Mildred Hayes quotes from Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri (2017)

Mildred Hayes

This didn't put an end to shit, you **** ****; this is just the **** start. Why don't you put that on your Good Morning Missouri **** wake up broadcast, bitch?

Mildred Hayes

Y'know what I was thinking about today? I was thinking 'bout those street gangs they had down in Los Angeles, those Crips and those Bloods? I was thinking about that buncha new laws they came up with, in the 1980's I think it was, to combat those street-gangs, those Crips and those Bloods. And, if I remember rightly, the gist of what those new laws were saying was if you join one of these gangs, and you're running with 'em, and down the block one night, unbeknownst to you, one of your fellow Crips, or your fellow Bloods, shoot up a place, or stab a guy, well then, even though you didn't know nothing about it, and even though you may've just been standing on a streetcorner minding your own business, what these new laws said was you're still culpable. You're still culpable, by the very act of joining those Crips, or those Bloods, in the first place. Which got me thinking, Father, that whole type of situation is kinda like your Church boys, ain't it? You've got your collars, you've got your clubhouse, you're, for want of a better word, a gang. And if you're upstairs smoking a pipe and reading a bible while one of your fellow gang members is downstairs **** an altar boy then, Father, just like those Crips, and just like those Bloods, you're culpable. Cos you joined the gang, man. And I don't care if you never did shit or you never saw shit or you never heard shit. You joined the gang. You're culpable. And when a person is culpable to altar-boy-****, or any kinda boy-****, I know you guys didn't really narrow that down, then they kinda forfeit the right to come into my house and say anything about me, or my life, or my daughter, or my billboards. So, why don't you just finish your tea there, Father, and get the **** outta my kitchen.

Mildred Hayes

Hey baby... Yup, still no arrests. How come I wonder? 'Cause there ain't no God and the whole world's empty, and it doesn't matter what we do to each other? I hope not. How come you came up here out of nowhere lookin' so pretty? You ain't trynta make me believe in reincarnation or somethin' are ya? 'Cause you're pretty but you ain't her... She got killed. Now she's dead forever. I do thank you for comin' though. If I had some food I'd give it to ya. All I got is some Doritos, 'n' they might kill ya, they're kinda pointy... Then where would we be?

Mildred Hayes

So how's it all going in the ****- torturing business, Dixon?

Dixon

It's 'Persons of color'-torturing business, these days, if you want to know. And I didn't torture nobody.

Dixon

What's the matter with you, saying that goddamn stuff on TV?... My momma watches that station.

Mildred Hayes

She doesn't know about the torturing?

Dixon

No. She's against that kinda thing.

Willoughby

Who's against what?

Dixon

My momma is against persons-of-color-torturing. She said ****-torturing. I said, You can't say ****-torturing no more. You gotta say persons-of-color-torturing. Isn't that right, Chief?

Mildred Hayes

Whistle on what ya can and can't say on a billboard? I assume it's ya can't say nothing defamatory, and ya can't say, '****' 'Piss' or '****'. That right?

Red Welby

Or... Anus.

Mildred Hayes

Well I think I'll be alright then.

Willoughby

I'd do anything to catch the guy who did it, Mrs. Hayes, but when the DNA don't match no one who's ever been arrested, and when the DNA don't match any other crime nationwide, and there wasn't a single eyewitness from the time she left your house to the time we found her, well... right now there ain't too much more we could do.

Mildred Hayes

You could pull blood from every man and boy in this town over the age of 8.

Willoughby

There's civil rights laws prevents that, Mrs. Hayes, and what if he was just passing through town?

Mildred Hayes

Pull blood from every man in the country.

Willoughby

And what if he was just passing through the country?

Mildred Hayes

If it was me, I'd start up a database, every male baby was born, stick 'em on it, and as soon as he done something wrong, cross reference it, make 100% certain it was a correct match, then kill him.

Willoughby

Yeah well, there's definitely civil rights laws that prevents that.

Geoffrey

I just wanted to say, there's a lot of good friends of Bill Willoughby in this town, Ms. Hayes...

Geoffrey

Goddamn it!

Mildred Hayes

Then why don't you tell those good friends of Bill Willoughby to tell him to go do his **** job, fat boy.
...

Willoughby

Hey there Mildred! You didn't happen to pay a visit to the dentist today, did you?

Mildred Hayes

No.

Willoughby

Uh?

Mildred Hayes

I said "no".

Willoughby

Oh, so it wasn't you who drilled a little hole in one of big fat Geoffrey's big fat thumbnails, no?

Mildred Hayes

Of course not.

Willoughby

Huh?

Mildred Hayes

I said, "Of course not".

