Slap Shot (1977) · 31 quotes
2nd most-quoted character in Slap Shot (1977): in 5 of its 31 quotes
Most scenes with: Reggie Dunlop (Head Coach | Captain) (3), Joe McGrath (2), Ned Braden (2)
I look like some sorta **** suckin ****!
Johnny Upton I'm gonna flash them Joe! I am gonna flash them! I am gonna walk down that stinkin' aisle, I am gonna open this **** bathrobe and wiggle my dick at 'em!
You WILL not!
Yes I am Joe and you know why? Because I want you to have a heart attack and die so that we never have to do this shit again. You and your ****in' fashion shows.
Johnny Upton They're ****in horrible looking
Don't look at me it was the old man's doing
Johnny Upton What the old man trade for these assholes a used puck bag? Watch Braden he's gonna do something
Hi. Are you guys brothers?
Johnny Upton Are you guys brothers..ha ha ha ha what a life!
Lard ass Barkley Donaldson,You all saw what happened. Stick down, gloves off, He challenged the Chiefs. Called us names, CALLED US NAMES! But Dave was there. Dave's a killer.
Johnny Upton Dave's a mess.
But Dave's out. Who's gonna take his place?
Is the answer Jesus?.
Ok guys. Show us what you got![looking directly to the Hansons]
Hey, Reg! Reg! What did you say to him?
I told him his wife was a ****.
NO!
Yeah!
Fuuuck!
Jesus Christ, no wonder he flipped his lid.
Johnny Upton Anybody called my old lady a ****, I'd go **** bananas!
His wife is a ****!
I look like some ****-sucking **** in this thing.
Have you seen Reg or Braden?
Joe, I don't care man. Enough is enough. Nowhere in my contract does it say I gotta make a fool out of myself. Am I right?
Johnny Upton I'm gonna flash 'em, Joe!
Aw, now, son...
Johnny Upton I'm gonna walk down that stinkin' aisle, I'm gonna open up this **** bathrobe and wiggle my dick at 'em!
You will not.
Yes I am, Joe, and you know why? Because I want you to have a heart attack and die so that we never have to do this shit again. You and your **** fashion shows.
It's good publicity! You boys just haven't been bringing in the crowds like you used to.
Johnny Upton I'm gonna wiggle it at 'em, you cheap bastard. I'm telling you, ya better be prepared, because when I yank it out, everybody in that audience with the exception of my wife is gonna be runnin' for the exits!
Ensemble #8, as we watch Chiefs defenseman, Johnny Upton, modelling #8...
Joe McGrath, just checking on Dunlop–
[The audience can be heard screaming at Upton, who apparently flashed the crowd; McGrath slowly hangs the phone up]
