This is 40 (2012) quotes

View Quote Barry: That's the one thing you don't do. You don't tell her you took Viagra. I'm pretty sure that's on the warning label.

View Quote Debbie: [comes into the shop] Hi.
Desi: Hi!
Debbie: How's Jodi treating you?
Desi: Jodi? Oh, Jodi's my new BFF. She's like a little kitty cat. Sometimes she comes and rubs up against my leg.
Jodi: You're a ball of shit.
Desi: She loves me.

View Quote Debbie: So you would do sex with me?
Flirty Hockey Player: 'Do sex'? What are you, Borat?

View Quote Debbie: Who goes to the bathroom for a half hour?
Pete: John Goodman.

View Quote Graham Parker: Got a bit of a problem. Touch of gout.
Pete: Gout?
Graham Parker: Yeah, my whole family, they all had gout.
Pete: Jesus.
Ronnie: That's very unfortunate.
Graham Parker: My auntie Queenie, she had a foot like the size of a small pig. I've got a photo of it.
Ronnie: I'd love to see that photo of that gout foot.
Graham Parker: A couple of bunions as well.
Ronnie: ****.

View Quote Graham Parker: Have a small nut; that's the key to life.

View Quote Jason: Oh, my gosh, hi. Me, oh, my. I did not see you there.
Desi: Hi.
Ronnie: I saw you there.
Desi: Did you guys come together? Are you... a couple?
[Ronnie and Jason both deny it]
Desi: I just, I'm sorry, I thought it was, uh... the mustache is a little...
Jason: Mm, that's fair.
Desi: I just assumed.
Ronnie: This is a straight man's mustache.
Desi: What is the difference between a gay man's mustache and a... straight man's mustache?
Jason: The smell.

View Quote Larry: I just figured out what your problem is. You hate Jews! Which is so odd, because your children are Jewish.
Debbie: Don't play the Jew Card, Larry.
Larry: I'm not playing any Jew Card.
Debbie: Seriously? It's used up.
Larry: You can't use up a Jew Card. That's the whole point of a Jew Card.
Barry: That's right. You can't use it up. It goes forever.

View Quote Pete: Don't talk to me about responsibilities. I have a life. I have a family. I can't afford to sit in my apartment getting high, jerking off, and then going to Tommy's Chili Burgers at three o'clock in the morning.
Ronnie: That's not even the order that happens in!

View Quote Pete: We had sex the other night. You should give me some credit for that.
Debbie: It's not about credit.

View Quote Ronnie: [Referring to Graham Parker video they are viewing] What are you doing?
Cat: I'm contextualizing him as one of the great figures in rock history.
Ronnie: You can't show him in his prime in '77 and then jump straight to him as he is now. It's terrifying. You have to reverse it. You have got to show him as he is now, very briefly, and then show him in 1977. You have got to Benjamin Button it.
Cat: I don't know what you're talking about. All rock stars are older now. Steven Tyler, David Bowie, Mick Jagger...
Pete: Paul McCartney.
Ronnie: Okay, stop it. Everybody that you are mentioning looks like an old woman now. You're just mentioning a bunch of Jessica Tandys. Keith Richards gets away with it, but that's because Keith Richards looked 70 when he was 40. And now that he's 70, he looks 69. He's regenerating.

View Quote Sadie: I don't look at porn like Wendy.
Debbie: I knew she was trouble. She's not allowed here anymore.

View Quote Sadie: I don't make fun of your stupid Mad Men!
Pete: First of all, I don't get worked up over Mad Men.
Sadie: That's because Mad Men sucks!
Pete: What Don Draper has gone through beats whatever Jack is running from on some **** island.
Sadie: A bunch of people smoking in an office, it's stupid!

View Quote [about Desi] Everything that comes out of her mouth is a lie. Everything that goes into her mouth is a dick.

View Quote All of a sudden we're a magnet of negativity. What did we do?