Swink Bitch, that's cheating! I'm not even dead yet!
Played by Frankie Muniz 
Stay Alive (2006) · 29 quotes
Stay Alive (2006) · 29 quotes
3rd most-quoted character in Stay Alive (2006): in 9 of its 29 quotes
Most scenes with: Phineas (5), October (2), Hutch (2)
Hell yeah.
More lines from Swink
2 quotes Swink Swink (to Hutch and Abigail)
Go on, get out of here. I've got these punk-ass bitch mother****ers handled.
Scenes with Swink
6 scenes Swink (Phin licks Swink's controller and hands it to him)
Bro...
Let's do it.
Swink That's disgusting.
Touch it.
Swink But I just figured out how to strip one of those zombie concubines naked.
That is what I'm talking about. How do you do it?
Swink Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A.
Swink (Phineus smacks Swink's arm)
Don't touch me, A-hole!
"A-hole", Dude?
Swink Profanity is for the feeble-minded.
Well, I'm "effing" sorry I offended you... ****-ass. You ready for a good night, bro?
Swink Oh, I can't stay too late, I gotta double back to see a Naughty Network glitch for the theatre pledges, Quite the neurotic level.
Well, you can also take the skirt off and join us playing this virgin game, would you?
Swink Virgin?
Yes.
Swink Shoot, I-I really shouldn't.
Swink (Phineus points at him, trying to make Swink change his mind)
Okay, I'll figure something out.
Video Game Voice
When fear cripples you, when death's dark shadow surrounds you, drop a rose. It will help you... stay alive.
Swink We should drop one when we meet up with a boss we can't face.
Yeah, the undead can't cross the twig of a wild rose.
That is what happens when you read too much goth chick lit.
Swink Can Hutch come out and play?
Swink! You scared the crap out of me!
Swink (unfazed)
Why yes. I would love to come inside. Thank you for asking.
Evil Video Game Voice
When fear cripples you, when death's dark shadow surrounds you, drop a rose. It will help you stay alive.
Swink Right. It'll give us a chance to escape a ghost, if we can't face it.
Yeah, the undead can't cross the twig of a wild rose.
Phineus
That is what you learn when you read too much goth chicklet. You should lay off the incest, sister. And the game's fun, but it kind of moves along at a snail's pace. [the camera cuts to the gang shooting down hundreds of child zombies] Left. Go left. Go left. Left. On your left. On your left. LEFT! LEFT!! Goddamn it, you noob! Okay, and you eat my nails, and you eat my nails. All right, go round the mausoleum, man. Nice. And eat this. Come on! Sweet Jesus, these dead bitches are coming out in droves! Miller, that's it; the Bathory tomb, right in front of you! Do not close the door, man! Do not close the door! Miller! [Miller does so anyway] No! Oh, my God!
What's-- Where?
Right there. Is something in that wardrobe?
Hutch; [impressed] Oh, nice eye!
Thank you.
Phineus
Congrats, Abs. You popped your cherry.
It's, like, a secret room, or something. [noticing Bathory's painting and diary underneath] Is that a diary?
Yeah. The one from the beginning of the game with the prayer in it.
Miller, are you okay?
Uh, yeah, no, I'm good.
Phineus
Are you in those tunnels again, man? Because there is absolutely no action down there; the doors are locked.
Well, they're open now, you know, I'm explorin', I'm tearin' shit up. Ownin' fools.
"Ownin' fools"?
I'm telling you, my controller is vibratin'.
Dude, you better drop a rose.
[does so but realizes he doesn't have any more]
Now, I'm out of-- I'm out of G-- I'm out of Goddamn roses, man.
Swink At least tell us what you see before you book it out of there.
Some sort of sick torture room or-- God, man. I just s-- I just saw a flash of...dead girls, or-- [Countess Elizabeth Bathory attacks his character] Goddamn it, man! [Bathory stabs Miller's character] Man, she got me.
Who, one of the little girls?
Some-some-some...woman, man. I think it was the dame from the painting. You know, that, that...countess. You know, I-I-I-I didn't even get a chance to fight her, man.
Phineus
Okay, well, where's the torture chamber? 'Cause I want some ass.
I don't know. I mean, I went through a secret entrance, you know.
Uh, you gonna try to get back in the game?
[sighs]
Well-- [a shadow of Elizabeth Bathory walks past] Hey, is somebody out there? [doesn't see anybody]
Don't know. Uh, probably some Goddamn rent-a-cop tryin' to scare the shit out of the livin'. You know what they say. You know, you play the game too long, you know, you start seeing shit, you know, or have seizures. [chuckles nervously]
Swink Games could cause seizures. Now, perceptive of reality, on the other hand, has yielded some very interesting, you know, studies.
Phineus
Yeah, I'm sure you've read them all.
Swink I have. You know, it seems the longer you play, the more your subconscious mind perceives the game world to be a reality. You know, it's really interesting, but it's only a theory, of course. But then, there's, you know, retinal memory, which, you know--
[interrupting; politely]
That is so fascinating, sweetie, but I'm kind of feeling like we should call it a night.
Swink But I just figured out how to strip one of those zombie concubines naked.
Phin
That is what I'm talking about. How do you do it?
Swink Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A(, Start).
Phineus
[enters the code]
Boobs.
[she and Hutch laugh in amused shock and disgust]
Come on, you guys. Hutch is right. We'll pick it back up to date.
All right. Miller, you can, uh, rejoin us then.
Yeah. Yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah, and I'll, uh, check my schedule on that.
Thanks again for hanging with you guys. I really needed it.
Phineus
[sighs; salutes]
To Loomis.
Hutch, October, Abigail and Swink
[simultaneously]
To Loomis.
To Loomis.
