N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z #


Taxi quotes

30 total quotes

Andy Washburn

Man: (hits cab window, jumps in back)
Belle: Hey! What the hell is your problem? (wipes off window)
Man: Cabbie, I need to be at the J.F.K. in fifteen minutes. 100 bucks says I make it.
Belle: Whoo! Done. You jumped in the right cab today.
(pushes buttons, levers which converts cab in to a more high-powered cab)
Belle: I don't usually stop for white guys. It's my way of balancing the universe.
Man: (stares at watch irritated) That's fourteen minutes.
Belle: (puts car in gear) Buckle up for safety, motherf-
(cab speeds off)

(after hearing about a robbery on the walkie-talkie)
Andy: (to a car) Freeze! Offical police business! I'm gonna need-
(the car tries to halt but instead swerves into a parked car. Another car, following close behind, hits it. Soon there is a major car pile up.)
Andy: (seeing the wreakage, takes off)

(Two of the bank robbers are arguing in Portuguese)
Andy: What are they sayin'?
Belle: The redhead is sayin' she doesn't want to kill a cop. So, if we just play it cool then they'll leave us here tied up.
Andy: Okay. Okay. I'll play it cool. Play it cool. (winks)
Belle: Okay. Hey...what was that wink for?
Andy: Shh. Hey, trust me.
Belle: No, no, no, no, no, man. What was that about?
Andy: Shh. Trust me. Trust me.
Belle: Trust you?
Andy: Yeah.
Belle: Trust you? Hell no. Uh-uh. No way. (to bank robbers) Hey! Excuse me! Excuse me! Don't mean to interrupt. He's gonna do something. He just winked at me.
Andy: Hey, what's wrong with you?
Belle: What's wrong with me?
Andy: Yeah!
Belle: Uh, I got a problem getting SHOT! (to red-headed bank robber) Did you frisk him?
Red-headed Bank Robber: (****s gun and point it at Andy) Si.
Bell: Well frisk his ass again! He got at least one more gun on him. Cavity-search him!
Andy: I do not! (to robbers) I swear!
Belle: He's got a gun and he's gonna use it! He's crazy.
Andy: Whose side are you on?
Belle: MINE!

(after changing from police uniform to everyday clothes) You didn't see my nads, did ya?

(to Andy) This is your unmarked car? A Daewoo? Man, I know people. I can't be seen in this thing. Open the door. I don't wanna get Daewoo on my hands.

(to Belle while on stakeout) So, you got guy problems, huh? Overheard you and your man on the phone. Want a little bit of wisdom from the man side? I'll give it to you. Men, are like cats, you know? Sure, we'll play with the ball of yarn, unless you want us to play with the ball of yarn. Trick is, hide the ball of yarn. (laughs) But, don't hide it where you can't find it, you know? "Hey what's the ball of yarn doin' in the fridge?" Whatever, you know what I'm sayin'?

(voice distorted from laughing gas) Man, you stupid!

[From Outtakes] (voice distorted from laughing gas) I sound like Barry White's illegtimate white grandson.

Everyone has their weaknesses, okay! Superman has Kryptonite. Indiana Jones has snakes. You know? Whitney Houston has Bobby Brown...or vice versa.

I remember savin' this one, I remember savin' this one. Oh, hey, Jesse!

I'm not a very good driver!

That skank shot me.

Uh, I got a problem gettin' shot!

What you gonna do with the girl, but love her...and pay her!

You calm down now, lady!