How are things coming along in the Angela Hayes case?
How are things coming along in the mind-your-own-****-business case?
How are things coming along in the hand-me-your-gun-and-your-badge?
Most scenes together: Mildred Hayes & Dixon (5), Mildred Hayes & William 'Bill' Willoughby (4), Mildred Hayes & Robbie (3)
How are things coming along in the Angela Hayes case?
How are things coming along in the mind-your-own-****-business case?
How are things coming along in the hand-me-your-gun-and-your-badge?
Why are you never on my side, Robbie?
I'm always on your side when you're not being a ****!
Hey!
There will be no more "****s" in this house. You got that, mister?
What? Are you moving out?
What's the matter with you, saying that goddamn stuff on TV?... My momma watches that station.
She doesn't know about the torturing?
No. She's against that kinda thing.
Who's against what?
My momma is against persons-of-color-torturing. She said ****-torturing. I said, You can't say ****-torturing no more. You gotta say persons-of-color-torturing. Isn't that right, Chief?
I just wanted to say, there's a lot of good friends of Bill Willoughby in this town, Ms. Hayes...
Goddamn it!
Then why don't you tell those good friends of Bill Willoughby to tell him to go do his **** job, fat boy.
...
Hey there Mildred! You didn't happen to pay a visit to the dentist today, did you?
Uh?
I said "no".
Oh, so it wasn't you who drilled a little hole in one of big fat Geoffrey's big fat thumbnails, no?
Of course not.
Huh?
I said, "Of course not".
You drilled a hole in the dentist?
Denise, no, I didn't.
Well, I thought it was kind of funny myself, but he wants to press charges, so we're gonna have to bring you in, I'm afraid.
You all right?
I think I wanna go home now. Don't give me any shit, James. I'll do it another night, alright?
Why would I wanna do it another night, when you've been embarrassed to be here ever since we arrived.
For Christ sake. I didn't force you to come on this date, alright? You forced me.
Forced you? I asked you on a date. Wow. You know, I know I'm not that much of a catch. I know I'm a dwarf who sells used cars and has a drinkin' problem, I know that. But who the hell are you, ma'am? You're that billboard lady who never smiles, never has a good word to say about anybody, and who in evenin' times set ****in' fire to police stations! [tearfully] And I'm the one whose not a catch. [gets up from his seat, leaves the table]
Hey.
You know, I didn't have to come and hold your ladder.
[leaves]
What?
Don't say "what", Dixon, when she comes in calling you a ****head, and don't you come in here...
Shut up! [to Dixon] You, get over here.
No! You, get over here.
Alright.
What? Don't, Dixon!
What? I'm...
You do not allow a member of the public to call you a ****head in the station house!
That's what I'm doing, I'm taking care of it in my own way, actually. Now get out of my ass! Mrs. Hayes, have a seat! What is it I can do for you today?
Where's Denise Watson?
Denise Watson's in the clank.
On what charge?
Possession.
Of what?
Two marijuana cigarettes. Big ones.
When's the bail hearing?
I asked the judge not to give her bail on account of her previous marijuana violations and the judge said sure.
You **** prick!
You do not call an officer of the law a **** prick in his own station-house, Mrs. Hayes. Or anywhere, actually.
What's with the new attitude, Dixon? Your momma been coaching ya?
No. My momma didn't do that. [as Mildred leaves the police station house] Take 'em down, you hear me?
You did good, Dixon.
Yeah, I know I did.
Dixon?
Yeah?
Are you sure about this?
'Bout killing this guy? Not really. You?
Not really. I guess we can decide along the way.
Hey, Dixon?
Yeah?
I need to tell you something... It was me that burned down the police station.
Well, who the hell else would it have been?
So how's it all going in the ****- torturing business, Dixon?
It's 'Persons of color'-torturing business, these days, if you want to know. And I didn't torture nobody.
Whistle on what ya can and can't say on a billboard? I assume it's ya can't say nothing defamatory, and ya can't say, '****' 'Piss' or '****'. That right?
Or... Anus.
Well I think I'll be alright then.
You old ****!
I'm not old, Robbie.
Jason, Willoughby here. I'm dead now, sorry about that. There's something I wanted to say to you that I never really said when I was alive. I think you've got the makings of being a really good cop, Jason, and you know why? Because, deep down, you're a decent man. I know you don't think I think that, but I do, dipshit. I do think you're too angry though, and I know it's all since your dad died and you had to go look after your mom and all, but as long as you hold on to so much hate, then I don't think you're ever going to become, what I know you want to become - a detective. 'Cause you know what you need to become a detective? And I know you're gonna wince when I say this, but what you need to become a detective is love.
**** 'em.
Because through love comes calm, and through calm comes thought. And you need thought to detect stuff sometimes, Jason. It's kinda all you need. You don't even need a gun. And you definitely don't need hate. Hate never solved nothing, but calm did. And thought did. Try it. Try it just for a change. No one'll think you're gay. And if they do, arrest 'em for homophobia! Won't they be surprised! Good luck to you, Jason. You're a decent man, and yeah you've had a run of bad luck, but things are gonna change for you. I can feel it.
I'd do anything to catch the guy who did it, Mrs. Hayes, but when the DNA don't match no one who's ever been arrested, and when the DNA don't match any other crime nationwide, and there wasn't a single eyewitness from the time she left your house to the time we found her, well... right now there ain't too much more we could do.
You could pull blood from every man and boy in this town over the age of 8.
There's civil rights laws prevents that, Mrs. Hayes, and what if he was just passing through town?
Pull blood from every man in the country.
And what if he was just passing through the country?
If it was me, I'd start up a database, every male baby was born, stick 'em on it, and as soon as he done something wrong, cross reference it, make 100% certain it was a correct match, then kill him.
Yeah well, there's definitely civil rights laws that prevents that.
Hey there! You know who threw that can?
What can?
How about you, sweetheart? You know who threw that can?
Uh, no, I didn't really see...
Thank you, Mom.
Dear Mildred, Dead Man Willoughby here. Firstly, I wanted to apologize for dyin' without catchin' your daughter's killer. It's a source of great pain to me and it would break my heart to think you thought I didn't care. 'Cause I did care. There are just some cases, where you never catch a break. Then 5 years down the line, some guy hears some other guy braggin' about it in a barroom or a jail cell. The whole thing is wrapped up through sheer stupidity. I hope that might be true for Angela, I really do. Second, I got to admit Mildred, the billboards were a great **** idea. They were like a chess move. And although they had absolutely nothing to do with my dyin'... I will assume almost everyone in town will assume that they did. Which is why, for Willoughby's counter-move, I decided to pay the next month's rent on 'em. I thought it'd be funny, you having to defend them a whooole 'nother month after they've stuck me in the ground. The joke is on you Mildred. Ha ha, and I hope they do not kill you. So good luck with all that, and good luck with everything else too. I hope and I pray that you get him.