Jake Perry Honey, just 'cause I talk slow doesn't mean I'm stupid.
2nd most-quoted character in Sweet Home Alabama (2002): in 16 of its 49 quotes
Most scenes with: Melanie Carmichael (9)
The only reason I ain't signing is cause you've turned into some hoity toity Yankee bitch and I'd like nothing better right now than to piss you off.
More lines from Jake Perry
4 quotes Jake Perry Jake Perry [after looking at divorce papers]
I better have my lawyer take a look at these. I'm just a simple country boy. There's all kinds of big words in here I can't even pronounce. Hell, you might be takin' me to the cleaners for all I know.
Jake Perry You can have roots and wings.
Jake Perry Nobody finds their soul mate when they're ten. I mean, where's the fun in that, right?
Scenes with Jake Perry
11 scenes
Young Melanie
What do you want to marry me for anyhow?
Young Jake
So I can kiss you anytime I want.
Jake [not recognizing Melanie in her sunglasses]
Can I help you?
Well, for starters, you can get your stubborn ass down here and give me a divorce.
Jake Are you shittin' me?
I never fully understood that expression, but no, I am not shitting you.
Jake Well, how about you say 'Hey there Jake, lookin' good. How's the family?'
You expect me to say that you look good? What'd, they run out of soap at the Piggly Wiggly since I left?
And don't even pretend like you missed me.
Jake Oh, I missed you all right, but at this range, my aim is bound to improve.
Jake What the hell is this? Chick food?
Light beer. Less calories.
Jake Whatever blows your dress up, darlin'. You go right ahead and spend your money.
Oh, but darlin', I thought you said we should think of it as "our money."
[Jake stops cold]
Just a guess: The words joint checking are flashing in your head right now.
Stella You know for someone whose been holding onto something for so long, you're pretty quick to let it go.
Jake I can't control her, any more than I can control the weather.
Jake Anybody think of anything in here that, uh, might bother Bobby Ray?
Wade Uh, Clinton's breath.
Jake You still the same Bobby Ray from last night?
Last time I checked, yeah.
Jake [puts arm on shoulder]
Well, then, let me buy you a drink.
Well, you're really not my type... [laughter]
Jake C'mon, I wanna show you something.
I can't.
Jake Can't? Or won't?
Both.
Jake The girl I knew used to be fearless.
The girl you knew didn't have a life.
Jake Guess you better get on with it then.
Now what kind of wife would I be if I didn't pick up after my husband?
Jake The kind that don't live here.
What are you doing?
Jake Leavin’, you done it, you should recognize the gesture.