Denise

You drilled a hole in the dentist?

Mildred Hayes

Denise, no, I didn't.

Willoughby

Well, I thought it was kind of funny myself, but he wants to press charges, so we're gonna have to bring you in, I'm afraid.

Angela

Why are you never on my side, Robbie?

Robbie

I'm always on your side when you're not being a ****!

Hey!

Mildred Hayes

There will be no more "****s" in this house. You got that, mister?

Robbie

What? Are you moving out?

Willoughby

Jason, Willoughby here. I'm dead now, sorry about that. There's something I wanted to say to you that I never really said when I was alive. I think you've got the makings of being a really good cop, Jason, and you know why? Because, deep down, you're a decent man. I know you don't think I think that, but I do, dipshit. I do think you're too angry though, and I know it's all since your dad died and you had to go look after your mom and all, but as long as you hold on to so much hate, then I don't think you're ever going to become, what I know you want to become - a detective. 'Cause you know what you need to become a detective? And I know you're gonna wince when I say this, but what you need to become a detective is love.

Mildred Hayes

**** 'em.

Willoughby

Because through love comes calm, and through calm comes thought. And you need thought to detect stuff sometimes, Jason. It's kinda all you need. You don't even need a gun. And you definitely don't need hate. Hate never solved nothing, but calm did. And thought did. Try it. Try it just for a change. No one'll think you're gay. And if they do, arrest 'em for homophobia! Won't they be surprised! Good luck to you, Jason. You're a decent man, and yeah you've had a run of bad luck, but things are gonna change for you. I can feel it.

Robbie

You old ****!

Mildred Hayes

I'm not old, Robbie.

Robbie

Don't, don't!

Mildred Hayes

Hey there! You know who threw that can?

Boy

What can?

Mildred Hayes

How about you, sweetheart? You know who threw that can?

Uh, no, I didn't really see...

Robbie

Thank you, Mom.

Mildred Hayes

Hey ****head!

Dixon

What?

Desk Sergeant

Don't say "what", Dixon, when she comes in calling you a ****head, and don't you come in here...

Mildred Hayes

Shut up! [to Dixon] You, get over here.

Dixon

No! You, get over here.

Mildred Hayes

Alright.

Desk Sergeant

What? Don't, Dixon!

Dixon

What? I'm...

Desk Sergeant

You do not allow a member of the public to call you a ****head in the station house!

Dixon

That's what I'm doing, I'm taking care of it in my own way, actually. Now get out of my ass! Mrs. Hayes, have a seat! What is it I can do for you today?

Mildred Hayes

Where's Denise Watson?

Dixon

Denise Watson's in the clank.

Mildred Hayes

On what charge?

Dixon

Possession.

Mildred Hayes

Of what?

Dixon

Two marijuana cigarettes. Big ones.

Mildred Hayes

When's the bail hearing?

Dixon

I asked the judge not to give her bail on account of her previous marijuana violations and the judge said sure.

Mildred Hayes

You **** prick!

Dixon

You do not call an officer of the law a **** prick in his own station-house, Mrs. Hayes. Or anywhere, actually.

Mildred Hayes

What's with the new attitude, Dixon? Your momma been coaching ya?

Dixon

No. My momma didn't do that. [as Mildred leaves the police station house] Take 'em down, you hear me?

Desk Sergeant

You did good, Dixon.

Dixon

Yeah, I know I did.

James

You all right?

Mildred Hayes

I think I wanna go home now. Don't give me any shit, James. I'll do it another night, alright?

James

Why would I wanna do it another night, when you've been embarrassed to be here ever since we arrived.

Mildred Hayes

For Christ sake. I didn't force you to come on this date, alright? You forced me.

James

Forced you? I asked you on a date. Wow. You know, I know I'm not that much of a catch. I know I'm a dwarf who sells used cars and has a drinkin' problem, I know that. But who the hell are you, ma'am? You're that billboard lady who never smiles, never has a good word to say about anybody, and who in evenin' times set ****in' fire to police stations! [tearfully] And I'm the one whose not a catch. [gets up from his seat, leaves the table]

Mildred Hayes

Hey.

James

You know, I didn't have to come and hold your ladder.
[leaves]

Mildred Hayes

Hey, Dixon?

Dixon

Yeah?

Mildred Hayes

I need to tell you something... It was me that burned down the police station.

Dixon

Well, who the hell else would it have been?

Mildred Hayes

Dixon?

Dixon

Yeah?

Mildred Hayes

Are you sure about this?

Dixon

'Bout killing this guy? Not really. You?

Mildred Hayes

Not really. I guess we can decide along the way.