G Grandmaster
What happened to my manners? I haven't properly introduced myself. Come on. Follow me. My name is Grandmaster. I preside over a little harlequinade called the Contest of Champions. People come from far and wide to unwillingly participate in it. And you, my friend, might just be part of the new cast. What do you say to that?
We're not friends, and I don't give a shit about your games! I'm going back to Asgard!
G Grandmaster
[Amused]
"Ass-guard"?
G Grandmaster
Time works real different around these parts. On any other world, I'd be, like, millions of years old. But here on Sakaar.... [Beholds himself] In any case, you know this, ah, this, ah... you call yourself the "Lord of Thunder"?
God of Thunder. [Whispering to Loki] Tell him.
... I've never met this man in my life.
G Grandmaster
Is he any kind of a fighter?
Heh...heh. You take this thing out of my neck and I'll show you!
G Grandmaster
[Absolutely gleefully]
Now, listen to that, he's threat-threatening me! Hey, Sparkles! Here's the deal: You want to get back to "Ass-place," "Ass-berg..."
G Grandmaster
... Any contender who defeats my champion... their freedom they shall win.
[Lets loose a "so-done-with-this-crap" eye roll]
FINE! Then point me in the direction of whoever's arse I have to kick!
G Grandmaster
That's what I call...a contender! That direction would be, would be this way, Lord.
[Grandmaster waves his fingers and Thor's chair starts to move] [Yelps]
Loki!
G Grandmaster
[Post-credits scene: the Grandmaster comes out of a crash-landed ship at Sakaarians]
Oh. Oh. I... I just... I got to say, I'm proud of you all. This revolution has been a huge success. Yay, us! Pat... pat on the back. Pat on the back. Come on. No? Me too. Because I've been a... a big part of it. Can't have a revolution without somebody to overthrow. So, uh, you're welcome. And, uh, it's a tie.