?
Julius Benedict No.
You do like women?
Julius Benedict Oh, very much so. They're strange and sensitive. They have compassion. I have the highest respect for women.
Julius Benedict That's private.
Julius Benedict Wait a minute. You forgot the third rule in a crisis situation.
Mr. Webster What third rule?
Third rule?
Julius Benedict Yeah, third rule.
Mr. Webster What's the third rule?
Julius Benedict, Vincent Benedict
Duck!
[Vincent hits the crane switch which drops a pile of chains on Mr. Webster burying him]
Yo! Holy shmoly! Now there's a man with a lot on his mind.
Mitchell Traven We weren't making milkshakes. We were making the most fully developed human the world has ever seen.
But instead of just one perfect kid, Mom had the two of us. [smiling] Way to go, Mom.
Mitchell Traven Wrong. The embryo did split in two, but it didn't split equally. All the purity and strength went into Julius. All the crap that was left over went into what you see in the mirror every morning.
Wow, wow, wow, you're telling me that I'm the crap?
Julius Benedict This is not true, Vincent.
Wait a minute, Julius. I wanna hear this. [to Traven] You're telling me that I am the left over crap? That I'm no good?
Julius Benedict He's wrong.
Mitchell Traven [points at Vincent]
Look at him.
Are you saying that... I'm a side effect?
Mitchell Traven You haven't got the brainpower to understand this, and I don't have the time. Show's over.
Julius Benedict [seizes Traven]
Hey, "dick-head"! Tell us where our mother is.
Mitchell Traven Ah... Whispering Pines. It's an artist's colony 200 miles north of Santa Fe.
Julius Benedict If you're lying to me... I'll be back.
My life just got flushed down the toilet.
Julius Benedict No, Vincent.
I'm genetic garbage.
Julius Benedict We're twins. We're basically the same.
Look, Julius, I don't know if you've noticed yet, but we don't look the same, we don't talk the same, and we don't dress the same!
Julius Benedict I know.
So if we're so alike, how come we're so goddamn different?
Julius Benedict We had six fathers. We're many parts of a lot of different people.
Yeah?
Julius Benedict And don't forget, I was taken to a beautiful island, I was cared for, educated, looked after. You had nobody, Vincent. No one to love you, teach you, or encourage you. You see, Vincent, you're the missing part of my life. And I'm the missing part of your life. And when we find Mama, we can be the missing part of her life. We won't be alone anymore. We can be a family.
A family?
Julius Benedict Yes.
You mean, like, with a Christmas tree... and Thanksgiving dinner?
Julius Benedict And a real home, where you'll always be welcome.
Always?
Julius Benedict [smiles]
Even when you've been bad.
Julius Benedict Axe, axe, axe, axe, axe!
Julius Benedict [Morris Klane swings the axe at Julius]
You have no respect for logic.
But he's got an axe!
Julius Benedict [Klane charges Julius, who sidesteps his blow. The axe is embedded in the wall. As Julius grabs him]
And I have no respect for those who have no respect for logic.
Julius Benedict [Julius picks Klane up with both hands and lifts him a foot up in the air]
You're a very stupid person.
[Julius throws him into an open elevator] [to Klane as the elevator is about to close]
You tell your brother, he messes with ME, he messes with my whole family!
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