[to the crowd of reporters]
Now, look. [throws newspapers down in succession, reading out their headlines] The Post: "IT FLIES!" The News: "LOOK MA - NO WIRES!" The Times: "BLUE BOMB BUZZES METROPOLIS". The Planet. [the headline on the Daily Planet reads: "CAPED WONDER STUNS CITY"] We're sitting on top of the story of the century here! I want the name of this flying whatchamacallit to go with the Daily Planet like bacon and eggs, franks and beans, death and taxes, politics and corruption!
[raises his hand]
I, I don't think he would, uh, lend himself to any ch-cheap promotion schemes, though, Mr. White.
Exactly how would you know that, Kent?
[hesitates as everyone looks at him]
Um...uh, uh, j-just a first impression?
Well anyway, who's talking cheap? I'll make him a partner if I have to! Right?
S Secretary
Right, Chief.
I want the real story! [bangs his desk. Lois is taking notes and finds a card with a personal message on it] I want the inside dope on this guy! Has he got a family? Where does he live? What does the "S" stand for? Family? Relatives? How does he fly?
[reading a note out loud in a whisper]
"TONIGHT AT EIGHT - YOU PLACE - HOPEFULLY - A FRIEND". [remembers what Superman had said to her and realizes that the notes is from him] A friend!
Tony, who is he? Mike, what's his name? What's he got hidden underneath that cape of his, batteries? Why did he show up last night? Dick, where does he come from? [to Lois] Does he have a girlfriend? [to Clark] What's his favorite ball team, Kent? Now listen to me! I tell you, boys and girls, whichever one of you gets it out of him is going to wind up with the single most important interview since...God talked to Moses! What are you standing around about for? Move! Get on that story!
[After Lex caused a cop to get pushed in front of a train]
Sick! Sick. You're really sick!
Sick, Miss Teschmacher? When I'm mere days away from executing the Crime of the Century? How do you choose to congratulate the greatest criminal mind on our time? Do you tell me that I'm brilliant? A bit obvious, that, I grant you. Charismatic, then? Fiendishly gifted?
Miss Teschmacher, you don't know the half of it. [both laugh as Miss Teschmacher begins to search through a cabinet] Get away from there! Hey! I said get away from there!!
[closes the drawer]
Tell me something Lex, why do so many people have to die for the Crime of the Century?
Why? You ask why? Why does the phone always ring when you're in the bathtub? Why is the most brilliantly diabolical leader of our time surrounding himself with total nincompoops?
[enters the room]
I'm back, Mr. Luthor.
Ah yes, Otis, I was just talking about you. You were followed again, weren't you? [Otis spins around, knocking over a lamp] In spite of those catlike reflexes.
Mr. Luthor? Mr. Luthor, I'm sorry.
Otis, is that the newspaper I asked you to get me?
[looks at the newspaper]
Yeah.
[thinks for a second]
'Cause I haven't given it to you yet?
[smiles]
Right. [snatches the newspaper from Otis' hand and reads it] At last it's official! [shows the front page of the newspaper, the headline reading "TWIN NUCLEAR TESTS CONFIRMED".] Thanks to the generous help of the United States government, we are about to be involved in the greatest real estate swindle of all time!
Lex, what is this obsession with real estate? All the time-land, land, land.
Miss Teschmacher, when I was six years old, my father said to me...
[laughs]
Nope. Before that...He said, "Son...Stocks may rise and fall, utilities and transportation systems may collapse, people are no damn good, but they will always need land, and they will pay through the nose to get it. Remember", my father said...
Right. It's a pity he didn't live long enough to see how, from such humble beginnings, I've created this empire.
Miss Teschmacher, how many other girls do you know who are lucky enough to have a Park Avenue address like this one?
Park Avenue address? 200 feet below?
Do you realize what they're all paying per square foot up there for a few miserable rooms off a common elevator? [in unison with Otis] What more could anyone ask?
How about...sunshine. A night on the town instead of under it.
[Clark and Lois are being mugged] [points the Mugger's gun away from himself and Lois]
Now just a minute, mister. I realize times are tough for some these days, but this isn't the answer. You can't solve society's problems...with a gun.
M Mugger
You know something, buddy? You're right. I'm gonna turn over a new leaf.
Now, that's the spirit. [to Lois] See, he really doesn't want to hurt anybody.
[Mugger points the gun back at them] [sarcastically]
Uh-huh.
M Mugger
Right after I rip off this lady's purse. Now c'mon, lady. Hand it over.
Now, Lois, I think you better... [Lois begins to hand the Mugger her purse, but instead drops it] Lois! What are you doing?!
[The Mugger bends down to receive Lois' purse, but Lois kicks him in the face causing him to fire the gun. Clark Kent catches the bullet and falls over as the Mugger runs away]
Clark! Clark, are you okay?
[wakes up]
Golly, I...I guess I might have fainted.
Sorry. [Lois walks away as Clark opens his hand, looks at the audience, and tosses the bullet aside] Really, Lois, supposing that man had shot you? Is it worth risking your life over ten dollars, two credit cards, a hairbrush, and a lipstick?
You just described the exact contents of my purse.
[looks in]
Hmm. Wild guess. [runs off] Taxi!
[Lex Luthor has torn a page from a magazine from his library] [reading the article]
A meteorite found in Addis Ababa. I know I'm gonna get rapped in the mouth for this, but so what?
So what. You mean, to us, they're just meteorites. Fair enough. But the level of specific radioactivity is so high, to anyone from the planet Krypton, this substance is lethal.
Wait a minute, Mr. Luthor. You mean, fire and bullets can't hurt this guy, but this stuff here ...
[in unison]
...will kill him!
Doesn't it give you, like, a shudder of electricity to be in the same room with me?
Not like the shudder you're gonna get when you try to lay that rock on him. He can see you coming for miles with those super-peepers of his.
"Oh, Lord. You gave them eyes, yet they cannot see". Nor can Superman, through lead.
[understanding]
He can't see through lead!
And Kryptonite will destroy him. Any questions, class?
[thinking to herself]
I wonder what they're wearing in Addis Ababa?
[looking at the picture in the article]
Looks like a burnoose. [gasps] Are we going to Addis Ababa, Mr. Luthor?
[Lex, in a resigned look, shakes his head, puts his hand to his forehead and closes his eyes]
[Lex Luthor is swimming in his pool, listening to the TV news about Superman]
Miss Teschmacher! Turn it off.
[lying under sunlamps, turns off the TV]
Lex, what's the story on this guy? Do you think it's the genuine article?
If he is, he's not from this world.
Because, if any human being were going to perpetrate such a fantastic hoax, it would have been me! Otis! My robe!
It all fits somehow, his coming here to Metropolis. And at this particular time. There's a kind of cruel justice about it. I mean, to commit the crime of the century, a man naturally wants to face the challenge of the century. [lost in his thoughts, and stops at the top step of the pool where his feet are still submerged]
Listen, Mr. Luthor, maybe this guy that flies is just sort of passing through, you know? [enters the pool and starts helping Lex on with the robe, but the bottom of it then proceeds to get soaked]
[as Otis helps him putting on his robe]
Passing through? Not on your life. Which I would gladly sacrifice, by the way, for the opportunity of destroying everything that he represents. And, Otis, by the way, next time put my robe on AFTER I've left the pool.
[Lois Lane is waiting for Superman at her apartment]
Eight o'clock, he says eight o'clock. Hm. Some friend. [pours herself some wine] Story of my life. [sits down] Cinderella bites the dust.
[lands at the edge of her terrace]
Good evening, Miss Lane.
Oh, I'm sorry. Did you have plans this evening?
Oh. Oh, this old thing?...No.
Well listen, it's no trouble at all for me to come back later-
No! [rushes forward] Don't move! Um, er, uh...sure, you can move. Um, just don't fly away, all right?
[smiles, hops down onto the terrace, and walks forward]
Sorry to, uh, just drop in on you like this, Miss Lane, but I've been thinking. You know, there must be a lot of questions about me that people in the world would like to know the answers to...
Of course. Yes. Uh... [begins to light a cigarette]
Uh, you really shouldn't smoke, you know, Miss Lane.
Don't tell me. Lung cancer, right?
[using his x-ray vision, Superman looks at her lungs]
Well. Not yet, thank goodness.
Um, um, would you like a glass of wine?
Uh, no, no thanks. I never drink when I fly. Nice place.
Oh, thank you. Thank you. Um...should we get started with that interview? [goes to sit down and Superman goes to get her chair] Oh! Huh. Thank you. [Superman sits down, too] Well, ah, let's start with your vital statistics. Are you married?
Do you have a girlfriend?
Uh, no, I don't, but, uh, if I did, Miss Lane, you'd be the first to know about it.
Oh, I get it, you don't want anyone to know how old. And how big are you? How tall are you?
Six-foot-four and, uh, how much do you weigh?
Hm, around two, two-twenty five.
Two-Two-twenty five? Hm. Uh, well, um, um, I assume then that-that the rest of your bodily functions are...normal?
Well, putting it delicately. [leans forward] Do you...eat?
Uh, yes. Yes, I do. When I'm hungry.
You do? Of course you do. [gets up from the table and stands besides a large lead planter] Well, then. Uh, is it true that uh, you can...see through anything?
Yes, I can. Well, pretty much.
Mm-hm, and that you're, uh, totally impervious to pain?
What color underwear am I wearing?
Oh, I'm sorry. I embarrassed you, didn't I?
Oh, No, no, not at all, Miss Lane, it's just that this planter must be made of lead.
Well, you see, I, uh, I sort of have a problem seeing through lead.
Oh! That's interesting. [writing] 'Problem seeing through lead'. Hmmm. Uh, d-do you have a first name?
What, do you mean like Ralph or something?
No, no, I mean like, uh... [walks away from the planter]
Pink. [Lois scurries back to the planter] Um, sorry, Miss Lane, I didn't mean to embarrass you.
Oh, huh, you didn't embarrass me. Um, uh, what's your background? Uh, where do you hail from?
Well, that's kinda hard to explain actually. See, I'm from, um, well, pretty far away. Another galaxy, as a matter of fact. I come from a planet called Krypton.
No, a-actually, it's K-R-Y-P-T-O-N.
K-R-Y...do you like pink?
I like pink very much, Lois.
I mean, w-why are you here? There must be a reason for you to be here.
I'm here to fight for truth and justice and the American way.
You're gonna end up fighting every elected official in this country!
I'm sure you don't really mean that, Lois.
[to herself]
I don't believe this.
Oh. Um...uh, oh! Just how fast do you fly...by the way?
Oh, I don't know really. Y'know, I've never actually, uh, bothered to time myself.
Say. Why don't we find out?
And how do you propose we do that?
Well, actually, I'd be handling the flying if that's okay.
This is utterly fantastic!
Wait, wait a minute, where are you going?
Sure. What's the matter, don't you wanna go? Okay. [Lois grabs the pad and pen] Won't need these.
I mean. A sweater. It must be kind of cold?
You'll be warm enough. [takes Lois by the hand] Ready?
[stares at Superman]
Clark...said that you're just a figment of somebody's imagination. Like Peter Pan.
Clark, uh. Who's that? Your boyfriend?
Clark? Oh, Clark, no, he's nothing, he's just, uh...
Peter Pan flew with children, Lois. In a fairy tale.
[Superman grip Lois's shoulders, they shoot up into the night sky. Lois gasps]
[Superman carries Lois back to her terrace and puts her down]
We forgot to time ourselves. Maybe next time. [starts walking back to the edge of the terrace]: You okay?
Good night. [watches Superman flying away, thinking to herself] What a super man! [pauses] Superman!
[Knocking is heard from her door] [from behind the door]
Anybody home? Hello? Lois? [Lois answers the door] Hi. Can I come in?
[still infatuated with Superman]
Oh, yeah.
Lois, for goodness sake, didn't you hear me knocking?
[still in an infatuated, dream-like state]
Uh-huh!
Lois, we did have a date tonight, remember?
[performing a hand gesture for drinking]
You haven't been--hmm?
Well, I certainly hope not. Well, let's push off, shall we?
[Lois goes into the bedroom to get her coat. Clark then removes his glasses, straightens his posture, and takes a deep breath] [rehearsing in Superman's voice]
Lois, there's something I have to tell you. I'm really... [Lois returns with her coat, before he quickly puts on his glasses and starts slouching again, reverting back to Clark's voice] I mean...I was at first really nervous about tonight. But then I decided, well-Darn it, I was going to show you the time of your life.
[opening the door, still infatuated with Superman]
That's Clark, nice.
[grins to himself, exiting as well, shutting the door behind him]
I was thinking maybe we could go for a hamburger or whatever you want to do...
